On the heels of the announcement that Sarah Palin had edged out Glenn Beck for “Lie of the Year,” Beck has bounced back to nab the Media Matters honor of 2009 Misinformer of the Year.
This award caps a year of distinguished prevarication by an acknowledged master of the art. Beck has broken records for dishonesty with creative use of insinuation, hyperbole, conspiracy, insults, exaggeration, and paranoia induced hallucination.
Congratulations Glenn. You earned it.
Just when you thought hostilities were subsiding, Fox Nation is escalating the War on Christmas. Their new volley of seasonal aggression kicks off with insinuations questioning President Obama’s sincerity with regard to his faith:
So the Obama’s cards don’t mention Christmas. Well, that must mean they are secret Muslim after all. Except for…..Uh oh…..
Click to enlarge:
These are the “Holiday” cards sent out by George and Laura Bush in 2006, 2007, and 2008. None of them mention Christmas either. I wonder what religion the Bush’s belonged to secretly. I’m going to guess it’s the Snake Handlers. That would explain how they could work so closely with people like Cheney and Rove.
Conservative blowhards on Fox News and elsewhere have made a mantra out of taunting President Obama for avoiding Fox. They have repeatedly implied that if you’re afraid of Fox News how can you stand up to Iran or Al Qaeda.
Of course the answer is that no one is “afraid” of Fox. Choosing to refrain from submitting yourself to a disreputable tabloid that is overtly hostile to you and broadcasts more lies than truth is not fear, it’s common sense. Obama hasn’t accepted any interview requests from the National Enquirer or Rush Limbaugh’s fanzine either.
Yet no one on the right seems to be the least bit critical of Sarah Palin, whose current book tour has studiously avoided almost every national TV venue except for Fox. The non-Fox appearances were with notably entertainment focused hosts. So far she has visited with…
– Oprah Winfrey.
– Barbara Walters
– Sean Hannity
– Bill O’Reilly
– Greta Van Susteren
We can add Rush Limbaugh to that list and Gretchen Carlson of Fox & Fiends and, coming soon, Glenn Beck. This pattern of dodging all but the most friendly venues mirrors Palin’s behavior during the election season last year. She did not appear on a single Sunday news program for the duration of campaign, or since for that matter. She may be the most sheltered public figure in history.
Obviously she is afraid to encounter any questioner that has not been previously vetted and approved. Her handlers will not permit her to venture outside of her safety zone. This is all the more unusual considering that authors on book tours ordinarily crave attention and maximum exposure for the sake of book sales. But in Palin’s case, a decision has clearly been made to keep her cloistered amongst her congregation at Fox and well managed book signings.
One look at the photos on Palin’s Facebook page tell you something about her congregation. First of all, they are conspicuously white. I could not find a single face of color in the crowds. But one picture, more than all the others, truly illustrates Palin’s fan base:
The concerted effort to keep Palin circulating amongst devotees like this is paying off so far. She is selling boatloads of books and avoiding any unnecessary controversy. And despite shunning most of the media, they are still giving her plenty of press. That seems like a rather unfairly distributed arrangement. Perhaps it would be a better idea if they were to ignore her for as long as she ignores them. Why should the media serve as her PR agency when she treats them as if they don’t exist?
Sarah Palin may not be afraid of Fox News, but she is plainly afraid of everything else.
In a major announcement that will rattle the foundation of cable news, Fox News has announced that they are closing up shop and will end all broadcasting activities in the near future. The memo from Fox management that went out today was somewhat ambiguous as to timing, but the message was clear:
The specific language in the internal memo referenced the recent spate of “errors” made by presenters and production staff. These errors, which many believe were intentional, include airing videos of rallies with Tea Baggers and Sarah Palin that gave false impressions of attendance. Therefore, Fox announced a new “zero tolerance” policy for mistakes. The practical effect of such a policy, however, is to go dark. Given the voluminous quantity of mistakes and misstatements that are part and parcel of the culture of Fox News, it would be too costly and time consuming to keep up with the corrections.
Here is an example of the sloppy production work by Fox employees. It features a discussion of Sarah Palin’s new book, “Going Rogue” but displays a picture of a book critical of Palin called “Going Rouge.”
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It’s too bad they didn’t use this version of Palin’s book:
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The plan, according to the memo, is for Fox to scale down prior to signing off: And employees who fall short in the interim face serious repurcussions:
“[E]ffective immediately, Newsroom is going to “zero base” our newscast production. That means we will start by going to air with only the most essential, basic, and manageable elements.”
“Mistakes by any member of the show team that end up on air may result in immediate disciplinary action against those who played significant roles in the “mistake chain,” and those who supervise them. That may include warning letters to personnel files, suspensions, and other possible actions up to and including termination.”
In the event that Fox executives reconsider this decision, they will have their work cut out for them. Media Matters has documented many more Fox flubs. On the upside, without Fox promoting fringe characters like Palin and Glenn Beck, the Republican Party may recover from their association with the asylum crowd and the extremists who populate the rightist network.
