Stephen Colbert Hysterically Mocks Tucker Carlson’s ‘Comedy’ on the Arrest of His Staff in D.C.

Last week Senior Fox News Blow Hard, Tucker Carlson, went completely off the rails with a ludicrous segment accusing Stephen Colbert of having “committed insurrection” at the Capitol when members of his staff were detained during production of comedy routine featuring Triumph, the Insult Comic Dog. Carlson bizarrely asserted that it was “exactly like what happened on January 6th.”

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Fox News. Tucker Carlson

Sure. It was “exactly” like the deadly insurrection by hundreds of hostile thugs incited by Donald Trump to break through barricades, injure more than 140 police officers, five of whom died, shatter windows and bust through locked doors, threaten to kill or hang government officials, and cause $30 million dollars in damages.

RELATED: Trump is Covertly Recruiting More Violent Insurrectionists With Promises of Future Pardons

On Monday night Colbert responded to the preposterous ravings of Carlson with both humor and insight. In his opening monologue, Colbert was noticeably shocked by the pure idiocy of Carlson’s take on the incident. He allusively referred to Carlson’s latest harangue saying that…

“… a couple of the TV people claimed that my puppet squad had “committed insurrection” at the U.S. Capitol building. First of all…What? Second of all…Huh? Third of all, they weren’t in the Capitol building. fourth of all – and I am shocked that I have to explain the difference – Insurrection involves the lawful actions of Congress and howling for the blood of elected leaders all to prevent the peaceful transfer of power. This was first degree puppetry. This was hijinks with intent to goof.” […]

“Drawing any equivalence between rioters storming the Capitol to prevent the counting of electoral ballots, and a cigar-chomping toy dog is shameful and a grotesque insult to the memory of everyone who died. And it obscenely trivializes the service and courage of the Capitol Police showed on that terrible day. But who knows. Maybe there was a vast conspiracy to overthrow the United States with a rubber Rottweiler.”

For his part, Carlson spent the entire A-block of his show blasting Colbert and his “seven saboteurs” who Carlson said had “breach[ed] the Capitol grounds” on “a hunt for sitting members of Congress.” And if you think he was kidding – because Carlson’s delivery always seems too asinine to take seriously – he followed up those allegations by affirming that “That happened, ladies and gentlemen!” That, in fact, did not happen .

Carlson went on to call the Colbert comedy routine “a meticulously planned coup … under the direct control of an extremist called Stephen Colbert.” He claimed that Colbert’s team “trashed the place, committing violence against our democracy.” Which is an absurd distortion of reality. Then he mocked the trauma experienced by journalists and members of Congress who were terrorized by the hundreds of StormTrumpers who were marauding through the Capitol calling for their deaths.

Was Carlson joking? It hardly matters. So much of what he said was uttered with a straight face and followed by a statement of affirmation. If it was satire it was executed so badly that its alleged humor was totally lost. And if it were his perverse attempt at comedy, it was a nauseatingly callous display that belittled the serious physical and emotional injuries suffered by the victims of Trump’s seditionists on January 6th.

But then, does anyone expect anything from Carlson other than malicious dishonesty and crackpot conspiracy theories? His whole raison d’etre is to spread ultra-rightist propaganda and divide the American people with flagrant lies. Pretty much exactly what his Dear Leader Trump is best known for. After all, he was actually defended in a defamation lawsuit by Fox News lawyers who told the court that “no reasonable person” would believe anything he said.

RELATED: Fox News Court Ruling: No ‘Reasonable Viewer’ Takes Tucker Carlson Seriously

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LOL: Donald Trump Jr is Peddling Mail-Order Meat in a Pathetic Reprise of Trump Steaks Debacle

Fifteen years ago Donald Trump suffered another in his seemingly endless stream of humiliating bankruptcies. His “tRump Steaks” went belly up when they couldn’t move them at either Sharper Image or QVC. Trump’s notorious record for catastrophic business failures encompasses such infamous fiascos as casinos (four of them), airlines, games, vodka, universities, and even fraudulent charities.

