Glenn Beck Has Seen The Finger Of God

As his tenure at Fox News winds to a close, Glenn Beck’s Messianic delusions are escalating beyond imagination.

Beck has long seen himself as the Lord’s messenger. After visiting the Vatican last year he returned with a story of a mysterious man who told him that “we know who you are. What you’re doing is wildly important.” He later told his radio congregation that “God is giving a plan, I think, to me that is not really a plan.” Whatever that means.

Today Beck revealed another encounter with the Almighty:


“I’m going to invite you to join me on a journey that will be recorded in the annals of history. It will be recorded and remembered. [...] You are going to see miracles in your lifetime. I believe I have seen the finger of God. I believe that in the coming days you will see the entire of arm of God.”

The entire arm? All the way to the pit? Somehow I think it’s more likely that God is going to reveal his foot to Beck’s ass. However, I do believe that God has given Beck the finger. In fact, God has smited him mightily just as the Bible says. The signs are clear and cannot be ignored. God is pissed! He has said so unambiguously. Deuteronomy 28:27-29, describes the punishment from the Lord if you should fail to follow his laws:

27: The LORD will smite thee with the botch of Egypt, and with the emerods, and with the scab, and with the itch, whereof thou canst not be healed.
28: The LORD shall smite thee with madness, and blindness, and astonishment of heart.
29: And thou shalt grope at noonday, as the blind gropeth in darkness, and thou shalt not prosper in thy ways: and thou shalt be only oppressed and spoiled evermore, and no man shall save thee.

We hardly need to speak of Egypt and how badly Beck botched that. The emerods (or hemorrhoids) he has already had, and it nearly killed him. The potential blindness he announced tearfully last year. The madness is self evident. Even his prosperity is being plundered as his television program signs off and numerous radio stations have canceled his show.

Despite the Lord’s pleading and obvious signs, Beck has persisted in his evil ways, forcing God to resort to a vulgarity that every human ought to understand. When God flips you the bird, you should take notice. But Beck is probably too blinded by his own divine Narcissism that this too will go right over his head.

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6 thoughts on “Glenn Beck Has Seen The Finger Of God

  1. I think I can guess which finger he saw.

    • Alternate headline: God Gives Beck the Finger.

  2. I don’t mean to offend anybod…..fuck it I don’t care. I find the very concept of god to be offensive.

    Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? – Epicurus

    A man is accepted into a church for what he believes and he is turned out for what he knows. – Samuel Clemens

    Philosophy is questions that may never be answered. Religion is answers that may never be questioned. – Anonymous

    With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion. – Steven Weinberg

    Since the Bible and the church are obviously mistaken in telling us where we came from, how can we trust them to tell us where we are going? – Anonymous

    The invisible and the non-existent look very much alike. – Delos B. McKown

    Two hands working can do more than a thousand clasped in prayer. – Anonymous

    Blind faith is an ironic gift to return to the Creator of human intelligence. – Anonymous

    What can be asserted without proof can be dismissed without proof. – Christopher Hitchens

    I contend that we are both atheists. I just believe in one fewer god than you do. When you understand why you dismiss all the other possible gods, you will understand why I dismiss yours. – Stephen Roberts

    It ain’t the parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand. – Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)

    Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power but absolute power is corrupt only in the hands of the absolutely faithful. – Anonymous

    Gods are fragile things; they may be killed by a whiff of science or a dose of common sense. – Chapman Cohen

    When one person suffers from a delusion, it is called insanity. When many people suffer from a delusion it is called religion. – Robert Pirsig

    Most religions prophecy the end of the world and then consistently work together to ensure that these prophecies come true. – Anonymous

    If I were not an atheist, I would believe in a God who would choose to save people on the basis of the totality of their lives and not the pattern of their words. I think he would prefer an honest and righteous atheist to a TV preacher whose every word is God, God, God, and whose every deed is foul, foul, foul. – Isaac Asimov

    Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful. – Seneca the Younger

    Is God willing to prevent evil, but not able? Then he is not omnipotent. Is he able, but not willing? Then he is malevolent. Is he both able and willing? Then whence cometh evil? Is he neither able nor willing? Then why call him God? – Epicurus

    Atheists need to come out of the closet in this country!!!-Desdinova.

    • I liked your post so much I copied and pasted it to word and saved as a file to refer to in the future. In case you’r not aware of it a bunch of religious nuts are putting up billboards all over the country saying the world ends on May 21, 2011. Not too many days left, I guess we better go out and have a good time before the 21st.

      To me Glenn Beck’s insanity is astonishing in this day and age. How does a major network put someone like that on and have any credibility.

  3. I can’t argue with any one of those things, Desdinova. I especially like:
    “Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.”

    Ever since our ancestors saw the first lightning bolt in the sky and heard the first roll of thunder, someone saw an opportunity to control others and make some shit up. It has worked ever since.

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