This is just too delicious not to pass on. The uber-rightist magazine/web site, Newsmax, has been flapping hard for Sarah Palin since she fell from her nest in Alaska and took wing. They are presently hawking her new book as a free premium with a one year year subscription to their magazine. And if you don’t want a subscription, you can still buy the book for $4.95, a $25.00 discount from the retail price. Shipping and handling is $5.95, a dollar more than the book itself.
But here’s the fun part, Newsmax asked Palin about her future plans and specifically inquired as to whether she would entertain the idea of running on a ticket with Glenn Beck. They described it as their “dream ticket.” Palin’s response:
“I can envision a couple of different combinations, if ever I were to be in a position to really even seriously consider running for anything in the future, and I’m not there yet,” Palin tells Newsmax. “But Glenn Beck I have great respect for. He’s a hoot. He gets his message across in such a clever way. And he’s so bold – I have to respect that. He calls it like he sees it, and he’s very, very, very effective.”
That’s the dream ticket for NewsMax: Hockey Mom/Hoot 2012. I think it may be my dream ticket too.
It is about time that somebody takes on the embarrassing behavior of an American president supplicating himself to foreign leaders. The United States is a nation of superior values and goals. We must never show subservience to others, even as a measure of humility or respect. Leave it to the conservative media to put this critical issue front and center. We have already wasted too much time on trivialities like health care and war. It’s time to refocus on the issues that matter to America.
Thank you Fox Nation.
However, the Fox Nationalists seem to be having trouble keeping their War on Christmas alerts straight. Today they are featuring a story on this year’s War on Christmas: “Santa = Swastika? War On Christmas Begins In Massachusetts.” But on October 29, they posted this declaration: “War on Christmas Starts in KY.” I guess everyone wants credit for firing the first shot.
Update: The Fox Nationalists must not have thought their first slap at Obama for bowing (Again?) was hard enough. So the next day they took another swing (Our Most Embarrassing President?).
I assume they’ll just keep changing the headline until they find one that is sufficiently insulting. It would probably be a lot easier if they just went with “Obama Hates America” and used that for the headline of all of their biased, dishonest stories.
On the O’Reilly Factor yesterday, the big news was released that Bill O’Reilly and Glenn Beck will be taking to the road for a major entertainment event: The Bold & Fresh Tour.
It sounds like the launch of a new laundry detergent to me. But no – this is the Tea Bagger equivalent of the Grateful Dead. This national extravaganza will march across this great nation from Westbury, NY, to Tampa, FL, to North Charleston, SC, to Norfolk, VA to … well actually, that’s the whole thing. Four cities in seven days. It’s gonna be WILD! As it says on BoldFreshTour.com…
“It’s an event that makes professional wrestling seem like a night at the opera.”
Now that’s exciting! This will not be just another evening of inspiring music, compelling drama, extraordinary talent, and cultural enrichment. Hell no! It will be a sweaty brawl with two of America’s premiere purveyors of slack-jawed invective, spitting furiously at each other in their phony, choreographed dance of dimwitted arrogance. Either that or a Marx Brothers movie.
The announcement last night revealed the name of the tour as the Bold & Fresh Tour. Then the fireworks started as Beck pretended to be bothered by the fact that the tour was named for O’Reilly’s book instead of his own. I’m inclined to agree with Beck. They definitely should have used Beck’s book for the name of this tour. It is so much more accurate to promote this as the “Arguing With Idiots” tour. But that would have been a bit more honesty than this clod couple could muster.
Heed ye the call and come unto the word of FOX. Herewith are more revelations as revealed by Glenn Beck in the divine Gospel According to Beck*:
2:1) You’re gonna see a black and white world, man, that is nothing but destruction and ugly.
2:2) I don’t know why no one else will tell you the truth about these things. I don’t know and I don’t care. All I I know is they are all there. Embedded in each one of these bills, in plain sight.
2:3) Barack Obama and Congress are selling you a bill of goods. It is only when you take down the mask of sunshine and lollipops that you will see the real thing – the real image.
2:4) Destruction. These bills are creating the path to America’s destruction. How many months ago did I say “Please, please America, don’t debate, don’t compromise on these things.”.
2:5) There are things in these bills that you don’t even know. They’re building a machine and they’re about to turn the darn thing on. You don’t compromise on your destruction.
Once again, Beck is the only one who can see the danger that lies ahead. He is the only one with the courage to warn us that we are on a path to destruction. And you do not compromise on destruction. You do not even debate. It doesn’t matter if you know what you’re talking about. You do not need to know – or care. Just listen to Beck. He sees the things that are hidden in plain sight. He is your light and your guide.
* These are the actual words of Glenn Beck.
In another brilliantly conceived and executed parody, the Daily Show’s Jon Stewart has perfectly captured the dementia that is Glenn Beck. The wonder, the shock, the outrage, the tears, the megalomania, the obsession with impending doom. It’s all there in a hilarious send up of Beck’s traitorous appendix.
