Fox News Trades Toe-Sucking Dick Morris For Goat-Fucking Erick Erickson

Posted by on February 6, 2013 at 12:37 am. 6 Comments :

The mediasphere is buzzing tonight with the news that Fox News is not renewing the contract of the world’s worst pundit, Dick Morris. Shortly after last November’s election Fox announced that he and Karl Rove would not be permitted on the air without special permission from the network brass. Since then, Rove’s contract was picked up, but until today no one knew what the fate of Morris would be.

Well, now we know. Morris has been thrown out in the cold along with Sarah Palin. This development has caused some analysts to ponder whether Fox is rethinking their signature news model of fabricating scandals and fomenting fear. But fear not. Any notion that Fox would alter the formula that earned them the disrespect of actual journalists everywhere can be set aside.

The fact is that, while Fox is jettisoning Morris (the former Clinton adviser who was caught sucking the toes of a prostitute while they both listened in on calls to the Oval Office), Fox has also hired recently dumped CNN contributor Erick Erickson (who honored retiring Supreme Court Justice David Souter by calling him a “Goat-fucking child molester”). So as you can see, Fox’s reputation remains in tact.

Dick Morris

Dick Morris did become somewhat of an embarrassment for Fox after insisting that Mitt Romney would win a landslide victory over Barack Obama. However, that was only his most recent exhibition of idiocy. Morris has been making an ass of himself for years. Particularly notable was his book, “Condi vs. Hillary,” in which he predicted that they would be the candidates in the 2008 election. But Morris got the Democratic nominee wrong; he got the Republican nominee wrong; and the Republican who Morris said could win if he were nominated (McCain) actually was nominated and lost. Is there any way Morris could have been more wrong?

It is nevertheless curious that Fox thinks Erick Erickson will somehow be less embarrassing. He is a vulgar and ignorant ultra-rightist partisan whose observations are shallow and factless. On second thought, he should fit right in at Fox. CNN’s decision to nix him seemed, momentarily, to be a possible sign of redemption. However, CNN just announced that Morris would be a guest on this Wednesday’s episode of the Piers Morgan show. Hopefully that is a one-time booking for the purpose of grilling him and then casting him back into the garbage where he belongs. But with CNN it’s hard to tell where they might be going with this. After all, they did employ Erickson for the past three years.

The cable news wars have been in a state of flux lately, with MSNBC overtaking Fox in parts of primetime with important audience segments. CNN just hired the former NBC/Universal chief, Jeff Zucker, and is beginning to shuffle their programs and people. But Fox still has the most stagnant schedule in cable news with old timers like Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Neil Cavuto, and the Fox & Fools in the morning. So anybody expecting to see much of difference in the future for Fox is likely to be proven as mistaken as Morris has been.

Find us on Google+
Advertisement:

Fox Nation vs. Reality: Amnesty For 9/11 Hijackers?

Posted by on February 5, 2013 at 2:36 pm. 2 Comments :

Conservative myth-makers have long held that the immigration reform measures advocated by Democrats were back-door paths to amnesty. That has never been true in the past, and it is not true for the most recent proposals put forth by the Obama administration and a bipartisan committee of senators. Nevertheless, the Fox Nationalists are engaging in their trademark brand of hysterical panic-mongering to incite fear among their gullible readers.

Fox Nation

The claim featured here that “Obama’s New Immigration Rules Would Have Spared 9/11 Hijackers” is re-posted from the “Moonie” Washington Times. The implications of this assertion would be troubling but for the fact that it is completely false. There is nothing in Obama’s proposal that would have had any affect on the immigration status of the 9/11 plotters for one simple reason: None of them had entered the United States illegally.

That’s right. Every single one of the nineteen 9/11 terrorists came to America on legal visas. The only point at which any of them might have been affected would be via an enhanced tracking procedure to identify visitors who overstay their visa, which only applied to perhaps three of them. So since the proposed immigration rules were never designed to address legal immigration, it is absurd to assert that they would have “spared” anybody. By the same logic you could say that laws against littering or jaywalking “spared” the terrorists, because nothing in those laws would have prevented the hijackings either.

The Fox Nationalists are making an argument that is as nonsensical as accusing Ronald Reagan of aiding Al Qaeda because he once fired a bunch of air traffic controllers. It appears that Fox is graduating from merely lying about everything to inventing surreal theories that seem to be hallucinogenically inspired.


