Signs of Dementia? Trump Bashes the Mueller Report He Hasn’t Read But Says Exonerates Him

One of the things that Donald Trump is most fixated on is his insistence that he is superior in every way to anyone on any matter. (see the video below) He has the best words, knows more about war than his generals, and gets the biggest crowds. That’s a textbook symptom of Malignant Narcissism, which many psychiatric professionals are convinced he suffers from. And those experts are worried that he’s getting worse every day.

Donald Trump

On this particular day Trump is providing ample evidence that his mental condition is seriously deteriorating. But he will be pleased to hear that he’s more nuts than any president in American history. In his regularly scheduled Saturday tweetstorm, the President fired off a flurry of utterly inane and contradictory tweets that should make all Americans concerned. The subject was a familiar one: The Russia Witch Hunt Hoax. He simply can’t control his outbursts about this, and for good reason. The more we learn, the more it’s apparent that Trump is guilty of both conspiracy and obstruction of justice. Even the senior legal analyst at Fox News agrees with House Intelligence Committee Chairman, Adam Schiff, that there is evidence of Trump’s collusion and obstruction.

In his latest rage-tweeting fit, Trump was tightly focused on the credibility of special counsel Robert Mueller and what he might have concluded in his final report. Even though he has a biased Attorney General that he planted in the Justice Department, Trump is obviously still frightened and desperate. But his complaints are a hodge-podge of whining, self-vindication, and insults.

The most striking part of this Twitter rant is that Trump is flailing in all directions at once. He admits that he hasn’t read the report, but also asserts that it exonerated hm. And while he’s basking in what he considers a decree of innocence, he also maligns the Mueller, the author of the alleged decree. What follows are the five tweets (so far) that Trump posted with the intention of clearing himself, but only making things worse:


Really? A hoax that has already produced hundreds of indictments, several guilty verdicts, and the disclosure of dozens of contacts between Trump and his associates that they all lied about prior to eventually admitting it.


Indeed, no one outside the top ranks of William Barr’s office have read the report. So no one can credibly assert that they know the conclusions of a 400 page report based on a biased four page summary.


First of all, the asset forfeitures from just Paul Manafort alone more than pay for the entire investigation. And if Trump is so concerned about what the Democrats think, why doesn’t he just release the full report that he says proves his innocence?


Here Trump is trying again to shift blame to Hillary Clinton, despite the fact that she had no impact on what Mueller concluded. And he takes another swipe at the team of investigators that he says cleared him.


What must never happen again is for America to elect a president who was so obviously tied to Russian agents and oligarchs for his political and financial benefit.

The spectacle of Trump being so fiercely critical of an investigative team that he claims proved his innocence is more than curious. It’s alarming from the perspective of his mental health. He is a man who both viciously condemns Mueller and pays tribute to him as having “acted honorably.” He’s like a Nobel prize winner who insults the Nobel committee as corrupt idiots for awarding him the prize. And having someone with that degree of mental illness running the country is absurd and dangerous.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

And for your entertainment (?) pleasure, here are “24 Things Nobody Does Better Than Trump (According To Trump).”

Diamond and Silk Embarrass Themselves and Fox News (Again) with Their Ignorant Views and Demeanor

With all of the smarmy characters who populate Fox News, it is often difficult to focus on who stands out the most for their flagrant idiocy and boorishness. Is it Sean Hannity, personal friend and shadow chief of staff to Donald Trump? Is it the leader of Fox’s White Nationalist Brigade, Tucker Carlson? Do the Fox and Friends crew have an advantage due to the number of blowhards concentrated in one program?

Diamond and Silk, Fox News

No doubt about it, the competition is fierce. But there are a couple of less prominent players who ceaselessly strive to outperform the the big shots at Fox News. The unintentional comedy duo of Diamond and Silk bring their “A” game every time they make an appearance. So long as the “A” stands for “asinine.” They are favorites of Trump who retweets them at every opportunity. And they outdid themselves on Friday morning while visiting the “Curvy Couch” potatoes of Fox and Friends.

The segment started off with a slur directed at Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (AOC), who noted that the battle over climate change was not dissimilar to the civil rights battles of the past. Both involved people struggling to change the entrenched attitudes in society and government that were suppressing necessary change. But Diamond and Silk didn’t see it quite that way. they immediately lashed out at AOC saying…

“Listen, you have to realize that Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, she’s reckless, she’s clueless, and she have a vacuous mindset. First of all, civil rights have nothing to do with climate change. First of all.”