Everyday it gets harder and harder to satirize Beck. The patented Beck hysteria is so hysterical all on its own, that it takes a real comedy genius to expand on it. Stewart fits the bill. The only thing missing was a phone on his desk so Beck could call him to deny everything.
It was nice to see Stewart get out the blackboard. It makes everything so clear. It would have been nice if he had given me some credit. He must have seen my Glenn Beck Blackboard Challenge:
And it was also nice to see him raise the specter of Beck’s favorite political philosopher:
In other news, Beck’s appendix may not be the only thing that is threatening his life. It appears that the nurses attending Beck were probably members of the Service Employees International Union or (cue scary music) SEIU. As Beck watchers know, the SEIU is an organization that Beck regards as thugs and communists bent on destroying American civilization. They are one and the same as ACORN. They are traitors and defilers of virtue. And they are the union that represents the nurses of every major hospital in the vicinity of where Beck was when his appendix declared independence. I’m not sure I would want to be cared for by people whom I had frequently slandered as Mao loving deviants. Luckily for Beck, these nurses are professional and ethical and wouldn’t think of carrying out a vendetta on a patient who hates them.
Thanks to Fox News honcho Michael Clemente, who revealed that Your World with Neil Cavuto is not a news program, we can now evaluate the program for what it is. Clemente explicitly left out Cavuto’s program when he said that Fox’s news schedule is from 9:00am to 4:00pm and 6:00pm to 8:00pm. Cavuto’s show starts at 4:00pm.
So what can we say about this entertainment/opinion hour? Well, for one thing, Cavuto seems to regard himself as a humorist. He spends at least as much time cracking what he thinks are jokes as he does yelling at, and interrupting, his guests. He closes every program with a “Common Sense” essay that he stuffs with lame puns. I guess that’s why they call him a pundit. (Oh damn. Now I’m doing it).
But that isn’t really what’s at the core of his act. When we look closely, it is clear that Cavuto has a deep appreciation for stunts and props. That would make him a threat to the reigning master of prop comedy, Carrot Top.
Some recent examples include his interviews with guests who had nothing substantive to contribute to any public debate, but were coincidentally engaged in some field of work that Cavuto found relevant. For instance, he brought in a Cadillac dealer when discussing a proposed tax on generous employer sponsored health plans that were being called “Cadillac Plans.” Of course, the dealer had no particular expertise in insurance policy or taxation, but he did have a big chunk of real estate with some GM cars parked on it. Another example was Cavuto’s dialogue with the CEO of AstroTurf Technologies. This non-illuminating discussion was sparked by the question of whether organizers of Tea Party events were really grassroots citizen groups or well-funded lobbyists and foundations. Once again, nothing in this segment advanced understanding of the issue because the AstroTurf chief’s experience had more to do with synthetic fiber products than with campaign development and event planning.
In addition to Cavuto’s unique selection of irrelevant guests, he also plotted some pathetic stunts. For several days Cavuto was obsessed with Democrats who were holding meetings “behind closed doors.” Cavuto couldn’t get over the fact that there were doors and that they weren’t open. He seems to think that Democrats are obligated to allow Republicans and Fox News into private caucus meetings. Does he also think that Democrats should have free access to Republican caucus gatherings? Cavuto’s response was to invite Mr. Handyman to the show. Mr. Handyman demonstrated some techniques for keeping doors open, like wedge stoppers. On another occasion, Cavuto played clips of Dora the Explorer when President Obama declined to be interviewed by Cavuto or others at Fox. I still don’t know what point that was supposed to be making, but Cavuto was clearly hurt that the President had snubbed him.
But the piece de resistance was hiring a speed reader to plow through the voluminous health care bill. His apparent intent was to draw attention to the sheer size of the bill. So he has the world’s faster speed reader inhabit a little box in the corner of the screen where viewers can watch him discard pages unto the floor at about a second per page. Unfortunately for Cavuto, this prank doesn’t really help his argument. First of all, it is another pointless exercise because, although this fellow can read fast, he can’t contribute any informed analysis after having consumed the bill. He is not a doctor or a lawyer or a health policy expert of any kind.
However, the big failure on Cavuto’s part is that the only thing his shenanigans accomplished was to demonstrate how quickly the bill could be read. The speed reader completed his task in less than an hour. Even if someone else took ten times as long, it proves that it could easily be done in a day or two. And if it were split up between several staffers with specific areas of expertise, it could be done even faster. So the length of the bill is really pretty easy to digest. I also have to wonder what Cavuto’s alternative is. Would he prefer a short bill of a dozen or so pages? It seems to me that that would be a recipe for legislative disaster as it could not possibly anticipate the myriad complexities of a major health care system overhaul.
None of that matters, though, if your goal is simply to amuse, and to pull goofy props out of a steamer trunk. That’s the level of understanding that Cavuto is presenting to his audience. And since his audience is made of people who watch Fox, he’s probably still a little over their heads.