Glenn Beck Calls Obama The Worst Thing He Can Think Of: ‘A Girl’

Posted by on February 5, 2013 at 12:04 pm. NO Comments :

Cover the children’s eyes and carefully consider whether you want to read further because what follows is not for sensitive readers. Glenn Beck, that macho icon manliness, has been driven to distraction by President Obama’s exhibition of icky feminine traits. Something Beck himself would never do.

Glenn Beck

During the Superbowl interview of the President, Scott Pelley asked him if he would allow his hypothetical sons to play football in light of recent news about the dangers from concussions which can lead to severe mental illness, dementia and death. Obama thoughtfully responded that he “would have to think about it.”

Apparently Beck would not need to think about it at all. He would gleefully encourage his sons to participate in an activity that has been known to cause serious injuries. Why would he need to give any thought to that? In fact, Beck was so offended by the President’s response that he played it on his little Internet blog and, the whole time Obama spoke, Beck kept repeating “He’s a girl…He’s a girl…”

One thing we can ascertain without doubt from observing his behavior is that Beck is a boy – an immature, ignorant, petulant, emotionally stunted, bitter, little boy, who thinks he can “revoke” Obama’s “man card.”

What’s worse is that Beck, in his haste to repudiate Obama’s thoughtfulness, has revealed his innate disrespect for women. In searching for the appropriate insult with which to bash the President, Beck can only come up with one that he repeats in a manic display of childishness: “You’re a girl. You’re a full-fledged woman.” Beck fervently believes that calling Obama a girl is the most damning epithet he can hurl. What could be worse, in his cartoon brain, than being compared to a young woman?

This isn’t the first time Beck has exposed his overt misogyny in this manner. When Jimmy Fallon’s TV house band, The Roots, played Fishbone’s “Lyin Ass Bitch” as Michelle Bachmann was introduced, Beck demanded that Fallon fire the band, but that he wouldn’t because he is – you guessed it – a girl.

You see, in Beck’s mind, only real men are capable of making difficult personnel decisions. Likewise, only real men understand that worrying about the welfare of your children is the mark of a sissy. And pretty much anything that stirs Beck’s ire is sufficient cause to castigate someone with aspersions to womanliness – the most horrible state of being that Beck can imagine. So horrible that I’m sure the very thought of it makes him cry.


Brilliant Breitbart Investigation Exposes: The Plot To Eat LUNCH!

Posted by on February 4, 2013 at 7:47 pm. 4 Comments :

Breitbart News appears to be angling to overtake The Onion as the funniest Internet site. Unfortunately for them, they aren’t doing it on purpose.

The geniuses at Breitbart News blasted out a shocking expose today that threatens to blow the lid off of Obama’s Justice Department. After an investigation that included the filing of numerous Freedom of Information Act requests concerning “questionable behavior by agency personnel” and their relationship with the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC), Breitbart’s crack team of reporters (or is that team of reporters on crack?) published the shocking results of their investigation.

Breitbart News

The DOJ had invited Morris Dees, founder of the SPLC, to speak at a Diversity Training Event. Dees was a particularly appropriate choice to address the group because of the SPLC’s long record of fighting bigots and hate groups and advocating for, and teaching, racial tolerance. The SPLC has also worked with both federal and local police agencies to identify racist individuals and groups who engage in criminal activities.

What Breitbart found, via their pals at the right-wing legal group, Judicial Watch, was a batch of emails that revealed … well, see for yourself (cut and paste from Breitbart News):

  • May 3, 2012 email – “We would like to tape the [Morris Dees] remarks and, at the same time, out Morris real time on the DOJ system can watch from their desks. Is that okay with Morris?”
  • June 27, 2012 – “Let me know Morris’ air schedule so I can pick him up at airport and plan an evening for us if he stays over.”
  • July 11, 2012 – “I will be at National in my [REDACTED] in which he has ridden before … I can arrange dinner. If he has a preference in DC where he wants to eat … tell him to let me know his druthers.”
  • July 16, 2012 – “The AAG’s office want to take Morris out to lunch before the 1:30 pm July 31 remarks … I’d pick Morris up at his hotel at 11:30 am if that worked for him.”
  • July 23, 2012 – “I will pick you [Morris Dees] up at the airport July 30. Would you go out to dinner with my wife and me and our two teenage daughters that first night? The girls need some inspiration from a master of inspiration.”