OK. First of all, reckless, clueless, and vacuous are registered trademarks of Diamond and Silk Industries. But more to the point, that isn’t what AOC said. She wasn’t comparing the substance of the issues. She was comparing the struggles to educate people and effect change. However, although AOC wasn’t addressing it, there are areas where civil rights and climate change do intersect. Just ask anyone who lives in a low income community where government often places its biggest polluting industries. But Diamond (who does most of the talking while Silk nods and interjects “That’s right,” every few seconds) continued:

And then second of all, her Green New Deal is a green new scam that we must stay away from. Now, I know that she’s worried about climate change, but she need to talk to Mother Nature. Because with the Earth rotating at 1,000 miles per hour, OK, 365 days of the year, we subject to feel climate changing a little bit. But not to the tune where we have to dismantle everything and start the Earth back over again. It’s a absolutely no for us.”

It appears that she is defining climate change as the temperature variations between night and day. That’s the generous explanation for these crackpot comments. In reality, she’s just foaming at the mouth and spitting out irrelevancies that have no real meaning. They certainly aren’t descriptive of anything resembling the science of Earth’s climate. She closed this subject by somehow segueing to an accusation that Democrats are the party that opposes civil rights. Never mind that the Klan and other hate groups have universally endorsed Trump and his GOP.

Later in the segment the hosts played a clip of Beto O’Rourke pointing out the racist overtones that have been embedded in Trump’s policies and are central to his speeches. This spurred the Fox duo to declare that O’Rourke’s remarks reminded them of a slave owner because he supports humane immigration reform. Don’t even bother trying to figure that one out.

What’s most puzzling is that Fox News invites these members of their “news” contributor staff to offer an analysis of issues they obviously know nothing about. That’s something that Fox does frequently whether the topic is climate change or immigration or economics or national security. Somehow Diamond and Silk have impressed Fox’s editors and producers as experts on virtually every subject. So they are featured on multiple shows where they do their tired clown act that consists almost entirely of personal slurs and amens as if they were insult comics who became holy roller evangelists.

It’s old news that Fox is the home of bigoted hate mongers and right-wing propagandists. But it’s still somewhat surprising that they have allowed these two cringeworthy Trump-fluffers to overtake so much of their airtime. It’s a concession that they have given up any pretense as being an informational enterprise and are now openly embracing their role as a lowbrow entertainment medium. Which will make things even easier for their production staff. They never really cared much for doing research or fact-checking. And now they can dispense with it altogether.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Bernie Sanders Tells The Daily Show that He ‘Knows Fox News’ – Then Proves that He Doesn’t

The upcoming 2020 election is going to be at least a twenty ring circus. And the media will be serving as the Master of Ceremonies. Prominently featured in this extravaganza will be Fox News, who will make it their business to defend Donald Trump at every turn, while viciously and dishonestly attacking his critics.

Bernie Sanders, Fox News

The Democratic National Committee made a wise decision not to let Fox News host any of their primary debates. Seeing as how Fox relentlessly maligns Democrats in the most despicable terms, it never made sense to consider them as debate partners. And on top of their constant smear campaigns, Fox’s audience is irredeemably hostile to the Democratic Party and its candidates.

So it was disconcerting to learn that Bernie Sanders has agreed to participate in a town hall on Fox News. There is absolutely no conceivable benefit to be realized by helping Fox News to belittle him, his ideas, and his (for the time being) party. Sanders appeared on The Daily Show Thursday night to defend his decision (video below). It didn’t go particularly well. The segment began with Trevor Noah asking why Sanders would go on Fox News after the DNC so righteously denounced them. He replied:

Trust me, I know Fox News. I know who they are and I know the role that they are playing. On the other hand, during the last campaign I did a town meeting with a fellow named Bret Baier who did it pretty fairly. He did it straightforwardly, and believe me, we went over the ground rules before and they kept their word. So to me it is important to distinguish Fox News from the many millions of people who watch Fox News.

Okay. Here’s the first problem. If Sanders really knew who Fox News is and what role they play, he wouldn’t be impressed with Baier’s pretense of fairness. No one thinks that whoever hosts the Fox town hall is going to bare his teeth and bark at Sanders like Sean Hannity or Jeanine Pirro would. But those characters would use the program as source material for their smear campaigns immediately afterward. Meanwhile, Fox News would use Sanders’ appearance to pretend they are fair and balanced and to leech credibility from him that they can’t earn on their own. And then Sanders continued:

I think it is important to talk to those people and say, ‘You know what? I know many of you voted for Donald Trump, but he lied to you. He told you, for example, he was going to provide healthcare to all people. Now he wants to throw thirty million people off the healthcare they have. He told you he was going to tax reform that would not benefit the wealthy. Eighty-three percent of the benefits go to the top one percent. So I think it is important to talk to Trump supporters and explain to them to what degree he has betrayed the working class of this country and lie during his campaign in terms of what he would do.

