The Republican National Convention is now just one week away. Preparations are being made for what Donald Trump and his campaign are promising will be a unique event that will bring more entertainment value to the normally staid political gathering. Among the most highly anticipated announcements is who will share the podium during the four day televised spectacle.
While there have been rumors that assembling a roster of speakers has been difficult, Trump insists that enthusiastic supporters are clamoring to speak on his behalf. A week ago Trump proudly tweeted:
The speakers slots at the Republican Convention are totally filled, with a long waiting list of those that want to speak – Wednesday release
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 2, 2016
When Wednesday arrived, however, there was a change in plans, as revealed in another tweet:
Convention speaker schedule to be released tomorrow. Let today be devoted to Crooked Hillary and the rigged system under which we live.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 6, 2016
Trump was making reference to the just concluded FBI inquiry into Hillary Clinton’s email that determined that no charges should be filed. Apparently Trump wanted some extra time to exploit this news and spread his conspiracy theories about a rigged system. Instead he spent most of the day defending the blatant anti-Semitism of a tweet he posted a few days earlier. After which he still did not provide the list of convention speakers as promised.
Well now the News Corpse Satire Desk can put an end to the suspense. A flyer advertising the convention’s biggest attractions has been acquired from sources at the RNC (see below). And true to form, it appears to be an unprecedented extravaganza that will feature the sort of celebrities that set paparazzi hearts afire. They include some of the most popular luminaries of the Republican elite straight from the country clubs of Trump’s private golf resorts. For instance: Sean Hannity, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Ted Nugent, Sarah Palin, David Duke, Ted Cruz, Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson, and the fabulous Ivanka.
How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that is not to be missed. So get your tickets ASAP, or mark your calendar as full for most of next week as you sit in front of your televisions to enjoy a festival of wingnut glitterati unlike anything you have ever seen before – or ever will again, we hope.
15 thoughts on “Exclusive: Donald Trump’s List Of Speakers For The Republican National Convention Just Leaked”
Drumpf’s speaker list, high doubtful but truly possible, is the reason I never watch FOX. I now Glenn Beck is no longer on that channel, but Hannity and Palin? I wouldn’t allow them into my house.
Palin is a very cool lady! She sent her kids to public school and the entire family is cool! Sarah was the best governor the state of Alaska ever had! She rocks! She welcomes the citizens of this table into her house often and we do same for her! Don’t judge a person unless you know them!
In statement above ‘table’ should be ‘town’!
Surely you’re kidding — aren’t you- — please tell me you’re kidding.
Klondike Kardashian ?
Splodey heads, splodey words.
Basically, she’s an idiot — and she’s stupid too.
Please, not even residents of Alaska think Her Dummy Royal Highness Princess Sarah was “the best governor.” Certainly, not any more. After all, she abandoned them halfway through her term — as she has done with every office she’s ever served. She’s never maintained a position for an entire term, let alone stood for reelection. She’s more interested in building her personal profile than actually serving her state or her country, particularly if it requires no personal effort on her part.
Then, she only rejected Denali as the mountain’s name once it became a political issue for Obama. Since he supported it, she can’t possibly do so, even though she championed the name change as governor.
And isn’t the state still paying for her (okay, alleged) illegal actions she committed while she was governor?
If Trump selects her as his running mate, she might quit the moment she broke a nail. She doesn’t even know what the vice president does, for spirits sake.
She is an embarrassment to this country, and even those who voted for her realize that now.
Oh darn, I’ll have to miss it. I’ll be expressing my dog’s anal gland instead. It’s pretty much the same thing anyway.
Interesting that there are NO people of color, and the two women are his daughter and the suck-up quitter Governor. Looks like Donnie will have to work hard to dispel the notion that he ‘loves women, ‘ ‘loves minorities,,’ ‘loves Muslims and Christians,’ ‘loves everyone and they love ME” because he’s such a success. Or something. Me, I won’t waste a minute on any of it. Maybe Melania could reprise her bikini with the rifle pose-that will get ratings at least. Or Sarah could bring out the fake MOH Son in Law and he could show how he poses his one year old with lots of guns. That will please the NRA crowd.
Let’s guess, EVERYONE of them is a piece of sh–, like TDump himself.
I want this poster!!!
Dammit — so disappointing — aren’t Hulk Hogan and Don King available?
Poor old Trump, No Good Speakers. Trumpy, Hillarys Convention will be much Better..Trumpys convention will Fall Flatter than a Swedish Pancake.. Too bad the convention will only have CLOWNs, NO Trapeze, NO Lion Tamer, Tattoos Lady,oh wait The Bearded Man will Be there…
Dump the Trump Card. Elected the joker the same thing.
That agenda is a Tea Bag full O’Crazy! (I want a poster too)
Ted Cruz is the only Federal/National government elected speaker on the list. When was the last time there were so few GOP or Dem elected members of congress who declined the invitation to speak at a National Convention? A testament to the discord Trump has sown this election cycle.
And why is this snake in the grass, Ted Cruz selling his soul to the Donald? Really Ted Cruz? You want 2020 so bad that you’ll sell your soul to “The Donald” who labelled you, “Lyin’ Ted”?
I’m guessing he was right. Because when you stand on the stage in front of The United States of America in Cleveland, and explain to me why I should vote for “The Donald”, then for sure, I’ll know that he was right about one thing…and that is that you are “Lyin’ Ted”.
That’s weak. No wonder your daughter didn’t want to give you a kiss on the campaign trail…
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