That’s it. Really! The DOJ communicated with a guest speaker to arrange airport transportation and meals. And for this Breitbart seems to think that prison, or perhaps waterboarding, would be warranted.

This article, written by former “Moonie” Washington Times reporter Kerry Picket, castigated the SPLC as an “attack group” and complained about them allegedly “labeling organizations with conservative views on social issues as ‘hate groups.’” However, it is hardly the SPLC’s fault that many so conservative groups are so often found to be bleating overt hate-speech. The SPLC carefully documents every allegation they make and they are respected by the nation’s foremost experts on organized bigotry.

This is another example of the BreitBrats simply targeting an ideological opponent and, lacking any evidence of actual wrongdoing, manufactures an imaginary outrage with which to regale their easily misled audience. But when the pickings are so slim that they are reduced to fanning a scandal comprised of dining reservations, you just have to laugh. It doesn’t get much more pathetic than this.


Al Gore Hurts Fox News’ Feelings, So Fox Bashes Current TV Sale Again

Posted by on February 4, 2013 at 12:00 pm. 6 Comments :

This morning on Fox & Friends, the kindergarten crew welcomed Rupert Murdoch’s personal attorney, Peter Johnson, Jr. (the man with three euphemisms for penis in his name), to engage in yet another round of bashing Al Gore for selling his Current TV network to Al Jazeera.

Fox News

In this episode, Johnson demonstrated an embarrassingly poor ability to make a cogent argument, which should worry his client Rupert who is engaged in numerous legal entanglements related to the News Corp hacking scandal in the UK.

Fox’s Gretchen Carlson introduced the segment with a video clip of Gore commenting on Fox News and right-wing talk radio, saying “The fact that we have 24/7 propaganda masquerading as news, it does have an impact.” It was that swipe at Fox that prompted this rehashing of old news. And rather than try to dispute the obvious truth of Gore’s comment, Johnson launched into his harangue about Gore permitting a news enterprise based in the oil-producing nation of Qatar to buy his network, thus affirming Fox’s status as The Whiniest ‘News’ Network Ever:

Johnson: This is the ultimate Lear Jet liberal who’s lost his mind. He is richer though. They made a half billion dollars on it. And you know the reason he said it’s a good sale? “I’m not gonna sell to Glenn Beck. I’m not gonna sell to American media folks. I am gonna sell to Al Jazeera. You know why? Because they’re the best at discussing climate change.” That’s like saying “I’m gonna sell it to the NRA because they’re the best at discussing gun control.”

Setting aside the fact that Johnson thinks Gore, who just made $100,000,000, has lost his mind, the case he is making defies logic. If it is, as Johnson says, like selling to the NRA who cannot report objectively on guns because they are proponents of guns, then Johnson is asserting that Current cannot sell to Al Jazeera and expect objective reporting on climate change because Al Jazeera is a proponent of climate reform measures. Except that Johnson just got finished criticizing the sale because Al Jazeera’s oil-rich Qatari base would oppose such measures.

So which is it? Is Gore a hypocrite for selling an environmentally conscious network to a bunch of fossil fuel fanatics? Or is he handing off his company to a news outlet that is going to advocate for alternative energy rather than cover the issue objectively? Johnson wants to characterize Al Jazeera as beholden to oil interests and biased against them at the same time. And he has the nerve to say that Gore has lost his mind?

It’s bad enough that Fox News is the public relations arm of the Republican Party. And it’s all the worse that they brazenly lie to fulfill that role. But do they have to be so staggeringly stupid while they’re at it?


Weird Video Pops Up On YouTube For “Fox Nation vs. Reality”

Posted by on February 3, 2013 at 9:42 am. 3 Comments :

I swear I had nothing to do with this:

Yep, that’s my ebook “Fox Nation vs. Reality.” I’m not sure how that got posted to YouTube or who was responsible, but I am oddly drawn to the electronic, British narrator’s sultry recitation.

And speaking of my book … It is currently #4 in Media Studies, and #4 in Political Advocacy, on Amazon. If you haven’t picked up your copy yet, please consider doing so now. It’s a revealing and entertaining look into the blatant dishonesty practiced by Fox News at their bile-drenched community web site, Fox Nation.

Find us on Google+
Advertisement:

So F**king What? Students Pledge Allegiance To The United States In Arabic. Fox Freaks Out

Posted by on February 2, 2013 at 2:06 pm. 8 Comments :

Isn’t this a good thing?

