EXCLUSIVE: Fox News Signs George Zimmerman As Host: “Stand Your Ground” Premieres This Fall

Now that the jury has delivered a “not guilty” verdict for teen stalker/killer George Zimmerman, Fox News has taken a bold move to extend the ratings bonanza of the trial into the fall television season.

George Zimmerman
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Sources inside Fox News have confirmed that Zimmerman has agreed to host a nightly crime and social affairs program on the network that is set to premiere in October 2013. The controversial signing is consistent with Fox’s programming philosophy of exploiting the transient publicity of media spectacles by drafting the beneficiaries of inordinate press attention, despite a lack of experience or qualifications – e.g. Sarah Palin.

The preliminary format for the Zimmerman program is said to consist of segments analyzing breaking crime dramas such as murderous spouses, kidnapped sorority girls, celebrity arrests, high-speed police chases, and any stray rumors involving presidential sex scandals. Fox News contributor, and noted racist ex-cop, Mark Fuhrman, will have a regular spot on the panel segment to offer his expertise in undermining criminal prosecutions with racial epithets. In that respect Fuhrman, who famously extolled the virtues of the “N” word, shares common ground with Zimmerman who regards innocent black teenagers walking through his neighborhood as “fucking punks.”

Fox News CEO Roger Ailes welcomed Zimmerman to the network saying “We could not be more excited by having such a strong advocate of law enforcement on our team. George’s unique insight and commitment to safe neighborhoods and the preservation of the Second Amendment will connect with our audience and inspire Americans to stand their ground.” Ailes also said that Zimmerman will have a role on the Fox Nation web site where they specialize in flagrant lies, a skill Zimmerman has already demonstrated a knack for.

Zimmerman’s new colleagues at Fox are also anxious to work with him. Sean Hannity, who gave Zimmerman his first platform on cable TV, praised his keen instincts and predicted that his hair-trigger analysis and spin on reality will surprise many. Bill O’Reilly is looking forward to lunching with Zimmerman at Sylvia’s. And Geraldo Rivera lauded Zimmerman’s critical eye on fashion that he hopes will put an end to the trendy adoption of thug-wear that has resulted in so much unnecessary bloodshed.

Hoodies

The addition of George Zimmerman to the Fox lineup is a good fit to shore up both their editorial mission and their audience appeal. They are already receiving rave reviews from the NRA and the Tea Party. Throughout the trial Fox demonstrated an overt favoritism for Zimmerman and the prospects of his acquittal. Now, with his new assignment, he will make Fox the first and only network to feature a host who has actually snuffed out the life of an innocent American. And the icing on the cake is that the victim was black and almost certainly not a Fox viewer.

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39 thoughts on “EXCLUSIVE: Fox News Signs George Zimmerman As Host: “Stand Your Ground” Premieres This Fall

  1. Please don’t give them any ideas.

  2. You are doing this site a disservice if you make these false claims.

    • The article is clearly marked as humor/satire!!

  3. Fox is so twisted this is almost plausible- well done- but please fix a mistake- I believe you want “e.g.” (which means, “for example”, as opposed to “I.e.”, which means, “that is.” Unless of course, you meant “that is,” but I think you meant “for example,” yes? Cheers!

    • Thanks for the correction. I do that too, but it’s probably hopeless.

  4. Well – I’ll agree that Justin Bieber has it coming.. πŸ˜‰

    • And you beat me to it!! I was hoping it was a joke, then I saw “Sponsored by Skittles”. Whew!!

  5. This verdict must be really bothering you – you progressive types just couldn’t get the results you want so now you’re on a mission to malign anything and anyone you can to make yourself feel better. You have a unique way of getting the demons out – sad (or happy if you feel better after you purge). 3 articles on this subject (ie Trayvon Martin) in rapid succession – pretty efficient, hope you’re feeling better. Are you shaking with anger when you type these???

    • It kind of like you “CONSERVITIVE TYPES” with President Obama did not get the results you want and will not anytime soon. but Steve this is a human life we are talking about and you know dam well if he was a white kid you “CONSERVITIVE TYPES” would be all over it probably blaming the President in some fashion.

      • No…this is about justice – we had a trial – and it appears to have been an honest trial – with facts laid out except the result wasn’t what progressives expected or wanted. In the end – a teen is dead, parents are suffering and as a parent I’m sad for them, not for your lot. You hate how this turned out – and it was done by a justice system that appears to have done its job exactly as it should. You can’t make this into some other kind of issue to change society as you want – it’s a failure for progressives, which is a sad statement in itself because you don’t give a damn about the victim or his parents, all you care about is that you just the lost opportunity for progressive social change.

        • “…a failure for progressives?…don’t give a damn about the victim or his parents?”

          Get some help, Steve. Your dementia is getting severe.