That’s a common sense response to the dishonest and regressive agenda that Trump and the GOP have forced onto the American people. Unfortunately, Fox News viewers have an unnatural aversion to common sense. It doesn’t matter how many times you tell them that Trump is lying, they won’t believe you. It’s the Primary Directive of cult management to insist that everyone but the cult is lying to you. Sanders would be wasting his time because the Fox audience will have predetermined that he is the liar and he’s only there to malign their messiah who is incapable of uttering a false word.

It has been established by numerous surveys that Fox News viewers are unalterably devoted to their conservative dogma, and since the advent of Trump, their loyalties are reserved for him exclusively. If Trump says that he’s already building a border wall (he hasn’t), they believe it. If he says that their taxes were lowered (they’re higher), they feel richer just listening to him. If he says that his healthcare plan (which doesn’t exist) is better and cheaper, they will rise from their Lazy-Boys and declare that they’ve been miraculously healed by his touch. They even believe that Trump was “totally exonerated” by a four page summary of the Mueller report that explicitly says there was no exoneration. Because that’s what Trump told them. And even Fox News can’t shake them from their slobbering devotion.

That’s not an audience that Sanders can have any effect on. He’s wasting his time speaking to them. They will only watch to gather reasons to hate him and the “socialist” Democratic Party more than ever. And the post-town hall analyses by Hannity, Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, and the “Curvy Couch” potatoes of Fox and Friends, will inform their own hostile reactions for days to come. Hopefully no other Democrats will follow in the misguided footsteps of Sanders by subjugating themselves to Fox News.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Just Like Trump: Fed Board Nominee Herman Cain is a Sexual Harasser Made Famous By Fox News

Apparently Donald Trump hasn’t been ridiculed enough yet for being an ignorant, propaganda mongering, reality TV sloganeer, who is mindlessly attached to his State TV brain trust at Fox News. Fox is a network whose mission is to advance the interests of corporations and the wealthy, along with an agenda of hatred and division. In other words, the social and political platform of Trump’s Republican Nationalist Party.

Donald Trump, Herman Cain

To that end, Trump is reported to be moving forward with his expected nomination of former pizza chain executive, Herman Cain, to the Federal Reserve Board. In many ways he’s the perfect nominee for Trump. He has no relevant experience in the work performed by the Fed. But he shares an embrace of incoherent right-wing myths that have been roundly repudiated by knowledgeable economists. And the two biggest reasons that Trump is tagging him for this post are his ignorance of macroeconomics and his prominent exposure on Fox News.

However, there’s another factor that may be boosting Cain’s profile with Trump. He was accused by multiple women of sexual harassment during his failed bid for the Republican nomination for president in 2012. And if you think that isn’t part of Trump’s recruiting criteria, just remember his support for the GOP Alabama senate candidate, Roy Moore. And his fervent advocacy of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh. And his close friendship with Bill O’Reilly. And his partnership with former Fox News CEO Roger Ailes. And his hiring of former Fox News president Bill Shine. Does there seem to be a pattern developing here?

When the sexual harassment controversies began to engulf Cain, Trump was right there to provide immoral support. He defended Cain by maligning the women accusing him of being fame seekers:

“They probably do love their names splashed across the front pages. And frankly, that’s not a good situation and I don’t think it’s a fair situation. And I think Herman should take very, very strong action, even if he has to bring a major lawsuit against the women.”

Of course. Because what do women love more than exposing themselves and their families to media circuses obsessed with their private sexual lives? Trump seems to think that this sort of intrusive scrutiny is every little girl’s dream. He also thinks that Cain was the victim of a now familiar conspiracy that he called “a very ugly witch hunt.”

Trump, of course, is himself the subject of accusations from at least sixteen women who assert that he harassed, and even assaulted them. And he has similarly defended himself by making spurious charges against his victims. But he has never taken the advice he gave to Cain by suing his accusers. Although he swore that “All of these liars will be sued after the election is over.” Perhaps he doesn’t have enough lawyers to handle that as well as the problems emerging from his conspiracy with Russia and the subsequent obstruction of justice.

