For anyone who was not previously convinced that Bill O’Reilly has the most acutely inflated ego on the planet, he has generously settled this question for us in a new interview with Newsweek:
Bill O’Reilly: I have more power than anybody other than the president, in the sense that I can get things changed, quickly. I don’t have to go through the legislative process; I don’t have to do any of that. I can just bring it to the people, and say, look, this has gotta be dealt with.
There you have it. In terms of unfettered power to affect change in this world the order is…
- President Barack Obama
- Bill O’Reilly
I think the remainder of the top five would be George Soros, Kim Kardashian, and, tying for fifth, Jon Stewart and Ronald Reagan’s ghost.
It would be interesting to hear O’Reilly explain how he arrived at this perspective of his own near omnipotence. After all, his cable news program averages less than three million viewers a night (for comparison, NBC Nightly News pulls in almost nine million). The number of issues on which his impact was a primary factor comes to approximately zero. That’s not to say that he has had no impact at all.
O’Reilly did launch a boycott of France that, according to his reference to a publication called the “Paris Business Review,” cost the nation billions of dollars. That’s a pretty remarkable feat except for the fact that France’s imports to the U.S. actually increased during the alleged O’Reilly boycott, and there is no evidence that the Paris Business Review exists.
Additionally, O’Reilly can take some credit for the murder of Dr. George Tiller, whom he repeatedly called “Tiller the Baby Killer.”
While O’Reilly’s impact on world affairs is negligible at best, his capacity for taking credit for events he had nothing to do with is extraordinary. He has patted himself on the back for everything from lowering gas prices to Bill Moyers’ retirement from television (look out Bill, he’s baaaack). He has been a stalwart general in the War Christmas, and in a rare moment of honesty, he took credit for the collapse of journalistic standards (I’ll give him that one).
The obvious question upon learning the magnitude of his influence is, with all of that power why hasn’t he resolved any of our nation’s problems? Why are we still mired in recession? Where are the jobs? Why is the planet still warming? How does Ahmadinejad retain power in Iran? And what ever happened to Natalie Holloway? Or has O’Reilly actually been exercising his power by having created all of those problems to begin with? A frightening thought.
And speaking of Natalee Holloway, where exactly are Jimmy Hoffa’s remains? Huh, Bill?
He is exercising his power to pay off the police and hire private investigators to tag his wife.
Maybe he is exercising his power of mojo to snag another mistress, that scion of morals.
Wow! That’s all you can say. O’reilly has a personality that would have fit in well in the Nazi SS. He is an absolute creep.
Bill’Os real power is in his intestinal gas.
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