Rudy Giuliani is OUTRAGED that Fox News Isn’t Hyping the ‘Vicious’ (Gentle Pat) He Suffered

This is terrible news for The Onion and other producers of political satire. It has been long coming that the alternative “reality” of right-wing politicians and pundits would supersede the work of comedians. Donald Trump has led the MAGA (Make America Gag Again) movement with his increasingly preposterous outbursts that would make a street-corner schizoid cringe.

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Rudy Giuliani, Donald Trump

With cartoonish figures like Marjorie Taylor Greene and MyPillow’s Mike Lindell challenging the professional humorists, it was bound to happen that the balance of parody power would shift to the Trumpian GOP crackpots who present their gags as truth.

RELATED: Trump Does a Great Job of Proving How Pitifully Stupid He and His Cult Followers Are

On Sunday Trump’s disgraced lawyer, Rudy Giuliani (whose license has been suspended), suffered a “horrific” assault in a Staten Island grocery store. He claimed that the attack resulted in severe injuries and, but for his astonishing good health, would have killed him. See the frightful thwacking here for yourself…

“All of a sudden I feel a shot on my back, like somebody shot me. I went forward, but luckily I didn’t fall down. Luckily I’m a 78 year old in pretty good shape, cause if I wasn’t I would have hit the ground and probably cracked my skull.”

The following day, and after the video had been widely distributed, Giuliani continued to portray the incident as a heinous act of domestic terrorism…

“I got hit on the back as if a boulder hit me. It knocked me forward a step or two. It didn’t knock me down, but it hurt tremendously.”

However, the grisly violence was only the beginning of what infuriated Giuliani. The media response was like a the knife twisting in his near fatal wound…

“One of the only two living ex-mayors of New York – and probably, I’d say modestly, the most famous – was assaulted, was not even on Fox. Even if Putin got assaulted, it would be on Fox.”

First of all, you have to wonder which of the three living ex-mayors (Giuliani, Bill de Blasio and Michael Bloomberg) Giuliani thinks is dead. Perhaps he thinks he actually did succumb to the grocery store stunt. Secondly, if Vladimir Putin received a little love tap like the one Giuliani got it would only have made Fox News if it came from that RINO, Melania.

It isn’t surprising that Giuliani is upset with Fox News. He has already been banned from the network because he wouldn’t stop lying about election fraud on behalf of Trump. Fox is apparently sensitive about that sort of deceit since they are being sued for billions of dollars by two voting systems companies that they defamed – Dominion and Smartmatic.

Giuliani is named as a defendant in both lawsuits. And it can’t be helpful to his defense that he is making up stories about being attacked. Not that his credibility wasn’t already shot long ago. Now he is whining that a harmless, albeit non-consensual, touching is akin to an actual shooting. This is what it’s come to. And satire is the real victim here.

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8 thoughts on “Rudy Giuliani is OUTRAGED that Fox News Isn’t Hyping the ‘Vicious’ (Gentle Pat) He Suffered

  1. What a little snowflake…such a poor little diddums! ????? I reckon he had his finger up nose for a crafty pick and the tiny tap caused his digit to impact his brain – or what passes for a brain in that gin-mill he calls a body. ?????

  2. The next thing this cretin will do is blame the whole incident on Democrats. Cry me a damn river Giuliani. You dumb stupid SOB. You are a damn loser, get over it and resume your freaking lie telling… or go attach your lips to Donald TUMP’s putrid azz like your other Fascist buddies have.

  3. He’s probably right at this point. Fox News probably does prefer Putin to Rudy.

  4. Looks to me like legitimate political discourourse!

  5. I can guarantee that there are plenty of people who are willing to show Giuliani what it feels like to be shot or hit with a boulder. I could show him what it feels like to have a very sharp broadsword slide thouugh his guts.

    • Great comment, there are many GQP leaders that should be included in addition to Giuliani. Is it true that he had his attorney license suspended? The incompetent SOB was never qualified to be an Attorney in the first place. Although he is very qualified at Grifting and telling lies and deceiving people.

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