This Is Joe The Plumber Reporting From Israel

The highly anticipated debut installment of war correspondent Joe the Plumber has been filed and is ripping apart the fabric of the journalistic community. For someone who was ridiculed for not having the experience or skills to perform as a reporter, Joe showed his critics that he should not be underestimated with profound declarations like this:

“I have thousands of questions but I can’t think of the right one.”

That should put to rest any notion of his being unqualified. And to demonstrate that he was precisely the right choice to represent the “Average Joe” in Israel, J the P offers a sympathetic observation of life in a battle zone:

“I’m sure they’re taking quick showers,” he said. “I know I would.”

Now that’s a real plumber’s perspective. How can the elitists of the mainstream media, with their fancy college degrees in journalism and their years of experience, compete with insight like that? In fact the media is at a big disadvantage when it comes to Joe because, as he says himself, he came to this vocation as:

“…an expert on media bias. I was on the short end of the stick [just like Israel].”

And he’s using his “expertise” wisely. The bulk of his time in Israel appears to have been spent posing in picturesque tableaus of billowing smoke miles off in the Gazan distance, and in junk yards examining scrap metal collected from used Hamas rockets. Pajamas Media must be proud to have him as their correspondent relaying these vital stories back to the American public. Money well spent.

This Just In – VIDEO!

Joey The P: I’ll be honest with you. I don’t think journalists should be anywhere allowed war [sic]. I mean, you guys report where our troops are at. You report what’s happening day to day. You make a big deal out of it. I think it’s asinine. You know, I liked back in World War I and World War II when you’d go to the theater and you’d see your troops on, you know, the screen and everyone would be real excited and happy for ’em. Now everyone’s got an opinion and wants to downer-and down soldiers. You know, American soldiers or Israeli soldiers.

I think media should be abolished from, uh, you know, reporting. You know, war is hell. And if you’re gonna sit there and say, “Well look at this atrocity,” well you don’t know the whole story behind it half the time, so I think the media should have no business in it.

Oh my FREAKING God! PJ believes – and actually said aloud – that the media should be “abolished” from “uh, you know, reporting.” He complains that they don’t know the whole story, as opposed to his encyclopedic knowledge of the Middle East, Jewish and Muslim cultures, and the language and history of the region. And he pines for the newsreels of WWI that were nothing more than propaganda and that he has probably never seen.

He thinks it’s asinine to make a big deal out of a little thing like WAR! What’s asinine is his accusations of the media disclosing troop movements. If that happened they would be prosecuted. That’s how little Joe knows about reporting from a war zone. And despite his disparagement of government, he thinks that it should be able to operate without the interference of an independent press corps.

His lament that “everyone’s got an opinion” is especially ironic considering that that is the only thing that his moronic ranting consists of – absolutely zero substance. He’s even stupider than I thought. Somebody get him out of there before he gets someone, or himself, killed.

More Joe: “You don’t need to see what’s happening every day. […] I think the military should decide what information to give the media and then the media can release it to the public.”