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Donald Trump Jr

Undaunted, Trump spawn Donnie Jr has embarked on another swing at beating his meat in public. If there’s one thing you can say for the Trump family, it’s that they are persistently free range grifters. It isn’t enough that Trump is pushing his failing social media scam on his dimwitted followers. Now, in honor of Father’s Day, Junior is reaching out to get his own daddy’s attention by beefing up his business flank:

RELATED: Elon Musk’s Bid for Twitter is in Big Trouble, and So is Trump’s TRUTH Social

https://twitter.com/MollyJongFast/status/1535708091810910213

Two things are notable right off the bat. First of all, the alleged meat is never seen in this commercial. You just have to take Donnie’s word for it that it’s not from an actual bat. Secondly, his use of the phrase “MAGAKING” to trigger the free grift is a reminder of Daddy Trump’s tyrannical and cult like aspirations. Fortunately for the Trump clan, their glassy-eyed disciples will follow the herd and consume whatever a Trump is selling. Including the cow pie deserts that come with the daily special. And for good measure, the company Donnie is fronting for has had its accreditation from the Better Business Bureau revoked.

So get yer doggies rollin’ folks. This is the only mail-in offer that Trump supports, and it won’t last long. Especially since these thawing steaks have already been in cold storage since the 2007 downfall of the original Trump Bar-B-QAnon. And don’t forget… They have the Bill Barr seal of approval…

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Jimmy Kimmel Hysterically Mocks Fox News for Whining About Biden Doing His Show

These are challenging times for President Biden and the Democratic Party as they face midterm elections that could see the Republicans winning majorities in one or both houses of Congress. And even though the economy is showing strength and jobs are being created at a record rate, many people are struggling with high inflation and gas prices, which no president has any control over.

Fox News, Sean Hannity, Jimmy Kimmel

In the face of these challenges, Biden is working hard to communicate with the American people a message that reflects the very real progress that has been made in the past year and a half. When people are aware of the stark differences between the current administration and the last one, they lean much more heavily toward Democrats.

RELATED: Voters are More Likely to Support Democrats When Told They are Running Against Trump, MAGA

Consequently, it shouldn’t surprise anyone that Biden chose to appear on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” Wednesday night to reach out to a broad sector of the public that may not be narrowly focused on politics. And as Kimmel noticed, “not everyone is thrilled” about that (video below). Kimmel shared that…

“It’s kind of exciting having the President come visit you at work. But not everyone is thrilled about his appearance here tonight. The folks over at Fox News, and the wannabe Fox News juniors, are very upset that the President is doing an interview with, of all people, me while he’s in town for the Summit of the Americas.”

Whereupon Kimmel played a supercut of Fox News shills babbling about how unspeakably horrendous it is for Biden to do what virtually every other president in the TV age has done: Appear on a late night talk show. The clip featured Laura Ingraham, who was livid that Biden might look “cuddly.” And then there was Newt Gingrich, who was furious that the show might make people laugh when they should be quivering in fear over gas prices and being raped or killed.

They were followed by a stream of similar doom-and-gloom mongers like Kayleigh McEnany, Brian Kilmeade, Bill Hemmer, and more, all complaining bitterly that an optimistic Biden chose to talk to the American people on a popular program that they watch and enjoy. Apparently Fox News thinks that people should only watch politics on programs that foment fear and spread lies. In other words, only Fox News. Kimmel’s response to that hysteria was to say that…

“I get what they’re saying. The President needs to be held accountable. You can’t just hide from the people who criticize you. The President needs to get in the box, and take the heat, and field the tough questions from real, hard hitting journalists like these.”

Then Kimmel played another supercut of sucking up by Fox News sycophants like Sean Hannity, Jeanine Pirro, Shannon Bream, Lou Dobbs, Laura Ingraham, and the “Curvy Couch” potatoes of Fox and Friends. What’s truly funny is that Fox can complain, with a straight face, about others not asking tough questions, when their whole shtick is fawning over Dear Leader Trump and other Republican hacks.

