Mitt Romney: Corporations Are People, My Friend

The front-runner for the Republican nomination for president, Mitt Romney, took a courageous stand today in support of the browbeaten, wealthy corporations of America:

That’s right. Corporations are people. They’re born, they live, they dream, they love. And that’s not all…

Soylent Green is people. Corporations are people. And don’t even get me started on Depeche Mode.

It’s about time somebody stood up for the downtrodden multinationals. When will society treat them fairly and allow them to marry and to serve in the armed forces? While they can’t vote, at least they can manipulate elections with their riches because the Supreme Court has ruled that money is speech. And since corporations have more money than “ordinary” people, they get more speech.

Aint Democracy grand? Way to go, Mitt.


5 thoughts on “Mitt Romney: Corporations Are People, My Friend

  1. Money is speech.
    Corporations are people.
    Freedom is Slavery.

    Back to “1984” in three easy steps!

  2. If corporations are people, then they should pay income taxes like the rest of us people. No need for subsidies or tax loopholes, with the same minimal deductions for “family” that we get. Holding trillions offshore is criminal tax evasion, like it is for the rest of us people, so these corporate “persons” should be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law, just like us people.

    If corporations want all the rights and privileges of “personhood”, they should also have to suffer the same consequences of criminal actions as people do.

  3. Corporations are people.
    Soylent Green is people.
    Therefore, corporations are Soylent Green.
    (sorry about the undistributed middle).

    If corporations are people, why aren’t they subject to the death penalty?

  4. I wonder how many lives he destroyed by murdering “people” in his business career. Corporations are people? Legally ruled? What a goddamn travesty. I can comfortably say that I’m with the tin foil helmet nuts when they said that was the beginning of a worst case scenario for our species.

  5. Good points Lauren. It would be nice if pundits or jounalists would mention them during interviews of Romney.

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