It’s curious that Trump would choose now to wade into these waters that are so perilous to his own reputation (or lack thereof). He has taken to mocking Joe Biden over allegations of inappropriate touching. On that subject Trump posted a disgusting video meme on Twitter intending to hurt Biden. But as these things often go, it was far more hurtful to Trump because it reminds people of his own bad behavior as well as affirms his grossly infantile approach to serious subjects.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Still, he does have Fox News trying to shield him from criticism and attacking his critics. Which they are doing with devotion, but they’re getting worse at it every day. And now they need to figure out how they will put a happy face on Trump’s nomination of a sexually harassing, failed politician, with zero credentials for the job he’s being tapped to perform. That won’t be easy, but they have lots of experience doing it.

Oblivious Fox News Hosts Attack Joe Biden but Ignore Trump’s Serial Sexual Assault

A few weeks ago, Fox News was bitterly offended when the Democratic National Committee declined to let them host a Democratic primary debate. But nearly every day since then they have validated the DNC’s decision by demonstrating their overt bias and determination to malign the Democratic Party and its candidates for president in 2020.

Donald Trump

The latest example came during an episode of Fox’s Outnumbered, a program that purports to feature four women against a solo male guest, but is really four conservatives against a lone alleged liberal. The topic of discussion on Wednesday morning was the controversy over whether former Vice-President Joe Biden had behaved improperly with women during his decades of public service. It’s a valid subject to debate, even though Fox News has elevated it to a level of “crisis” that places it above Russian election tampering, the record federal deficit, and even the caravans of marauding immigrants storming America’s borders from the three Mexicos.

None of the allegations against Biden assert that his actions constituted sexual misbehavior. And Biden has responded by insisting that he never intended to make anyone feel uncomfortable. But Fox, nevertheless, is treating this story like a revelation of perverse activity that merits intense scrutiny. So Harris Faulkner, co-host of Outnumbered, opened the program with a “Fox News Alert:”

“And this Fox News alert is how we will begin. More women accusing former Vice-President Joe Biden of inappropriate behavior.”

That comment set the tone for what was to follow. And it just went downhill from there with remarks by these co-hosts of the show:

Melissa Francis: The thing is he doesn’t think he did anything wrong. And he doesn’t think he has anything to apologize for. He doesn’t think what he did is inappropriate. And that’s the problem.
Katie Pavlich: If this were a Republican he’d be disqualified from running for office ever again.

Alrighty then. These Fox News hosts regard Biden as having imposed inexcusably on women who did not welcome his affectionate encounters. And even though his impositions were limited to shoulder massages or a kiss on the top of the head, they were, according to Fox, out of bounds and he should face consequences for them. What’s more, they are certain that such behavior would never be tolerated if a Republican had engaged in it.

Seriously! The president that these absent-minded shills devotedly lavish with saintly praise has credibly been charged with much worse. Donald Trump has been accused by at least sixteen women of having committed sexual harassment and even assault. Trump himself bragged about assaulting women in the infamous Access Hollywood “grab them by the pussy” video.

Remember, some prominent Fox News folks (i.e. Bill O’Reilly, Roger Ailes) were just as bad as Trump and lost their jobs because of it. It would be interesting to see these Fox News hosts confronted with the facts about Trump in light of their opinions about Biden. Because if Biden should be driven from contention in the 2020 Democratic primary for his indiscretions, which many on the right have suggested, then shouldn’t Trump be driven from office for his criminal abuse?

You might think that a discussion about Biden’s situation would open up to include the sitting president. But it’s hard enough to even get Fox Newsers to admit that Trump ever did anything wrong with regard to women, or anything else. They continue to falsely assert that the report by special counsel Robert Mueller (which they haven’t seen) totally exonerates Trump, even though it explicitly says that it doesn’t. But that’s just the beginning.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

They refuse to concede that there are unlawful financial entanglements with Trump’s businesses. They defend his destructive tariffs and threats of border closures. They dismiss his marital infidelities and payoffs to his mistresses. They’re cool with his support for white nationalists, his infatuation with brutal dictators, and his flagrant, shameless lying. So why would they mind if he assaulted a dozen or so women?

Trump is Trippin’ on ‘God-Like’ Mueller and ‘Shifty’ Democrats and his ‘No Collusion’ Delusion

It’s only Tuesday, but Donald Trump is getting ahead of his regularly scheduled weekend tweetstorming with a series of utterly deranged posts expressing his fevered fetish with the investigations into the criminal connections to Russia by his campaign, his administration, his family, and of course, himself. The evidence of both conspiracy and obstruction of justice is so apparent that even the top legal expert on Fox News noticed.

