The Condensed White House Correspondent’s Dinner Remarks About Fox News and Crybaby Trump

This year the White House Correspondent’s Dinner (WHCD) returned after a two year absence due to the COVID pandemic. What’s more it was the first time in six years that the President of the United States attended the formerly annual event. That’s because Donald Trump is too big a crybaby to sit through a program that might include a few jokes at his expense. So he boycotted every year during his occupation of the White House.

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Donald Trump, Snowflakes

In addition to his infantile emotional frailty, Trump is also too self-absorbed to want to help a charity, which is the reason the White House Correspondents Association holds this dinner. It’s purpose is to raise money for scholarships. But Trump’s snubbing of the dinner was all for the best because the president is expected to deliver his own humorous address at this affair. Just imagine how critically injured Trump would have been after falling on his … let’s say face while trying to be funny.

RELATED: Chickensh*t Trump Blows Off White House Correspondents Dinner: Paging Alec Baldwin

This year President Biden graciously accepted the invitation to attend and came prepared with an entertaining speech that was both comical and respectful of the fact that the world is struggling through trying times. Biden was followed by Trevor Noah, host of the Daily Show. And as a public service for those who were unable to watch the entirety of both performances, some highlights have been collected below. Specifically the ones relating to either Trump or Fox News. And for anyone who is interested, a transcript is here, and the full videos are also posted below. So without further ado…

Excerpts From President Biden’s Speech:

“This is the first time the president attended this dinner in six years. It’s understandable. We had a horrible plague followed by two years of COVID. […]

“Just imagine if my predecessor came to this dinner this year. Now that would really have been a real coup.” […]

“I know there are questions about whether we should gather here tonight because of COVID. Well, we’re here to show the country that we’re getting through this pandemic. Plus, everyone had to prove they were fully vaccinated and boosted. So, if you’re at home watching this and you’re wondering how to do that, just contact your favorite Fox News reporter. They’re all here vaccinated and boosted, all of them. […]

“And, look, Fox — Fox News, I’m really sorry your preferred candidate lost the last election. To make it up to you, I’m happy to give my Chief of Staff to you all so he can tell Sean Hannity what to say every day.”

Excerpts From Trevor Noah’s Speech:

“[Ron DeSantis has] been so busy trying to outmaneuver Trump for 2024. I see you, Ron. I see you, player. Yes, I’ve seen what you’ve been doing. Blaming Trump for the lockdowns, distancing yourself from the vaccines that Trump created with his own two hands.” […]

“Trump said he won the election. But everyone was just able to look at the numbers and see that he was wrong. That’s why Ron Desantis is one step ahead. First, you ban the math textbooks, then nobody knows how to count the votes.” […]

“And I will say, President Biden, that you are a big man here. A really big man. You could have targeted Donald Trump but instead, you chose to only raise taxes on billionaires. That was big of you. Really nice. Prove me wrong, show me the taxes.” […]

“You guys [in the press] are relentless. Every day you show up and every day you demand answers on the pressing issues of the day. And then Fox News asks about Hunter Biden. And I’ll be honest, though, I actually think that’s a good thing. I really do. I think people need to be held accountable if they’re using their dad’s name to get ahead in life. And I can’t think of anyone better to ask about that than Peter Doocy. Yes, wherever he is, Chris Wallace laughed at that joke.” […]

“Fox News is sort of like a waffle house. Yes, it’s relatively normal in the afternoon but as soon as the sun goes down, there’s a drunk lady named Jeanine threatening to fight every Mexican who comes in.” […]

“How about that Fox Primetime lineup, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham? Their coverage of COVID was really impactful. Their segments about vaccines moved their viewers – into the ICU.” […]

“Oh, Laura Ingraham. Wow. What can you say about her that hasn’t already been said by the antidefamation league?” […]

“Tucker Carlson, are you kidding me? That man is a beast. Who else could fill an entire show each night asking questions that Google could easily answer? Do vaccines work? Who really won the election? Who’s the president right now? Is this America? Gripping stuff.” […]

And there you have it. For the first time in six years America has a President who can laugh at himself; a President who isn’t afraid to give and take a few light-hearted punches; a President who doesn’t think the media is “the enemy of the people.”

You may have noticed that Biden didn’t say Trump’s name once. But that doesn’t mean that Trump won’t take offense. Taking offense is his resting attitude. It’s nearly twenty-four hours later and he hasn’t even mentioned the dinner or the jokes about him. So you know he’s privately seething. Poor baby.

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