Kimmel also noted that Fox News announced that they would not be airing the House Select Committee’s January 6th hearings live so that they wouldn’t have to preempt shows like “Tucker Carlson Presents a Racist Cow Meows Confederate Battle Hymns.” How could Fox News carry one of the most historically significant congressional hearings in modern times when their own program hosts are likely to be featured among the accomplices who incited the Capitol Hill riots?

RELATED: Fox News Commits to Keeping Their Viewers Ignorant By Refusing to Air the January 6th Hearings

As it turns out, Kimmel asked much more relevant and probing questions than any of the Trump-fluffers on Fox News ever did. And Biden responded with intelligence, relevance, and yes, some humor. Which is why Fox News is so perturbed about the whole thing. The last thing they want is for the American people to see their President behaving like a decent, compassionate, knowledgeable, human being. They might contrast that with the obnoxious, ignorant, narcissistic, sociopath who preceded him.

UPDATE: Marjorie Taylor Greene, who has distinguished herself with commentaries about “Gazpacho Police,” “Peach Tree Dishes,” and “Jewish Space Lasers,” has added to her humiliations with a rant about “fragrantly” violated rights. She is also known for having claimed to have reported Kimmel to the police for brandishing humor:

SEE: Comedy Cop Marjorie Taylor Greene Reports Jimmy Kimmel to Capitol Police for Telling a Joke

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Video of Jimmy Kimmel’s smackdown of Fox News:

Video of President Biden on Jimmy Kimmel Live:

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The Condensed White House Correspondent’s Dinner Remarks About Fox News and Crybaby Trump

This year the White House Correspondent’s Dinner (WHCD) returned after a two year absence due to the COVID pandemic. What’s more it was the first time in six years that the President of the United States attended the formerly annual event. That’s because Donald Trump is too big a crybaby to sit through a program that might include a few jokes at his expense. So he boycotted every year during his occupation of the White House.

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Donald Trump, Snowflakes

In addition to his infantile emotional frailty, Trump is also too self-absorbed to want to help a charity, which is the reason the White House Correspondents Association holds this dinner. It’s purpose is to raise money for scholarships. But Trump’s snubbing of the dinner was all for the best because the president is expected to deliver his own humorous address at this affair. Just imagine how critically injured Trump would have been after falling on his … let’s say face while trying to be funny.

RELATED: Chickensh*t Trump Blows Off White House Correspondents Dinner: Paging Alec Baldwin

This year President Biden graciously accepted the invitation to attend and came prepared with an entertaining speech that was both comical and respectful of the fact that the world is struggling through trying times. Biden was followed by Trevor Noah, host of the Daily Show. And as a public service for those who were unable to watch the entirety of both performances, some highlights have been collected below. Specifically the ones relating to either Trump or Fox News. And for anyone who is interested, a transcript is here, and the full videos are also posted below. So without further ado…

Excerpts From President Biden’s Speech:

“This is the first time the president attended this dinner in six years. It’s understandable. We had a horrible plague followed by two years of COVID. […]

“Just imagine if my predecessor came to this dinner this year. Now that would really have been a real coup.” […]

“I know there are questions about whether we should gather here tonight because of COVID. Well, we’re here to show the country that we’re getting through this pandemic. Plus, everyone had to prove they were fully vaccinated and boosted. So, if you’re at home watching this and you’re wondering how to do that, just contact your favorite Fox News reporter. They’re all here vaccinated and boosted, all of them. […]

“And, look, Fox — Fox News, I’m really sorry your preferred candidate lost the last election. To make it up to you, I’m happy to give my Chief of Staff to you all so he can tell Sean Hannity what to say every day.”