          • Mark….Wow what a great rebuttal to (Steve in Yorks) point by point logical statement about the FACTS of the situation. These Forums provide endless entertainment… listening to your weak, baseless arguments shines such a bright light on your susceptibility to these race baiters at MSNBC and the networks. What sheep you are!

        • That verdict was only right based on what happened once the fight started, a fight that Zimmerman precipitated and could have avoided had he refrained from following Trayvon and waited for the police. He was playing vigilante. Once the fight started, yes, Zimmerman was in a fight for his life. Who can tell us that Trayvon did not think he was fighting for his also? It has nothing to do with political affiliation, Steve. If it had been a white boy killed by a black man following him, the entire situation would have been different. There would not have been thousands of dollars donated for his defense and he would not have been acquitted of all charges.

          • we wouldn’t have been on the news or covered by the media in any form either

        • Hey and justice was also served with OJ too, right?

          • That was at steve in york, came out below Karen Thimmel

            • Eventually it was…he lost in the civil trial and ended in prison for an unrelated crime. Boy those riots in the streets by all those whites after OJ was acquitted where something else huh? O yeah what riots!

    • They had to find him not guilty because of a law that says someone who is in danger of his life can defend himself. Since Zimmerman was obviously scared after chasing down this kid and jumping on him, that the Skittles were going to jump down his throat and choke him, he had every right to shoot the kid.

    • This verdict only goes to show what happens when corporations are allowed to write our laws. All of the so called “stand your ground” laws were written by ALEC, and thus written by the NRA. The law being so vague is why the jury was able to reach this verdict, and that’s exactly what they wanted. That way it can be interpreted in almost any way, making any charges ever brought subject to the to the fear and discrimination, subconscious or conscious, everybody knows occurs within all jurys, in all courtrooms every single day.

      The only way a law written by an industry (and in this case, a bunch of wackos) get passed is by them being able to buy the politicians they need to get it passed, and sneaking it into completely unrelated legislation, if need be, to hide their true intentions. In the end, this innocent boy is dead and a killer goes free for the singular reason of selling more guns and more bullets. Congratulations, Steve, on supporting/voting for the morons who have sold this country out to corporate interests.

      • The only racist here was Treyvon “creepy ass cracker”. Someone following you doesn’t give you the right to commit felony assault. Had he survived the shooting he should’ve been charged with assault and prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law.

        • That’s IF Trayvon assaulted him at all, which NOBODY knows to be true. How do you know Zimmerman didn’t chase him down and assault Trayvon? You DON’T. That piece of shit cop wanna-be was caught in more than a few lies during that video walk through of his crime. You’re just stupid enough to believe him. Zimmerman was on the neighborhood watch. Martin lived IN THE NEIGHNORHOOD when he was at his father’s. It was Zimmerman’s job to PROTECT him, NOT shoot him, you idiot!

          • Aaah the ever predictable Liberal retort..name calling, bold text, asserting assumptions that are clearly and completely false i.e. “NOBODY knows to be true”…One word Timeline! And assaulted Trayvon?…The injuries suggesting that were what? And just so we crush everyone of your weak points, Trayvon was temporarily staying in the gated community with his father and Zimmerman had in fact lived there for 3 yrs. As one of the reasonable jurors put it “I think both were responsible for the situation they had gotten themselves into,”…So should I add random childlike slur here? idiot! Please keep the liberal mouth frothing continuing, I just cant buy this kind of entertainment πŸ™‚

            • First of all, I didn’t assert anything, and certainly nothing that is false. I stated the obvious fact that we don’t know exactly what happened because the only story we have is from a known and proven liar. He lived there three years but had to get out of the car because he didn’t know the street name? Give me a break. Even you couldn’t be so stupid as not to know the name of one of only three streets in your own neighborhood.

              The role of any neighborhood watch is observe and report. That’s it. Nothing more. Not chase down an unarmed kid and shoot him because you want to act like you’re somebody with any kind of authority, because you’re not.

              The bold text was for your benefit because I know 99% of conservatives have quite a bit of trouble in the area of reading comprehension.

              But I’m sorry to hurt your delicate little feelings. Maybe you’re not an idiot. A racist moron who thinks he knows it all, for sure, but possibly not an idiot. I mean, there’s a huge probability you are, but possibly not.

              Now run along sonny boy, the adults are talking.

            • Nic speaks the truth. Tom can only respond with a temper tantrum.

  6. Is this a serious article? Wow FOX newz just keeps gtetting more obscene.

    • Your inability to immediately know that the story is a fake just prove how gullible you sheep are……

  7. How about a TV miniseries, The Rush Limbaugh Story starring George Zimmerman ?

  8. I realize this is just sarcasm and satire, but I don’t think the maker of Skittles would appreciate the negative light this puts them in. The word ‘sponsored’ is a strong word that directly ties the sponsor’s name to whatever they are sponsoring. I would suggest considering that a better – and more realistic – sponsor would be the NRA.