Fox Nation

The rabidly Islamophobic racists at Fox News have found yet another manufactured threat over which to obsess. It seems that a high school in Ft. Collins, Colorado, has taken the radical step of embracing the patriotism of all of its students. The horror of this activity prompted the Fox Nationalists to rush out a story with an alarmist headline saying “School Pledges Allegiance in Arabic, One Nation Under Allah?”

So F**king What?

What we have here is a group of students with diverse national and cultural backgrounds who are proud to be Americans. They are explicitly articulating that pride by pledging their allegiance to the country they love. Where’s the harm in that? Apparently the bigots at Fox are only comfortable with stereotypes of foreigners who are angry or violent or otherwise cast as enemies of the United States. The Foxies simply cannot comprehend the notion of patriotism unless it is expressed by white Christians.

One thing we can rely on with certainty is that Fox Nation is either lying or they are oozing bigotry on many levels. First of all, The question as to whether these students are making an oath to Allah ignores the fact that there are millions of Christians in the world who speak Arabic, which is a language, not a religion. Fox is making an assumption about the faith of these students that is based on prejudice. Which brings up the second point: What’s wrong with Muslims pledging to their God that they will be loyal to America? Would Fox prefer that anyone who believes in Allah reject this country? Or does Fox think that in order to love America you first have to convert to Christianity? Where would that leave Jews, Hindus, Buddhists, Native Americans, atheists, etc.?

While this is just the latest example of the blatant racism that is frequently expressed on Fox News, it is still unnerving to witness this sort of overt hate speech emanating from a major so-called “news” network. And it is more than a little ironic that a man named Al-Waleed bin Talal, a Muslim and a Saudi prince who has not pledged his allegiance to America in any language, is the largest shareholder of Fox’s parent corporation outside of the Murdoch family.


Fox News Fielding GOP Candidates For 2014: Pinheads On Parade

Posted by on February 2, 2013 at 10:43 am. 5 Comments :

The 2012 presidential election cycle saw an unprecedented exploitation of the media by Fox News. The network employed numerous on-air hosts and contributors who were also prospective candidates for the Republican nomination for president. These included Sarah Palin, Newt Gingrich, Rick Santorum, Mike Huckabee, John Bolton, and Donald Trump. That relationship was wholly unethical by any standard, but Fox refused to comply with the professional standards that any credible news enterprise would maintain.

Now that 2012 is behind us, Fox has begun their campaigning for the next election cycle in 2014. Already at the gate are two Fox News employees who have indicated their interest in running for the senate. Geraldo Rivera announced that he is “truly considering” a run for the GOP nomination for senate in New Jersey. Keith Ablow reported on air his intention to seek the seat in Massachusetts. Setting aside momentarily the ethics dilemma this creates for Fox, these particular candidates would be a boon for professional comedians everywhere.

Geraldo RiveraGeraldo is best known for hosting an epically anti-climactic television spectacle to reveal the contents of Al Capone’s secret safe. After a two hour long buildup it turned out that the safe was empty. Geraldo also hosted a syndicated talk show that featured America’s low-life engaging in televised slap-fights. More recently he caused a stir by saying that “I think the hoodie is as much responsible for Trayvon Martin’s death as George Zimmerman was.” Geraldo later both apologized for, and defended the statement.

Keith AblowKeith Ablow is the disreputable psychiatric analyst Fox employs to make absurd and insulting diagnoses of Obama and other enemies of Fox. In the course of his practice, Ablow has praised marital infidelity as evidence of strong moral character that would enhance America’s leadership. He has suggested that the children of gay parents are at risk of sexual abuse. And he frequently offers public diagnoses of the President and others in violation of the American Psychiatric Association’s code of ethics.

The qualifications of these Fox/Tea Party candidates are embarrassingly sub-par. They would have to rise significantly to be considered mediocre. These hacks have nothing to recommend them as legislators, thinkers, or public servants. All of this makes them perfect candidates for the radically dimwitted right-wingers who watch Fox.

However, for Fox to permit their punditry to toy with electoral politics and remain on the air is an affront to the profession of journalism. Fox is effectively donating valuable airtime to promote their candidacies and the platforms they espouse. What’s more, Fox cannot possibly cover them fairly because their colleagues would be afraid to criticize them for fear of retribution from the executive suites. Roger Ailes has publicly admonished his staff to refrain from “shooting in the tent,” which would make impartial analysis impossible.

