It’s that time of year again. The annual Conservative Political Action Cult (CPAC) is holding their right-wing revival meeting at the Gaylord National Resort & Convention Center in Prince George’s County, Maryland. Make up your own jokes about the party of homophobes gathering at the “Gaylord.”
Naturally, Donald Trump will once again be their keynote speaker because who else better represents the pitiful paucity of CPAC principles than the twice-impeached, pathologically lying, septuagenarian toddler, and former reality TV game show host, Donald Joyful Trump?
“I will be at CPAC on Saturday, talking about the fact that, obviously, our Country is going to ‘HELL,’ and how to fix it. Also, the Democrats use of Radical Left Prosecutors and the WEAPONIZATION OF LAW ENFORCEMENT.”
What an inspiring theme around which to shape the message of his candidacy for the 2024 Republican Party nomination for president. It’s reminiscent of his brutally bleak 2016 “American Carnage” inaugural address. It also builds on the ideas he presented in his 2024 announcement speech last November that was so well received by anti-American doomsayers everywhere:
That announcement rant by Trump was typically riddled with lies, self-exaltation, and infantile insults. And despite the massive dose of melodrama, it was painfully dull. Trump was at his dystopian worst, warning of an America that is plagued by “blood-soaked streets” in “cesspool cities.” And now it is going to hell, a warning he has issued many times before.
As for CPAC, it is said to be suffering from Trump Fatigue Syndrome. Many conference regulars of the past are skipping the affair this year. And those that are attending are especially fringy and unabashedly Trumpian. Which leaves the event calendar looking pretty dull…
OUT: Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis, Virginia Gov. Glenn Youngkin, Republican National Committee Chair Ronna McDaniel, and former Vice President Mike Pence
IN: Sean Spicer, Donald Trump Jr, his fiancée Kimberly Guilfoyle, and GOP Reps. Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ronny Jackson, Jim Jordan, Scott Perry, Elise Stefanik, as well as failed Arizona gubernatorial candidate Kari Lake and MyPillow Guy Mike Lindell.
So get your tickets soon if you’re worried about missing the crackpot convention of the season. It’s sure to be the gaslit gala to remember.
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