Donald Trump, Twitter

Nevertheless, Trump continues to sing “la la las” with his tiny fingers in his ears rather than acknowledge the fact that special counsel Robert Mueller has likely produced a report that is filled with incriminating data. To date, no one but Trump’s plant in the Justice Department, Attorney General William Barr, has seen the report. But Democrats are more insistent with each passing day that it be released. And the more Democrats advocate for its release, the more Trump shudders and stomps in an effort to suppress it. Which only raises the question: What’s he so scared of?

In his Tuesday rage-tweeting, Trump first struck out against Rep. Jerrold Nadler, chair of the House Judiciary Committee:

This is a flagrant misrepresentation of reality. The only opposition Nadler had to releasing any portion of the Starr report was after it had already been given to Congress. And even then he only sought to keep confidential sources, methods, and grand jury testimony secret. That is pretty much the same position Nadler holds today with regard to the Mueller report. He wants it released to Congress first, and then any sensitive material can be evaluated and redacted, if necessary, before making it public. But like most things more complex than checkers, Trump doesn’t understand. So he then tweeted this:

Trump approaches a measure of truth – albeit exaggerated – in his assessment of the admiration that Democrats (and all patriotic Americans) have for Mueller, a true American hero and life-long public servant. But that’s where Trump’s ability to remain inside the bounds of sanity end. While there are some critics who think Mueller should have taken a more affirmative stance with regard to Trump’s potential illegality, no Democrats have become hostile or disrespectful toward Mueller since the completion of his probe. And none are hesitant to say his name in generally flattering terms.

What’s more, Trump’s assertion that Mueller “ruled No Collusion” can only be based on panicky voices in his head. Trump, like everyone else, has not seen the report unless the AG is more corrupt than we thought. Also, the cost of the Mueller probe was more than paid for by the asset forfeitures from the conviction of Trump’s campaign chairman, Paul Manafort, alone. So failing to make any coherent points in his previous tweets, Trump added this:

We ought to be grateful that Trump softened his name-calling for Rep. Adam Schiff to merely “shifty.” He previously maligned him as “Adam Schitt.” However, Trump seems to be tuckered out and unable to even come up with an insulting nickname for Nadler. It shouldn’t have been that hard considering some obvious options for the sort of childish digs Trump prefers. For instance: Bad Nadler, Mad Nadler, or maybe a gender-based burn like Gonad-ler.

Trump’s current resistance to letting the American people see what’s in Mueller’s report is a 180 degree flip-flop from recent statements he’s made suggesting that he would support a full release of Mueller’s findings. Apparently, as that prospect becomes more likely, Trump is getting cold feet and swinging back against the transparency he previously pretended to support.

In other words, his fear is rising to the surface and guiding him back to the bunker mentality that he believes best serves his legal interests. Expect him to become even more frantic as Nadler, Schiff, et al, issue their subpoenas and compel Trump’s insiders to testify under oath. Trump may want all of this to end yesterday, but his eventual and inevitable reckoning and accountability has only just begun.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Rachel Maddow is the #1 Cable News Program for First Quarter of 2019 Despite Trump’s Fox News Hype

The Rachel Maddow Show has achieved yet another milestone in her program’s ratings surge. She has been outperforming her competition since the midterm election last November. That includes staggering routs of Fox News and its primary Trump-fluffer, Sean Hannity.

Rachel Maddow

In a press release from MSNBC, Maddow is shown to have beaten “all other FOX News and CNN shows, according to Nielsen data from December 31, 2018 through March 28, 2019.” Furthermore, “this quarter was ‘Maddow’s’ highest-rated quarter ever in total viewers, averaging 3.07M total viewers at 9pm.” It’s a record-breaking achievement that demonstrates the audience appeal for an aggressively honest brand of reporting that respects the viewer and delivers facts that are well-sourced and documented.

The success of Maddow’s program was mirrored by much of the MSNBC schedule. The network’s Monday-Friday, 9:00am-5pm, viewing grew by a larger margin (17%) than Fox News, which actually declined two percent. The same goes for total day viewing that saw a nine percent increase for MSNBC versus a two percent drop for Fox News.