This is likely just the beginning. There may be additional announcements of Foxies who think they are poised for positions of power due to the notoriety they get from being on Fox. They may be sorely disappointed. None of the candidates above got anywhere during a year when many people thought the president was vulnerable and Fox was riding high in the ratings. Now that Obama was reelected with a substantial majority and Fox has taken a devastating hit in the ratings, it would be far more difficult for their candidates to make a mark, particularly when they are as insipid as these two.

Still, for the sake of the well being of America’s comedians, we must hold out hope that Steve Doocy or Eric Bolling or Gretchen Carlson will throw their tri-corner hats into the ring. With Sarah Palin and Dick Morris off the air there is a severe drought of comic relief. So, please, won’t somebody think of the comedians?


Sean Hannity Taps Manic Mark Levin To Fill The Sarah Palin Void

Posted by on February 1, 2013 at 10:23 am. 1 Comments :

Now that Sarah Palin has received her walking papers from Fox News,
Mark Levinthe programs that relied on her signature vitriolic commentary have been left to struggle with how to fill the air time she previously consumed with her incoherent rants. The programs most concerned are Greta Van Susteren and Sean Hannity who tied for the most Palin appearances during her tenure as a Fox contributor.

This problem appears to have been solved for Hannity. Conservative screecher Mark Levin announced on his radio show that he will soon begin to make regular appearances on Hannity’s Fox-capades. It’s a fairly reasonable programming decision since the delusional hostility exhibited by Levin is remarkably similar to that of Palin. The transition to this new sneering character should go pretty smoothly. Here are a few of Levin’s recent proclamations that might easily be mistaken for Palin’s trademark tirades:

  • The Muslim Brotherhood has infiltrated our government, it’s called Barack Obama.
  • You can see the pockets of tyranny within our own country.
  • We [elect Obama] again, it’s not a mistake. It’s national suicide.
  • “[ObamaCare] sounds Hitler-esque to me.
  • What kind of uniforms will this national security force wearing? Will they be Brown Shirts? Will they be clicking their heels as they walk?
  • I’ve taken a lot of heat for calling Obama a Marxist.
  • Will that presidential library be in Kenya or Chicago?

I think Levin got almost every Obama haters slander in there: Birther, Nazi, tyrant, Muslim, Marxist, and the Apocalypse. He is nothing if not thorough. And the big bonus is that Fox is getting Levin for free. In his announcement he noted that he would not be an official Fox News contributor and would be receiving no pay for his appearances. Considering the fact that Palin was found to have cost Fox $15.85 per word (a million dollars a year) for her dimwitted dissertations, Fox really scored by dumping her for a reasonable facsimile that costs them nothing.

Hannity viewers must be relieved that they won’t miss a thing when Levin joins the show. They will continue to enjoy the ignorant bleating and crackpot references to liberal fascists and encroaching tyranny to which they have become so accustomed thanks to Sarah Palin. Mark Levin may be the most appropriate substitute Fox could have scrounged up.


Fox Nation vs. Reality: Obama’s Imaginary Bulldozer Rolls Over Saint Reagan

Posted by on January 31, 2013 at 2:10 pm. 4 Comments :

The Fox Nationalists are working overtime to scare up horror stories about FrankenObama and his dastardly schemes. The latest episode features President Obama plotting to erase the memory of Ronald Reagan from the history of all mankind. As might be expected, they are lying.

Fox Nation

In order to facilitate this nonsense. Fox scoured the InterTubes to find a posting at the “Moonie” Washington Times by a reader. He was not a part of the newspaper’s editorial staff whose credibility is already in tatters. He was merely a member of the community who posted an entirely speculative comment.

The allegation that Obama was planning to bulldoze Reagan’s childhood home to make way for his presidential library is false on many levels. First of all, the apartment building in question was not a significant place in Reagan’s early life. He lived there for less than a year when he was four years old. The city’s Landmark Commission had ruled it not to be of any historical value. Secondly, the building is being razed by the University of Chicago’s medical school to expand their facilities, not anyone associated with Obama. Thirdly, Obama could not possibly have ordered the demolition on behalf of his library because he has not even decided where to build it. Certainly Chicago is on the short list, but so is Hawaii.

None of this matters, however, to Fox Nation because the phony perception of Obama trampling the memory of Reagan was just too good to pass up – or to fact check.