The Republican National Convention is now just one week away. Preparations are being made for what Donald Trump and his campaign are promising will be a unique event that will bring more entertainment value to the normally staid political gathering. Among the most highly anticipated announcements is who will share the podium during the four day televised spectacle.
While there have been rumors that assembling a roster of speakers has been difficult, Trump insists that enthusiastic supporters are clamoring to speak on his behalf. A week ago Trump proudly tweeted:
The speakers slots at the Republican Convention are totally filled, with a long waiting list of those that want to speak – Wednesday release
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 2, 2016
When Wednesday arrived, however, there was a change in plans, as revealed in another tweet:
Convention speaker schedule to be released tomorrow. Let today be devoted to Crooked Hillary and the rigged system under which we live.
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) July 6, 2016
Trump was making reference to the just concluded FBI inquiry into Hillary Clinton’s email that determined that no charges should be filed. Apparently Trump wanted some extra time to exploit this news and spread his conspiracy theories about a rigged system. Instead he spent most of the day defending the blatant anti-Semitism of a tweet he posted a few days earlier. After which he still did not provide the list of convention speakers as promised.
Well now the News Corpse Satire Desk can put an end to the suspense. A flyer advertising the convention’s biggest attractions has been acquired from sources at the RNC (see below). And true to form, it appears to be an unprecedented extravaganza that will feature the sort of celebrities that set paparazzi hearts afire. They include some of the most popular luminaries of the Republican elite straight from the country clubs of Trump’s private golf resorts. For instance: Sean Hannity, Sheriff Joe Arpaio, Ted Nugent, Sarah Palin, David Duke, Ted Cruz, Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson, and the fabulous Ivanka.
How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.
This is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity that is not to be missed. So get your tickets ASAP, or mark your calendar as full for most of next week as you sit in front of your televisions to enjoy a festival of wingnut glitterati unlike anything you have ever seen before – or ever will again, we hope.