Additionally, The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell bested its Fox competition in its time period to be the #1 program for the quarter in both the 25-54 year old demographic and total viewers. It also outperformed Fox by growing ten percent compared to a seven percent decline for Fox. And another bright spot for MSNBC was Nicolle Wallace’s Deadline: White House, which also rang in at #1 against Fox’s long time host Neil Cavuto. And the press release notes that:

“Multiple MSNBC programs also achieved total-viewer ratings highs, including weekdays during ‘MSNBC Live with Stephanie Ruhle,’ ‘MSNBC Live with Hallie Jackson,’ ‘MSNBC Live with Craig Melvin,’ ‘Andrea Mitchell Reports,’ ‘MSNBC Live with Velshi & Ruhle,’ ‘MSNBC Live with Katy Tur,’ ‘MSNBC Live with Ali Velshi,’ ‘MTP Daily,’ ‘The Beat with Ari Melber,’ ‘Hardball with Chris Matthews,’ ‘All In with Chris Hayes,’ and ‘The Last Word with Lawrence O’Donnell’; and Saturdays during ‘UP with David Gura’ and ‘Weekends with Alex Witt.'”

It must be especially painful for Fox News considering how hard Trump worked to promote his State TV division. At times it was impossible to tell whether Trump was the President of the United States, or of Fox’s Marketing and PR department. At one point in March Trump posted ten Fox News videos in one flurry of weekend rage-tweeting.

This quarter also saw the publishing of an in-depth expose of the clinging embrace between Trump and Fox News by Jane Mayer of the New Yorker. Trump also came to the defense of two of Fox’s most offensive hosts, Jeanine Pirro and Tucker Carlson, whose prafane and insulting rants have cost them most of their advertisers. The Democratic National Committee made a profoundly wise decision to ban Fox from hosting any Democratic primary debates. That decision was affirmed shortly thereafter by a survey that revealed the depth of Fox’s right-wing nuttery. Meanwhile, Trump kept tweeting what he thought was good news about his favorite network.

All in all, it’s another stellar quarter for MSNBC, a network that was once written off as an also-ran that would always trail the perennial leader. And for Fox News it’s a bitter humiliation as their relentless and biased advocacy for Donald Trump, and shameless lying about his critics, proves to be a drag in the ratings race.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Trump Executive Order Prohibits April Fools Day For the Remainder of His Term Due to Redundancy

On April 1, 2019, the White House released an official statement regarding a new Executive Order signed by President Donald Trump. The Order officially prohibits the observance of April Fools Day for the remainder of the term that Trump is in office. It is the forty-sixth Executive Order by Trump who once criticized President Obama for issuing Executive Orders.

Donald Trump, April Fools

This Order is designed to forestall the “observance, celebration, recognition, ceremony, ritual, or tribute,” of any of the traditions associated with April Fools Day. The Order cites the “redundancy and profusion of mockable events and occurrences” that obviate the necessity for formal state acknowledgement of further “satirization, sarcasm, ridicule, farce, and/or parody.” Additionally, the Order enumerates examples of ludicrous and embarrassing behaviors that justify its issuance.

  • Trump calls the media “the enemy of the people.”
  • Trump names Fox News personality to White House post(s).
  • Trump tells rally goers that he “fell in love with” Kim Jong Un.
  • Trump asserts that Democrats will “obliterate ObamaCare.”
  • Trump expresses desire to be “president for life” like Xi Jinping.
  • Trump insists that he did not conspire with Russia or obstruct justice.
  • Trump thinks that he is responsible for the economic environment produced by Obama.
  • Trump declares a phony national emergency for funding for his border wall.
  • Trump accuses Democrats of colluding with Russia.
  • Trump honors neo-Nazis as “fine people.”
  • Trump calls himself “the most fabulous whiner.”
  • Trump praises his “very large a-brain.”
  • Trump threatens to investigate Saturday Night Live.
  • Trump says he will “make America great again.”

These are just a few of the instances when Trump has done or said something that were so painfully ludicrous that they could not be mocked, even by professional comedians. The full list goes on for more than forty pages and over 1,000 more such examples.

Consequently, the observance of April Fools Day in the era of Trump has been assigned to the White Office of the Department of Redundancy Department. The Department’s new director will be Fox News host (and Trump’s personal friend and advisor) Sean Hannity, who has a decades long record of established credentials for being thoroughly redundant, as well as irrelevant and expendable.

This Order will only be operative on the first of April of each year. For the rest of the year it will be permitted to lampoon the President and his laughably wacko deeds and utterances. In fact, it will be almost impossible to resist. But on the appointed days Trump will be temporarily relieved from having to endure the humiliation that he has earned and so richly deserves.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.