Former Fox News anchor and Prophet of Doom, Glenn Beck, has made many predictions in his long career of radio buffoonery. He has foretold of stock market crashes and election victories and global Caliphates and, most frequently, the end of this world that God hates so bitterly (see The Perfect Storm: A Glenn Beck Delusion). Obviously, Glenn Beck has it all figured out.
And now the psycho psychic has a new prediction with which to tantalize and frighten his dimwitted followers. In a rambling discussion of Donald Trump’s prospects for securing the Republican nomination, Beck (who has endorsed Ted Cruz) has had a vision of a dark future that only he could see. It projects a terrifying union of two camps that Beck is certain are rooted in Hell. This is what he forecast on his program yesterday:
“You will see Donald Trump, if he loses the nomination – and he doesn’t start a third party which I don’t think he will – you will see Donald Trump run, er campaign with, Hillary Clinton.”
That’s right brothers and sisters. The two most evil representatives of Satan will merge their crusades to deliver America to the devil’s door. Never mind that Trump has called Clinton “the worst Secretary of State in U.S. history.” Or that he berates her for unethically honoring her marriage vows and restoring her relationship with a fornicator. Or that he blames her personally for murdering four Americans in Benghazi. Or that he has called for her to be jailed because of email activity that was not illegal. Or his most recent attacks on her honesty wherein he said that her whole lie is a lie.
Despite all of that, Beck thinks that if Trump is denied his GOP crown he will rush to Clinton’s side and support her for president. Beck explains his theory by asserting that Trump will be angry over the GOP nomination having been stolen from him. And since he could not possibly back Lyin’ Ted Cruz, his only other choice is Clinton. Beck went on to claim that Clinton and Trump are basically aligned on policies, a claim for which he never bothered to provide evidence. But that isn’t important because the main reason they will join forces is because Trump has already bought and paid for Clinton, as proven by her attendance at his third wedding eleven years ago.
Beck was not completely oblivious to the factors that would make this pairing absurd. He admitted that Trump has “said, obviously, things about Hillary that were negative in this campaign,” but that he has “no allegiance to what he said last week. He’ll just switch and say Hillary Clinton is good now and Ted Cruz is bad.” Of course, Beck never realizes that Trump could do exactly the same thing for Cruz and back him instead of Clinton without having to dirty himself with the socialists in the Democratic Party.
One component of this theory that Beck left out entirely is that Hillary Clinton would laugh so hard at the notion of Trump seeking to support her candidacy that she might rupture a lung. Perhaps that is the dastardly plan that is lurking below the surface of this whole affair. It’s a plot to murder Clinton by a fit of fatal hilarity. Clinton would sooner run with Spongebob Squarepants than Donald Trump. After all, she actually wants to win.
Beck must be getting desperate for new conspiracies and deranged prophesies to disseminate to his glassy-eyed audience. If he is settling for absurdities like this, that is the clearest sign yet that the End Times are upon us – or at least upon Beck.
How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.