    I’m sure the last thing you want or need is to have to deal with Skittles’ lawyers.

  9. I think that considering the severity of this topic making such a joke about it is really in bad taste……Don’t get me wrong….I like a joke as much as the next person…but this is a bit much

  10. You slay me, man! You slay me! This is the funniest site and Zimmers story I have seen. Beats out all others for good clean fun.

  11. Just poking at the newz media. After FOX hired Palin nothing about Fox would surprise me.

  12. With your ongoing permission, Mark, I’m posting the link to this item on Media Matters where our trolls are all but certain to take it literally. Gallows humor is all we have after this latest insult to our American soul.

  13. I’m reading Steve in NYC and Nic I’m overwhelmed by the ignorance, not the political ignorance but factual know-nothingness. As a liberal who values the Constitution and the autonomous state laws, I am glad Zimmerman got off. Florida law makes it impossible to convict in these circumstances because the jury is (and was reminded in the Trayvon Martin case) that this state a stand your ground law (SYG) and that, unlike almost every other state, demands that the prosecutor prove it WASN’T self defense rather than the more common burden of self defense being on the accused. Many have said that this case doesn’t involve the SYG law, but why, then, did the judge instruct the jury to consider this aspect? In most places a presumption of culpability is placed on someone using deadly force. If there are any circumstance the shooter could have pursued to avoid the confrontation he is guilty of manslaughter. If Zimmerman had stayed in his car and let the police handle the situation, an unarmed black youth wouldn’t have been shot. But I repeat that is not Florida law and Zimmerman should have been acquitted by the letter of the law. But as Dickens wrote, sometimes the law is an ass. I may be of the liberal mindset but I image even social conservatives who use words like “thug” would have a hard time reconciling a verdict handed down the same day as the Zimmerman verdict: a mother of two, in her garage, threatened by her husband, shot two warning shots to discourage physical abuse. No injuries. This black woman was sentenced, in the same state as Zimmerman was acquitted to 20 years in prison. This is a state that was instrumental in enacting SYG laws, and here a black woman, in a situation specifically inspiring that law, is found culpable of scaring but not killing with a gun. The law in Florida is broken and anyone who says a part of that failure isn’t motivated by racial bias is an idiot pure and simple. All evidence is contrary to the “blacks get everything and now the white race is suffering reverse racism”, which by the was is the kind of whiny treacle you expect from a favored class.

  14. I’d just like to add that whatever the laws, Zimmerman’s actions are responsible for Martin’s death, PERIOD. Anyone, statesman, pundit, blog commentator, facebook hack, FOX news pretend Al Capone vault hacker, who blames Martin for the events is racist. No maybe, but most definitely. If Martin made that walk and Mr. Z, the wannabe cop, stayed home and watched Police Academy 2″ for the twentieth time, Martin would be alive, thug hoodie and skittles or no. He’d be alive. Go ahead and protest how you have black friends and everything, you’re racist.

  15. NIC is an idiot who likes to use big words so he sounds more intellectual …the BOY lived in he community with his father and father’s gf. He had every right to be therr and walk through there, no.matter what time it was. He called him a creepy ass cracker because thats the way he felt at the tine…just like George thought he was one of those “punks that always get away” and a nigger as he voiced on his disoatched 911 call. He profiled him and assumed he was one of those criminals. I dont believe he was “on his way to Target” when he decided to folow Tray around. What would any of you have done if u were 16 and some strange guy starts following u in the dark? Maybe some of you dont know what its like to have not lived in.affluent

  16. NIC is an idiot who likes to use big words so he sounds more intellectual …the BOY lived in he community with his father and father’s gf. He had every right to be therr and walk through there, no.matter what time it was. He called him a creepy ass cracker because thats the way he felt at the tine…just like George thought he was one of those “punks that always get away” and a nigger as he voiced on his disoatched 911 call. He profiled him and assumed he was one of those criminals. I dont believe he was “on his way to Target” when he decided to folow Tray around. What would any of you have done if u were 16 and some strange guy starts following u in the dark? Maybesome of you dont know what its like to have not lived in.affluent neighborhoods so dont know what it feels like to feel like u have to protect yourself. Lets also not forget that our inability to recognize racism when it occurs only solifies the fact that there is still racism strongly prevalent in this country. Lets also not forget that this guy was aqquitted by 5 white women and one latina…not one black person on the jury, nor no Trayvon to tell and defend his side of the story. GZ was caught in numerous lies during his videoed re-enactmet. The guy is a child killer. It didt play itself out right in the trial. But karma is a bitch and he will get whats coming to him in due time.

    • Big words? I love being told how stupid I am by somebody who misspelled every 5th word in their post. Hilarious….oops was that word too big?? If you want to remember something remember this the prosecutors also picked and approved this jury, but they are all just a bunch of bigots and racist…right? The puss filed liberal stupidity is just more than I can take here, later suckers. Thanks for the free entertainment!

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