Excerpts From Trevor Noah’s Speech:

“[Ron DeSantis has] been so busy trying to outmaneuver Trump for 2024. I see you, Ron. I see you, player. Yes, I’ve seen what you’ve been doing. Blaming Trump for the lockdowns, distancing yourself from the vaccines that Trump created with his own two hands.” […]

“Trump said he won the election. But everyone was just able to look at the numbers and see that he was wrong. That’s why Ron Desantis is one step ahead. First, you ban the math textbooks, then nobody knows how to count the votes.” […]

“And I will say, President Biden, that you are a big man here. A really big man. You could have targeted Donald Trump but instead, you chose to only raise taxes on billionaires. That was big of you. Really nice. Prove me wrong, show me the taxes.” […]

“You guys [in the press] are relentless. Every day you show up and every day you demand answers on the pressing issues of the day. And then Fox News asks about Hunter Biden. And I’ll be honest, though, I actually think that’s a good thing. I really do. I think people need to be held accountable if they’re using their dad’s name to get ahead in life. And I can’t think of anyone better to ask about that than Peter Doocy. Yes, wherever he is, Chris Wallace laughed at that joke.” […]

“Fox News is sort of like a waffle house. Yes, it’s relatively normal in the afternoon but as soon as the sun goes down, there’s a drunk lady named Jeanine threatening to fight every Mexican who comes in.” […]

“How about that Fox Primetime lineup, Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity, Laura Ingraham? Their coverage of COVID was really impactful. Their segments about vaccines moved their viewers – into the ICU.” […]

“Oh, Laura Ingraham. Wow. What can you say about her that hasn’t already been said by the antidefamation league?” […]

“Tucker Carlson, are you kidding me? That man is a beast. Who else could fill an entire show each night asking questions that Google could easily answer? Do vaccines work? Who really won the election? Who’s the president right now? Is this America? Gripping stuff.” […]

And there you have it. For the first time in six years America has a President who can laugh at himself; a President who isn’t afraid to give and take a few light-hearted punches; a President who doesn’t think the media is “the enemy of the people.”

You may have noticed that Biden didn’t say Trump’s name once. But that doesn’t mean that Trump won’t take offense. Taking offense is his resting attitude. It’s nearly twenty-four hours later and he hasn’t even mentioned the dinner or the jokes about him. So you know he’s privately seething. Poor baby.

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Trump Spokes-Shill Retweets Satirical Demand that ‘If We Can’t MAGA, Stay Home in November’

In the Wackified World of Donald Trump, the line between reality and farce has been irreparably blurred. Having set records for lying that will never be challenged, and establishing behavior that would embarrass a seven year old, the former reality TV game show host and twice impeached loser has permanently lowered the standards for participation in the allegedly modern Republican Party.

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Donald Trump Pacifier Fox

Where it was once possible to differentiate between news and satire, it is now frighteningly easy to accept as fact the most inane and bizarre reports attributed to Trump. After all, Trump has already humiliated himself by professing his belief that stealth fighters are actually invisible, and that windmills cause cancer, and that we should nuke hurricanes, and that George Washington’s Army took over airports, and that injecting bleach will cure COVID. Those are just a few of the indicators of the cognitive fitness of a self-described “stable genius.”

RELATED: Trump Does a Great Job of Proving How Pitifully Stupid He and His Cult Followers Are

On Friday morning Trump’s Twitter ban defying spokes-shill, Liz Harrington, provided additional evidence of his mental fracture, as if any more proof were needed. Harrington retweeted a post by a Twitter satirist who mocks Trump’s “Save America” messaging. The humorous version of a Trumpian statement said that…

“If the tough and freedom-loving candidates I’ve endorsed for Congress lose their primaries this summer, I invite all the Great MAGA Patriots to BOYCOTT the midterm elections in November. There’s no point in GOP majorities if Mitch McConnell is calling all the shots. Apparently he’s saying my candidates are crazy and unelectable, but he’s the biggest RINO in history! So we don’t want a Senate full of weak losers like Mike Pence, Mitt Romney, and their Menopausal Friends who won’t say the election was RIGGED. So if we can’t MAGA, stay home in November!”

For the record, the original tweet was posted by Halfway Post, a Twitter user whose profile says that they do “Dada journalism, satire & liberal comedy by @DashMacIntyre. I don’t report the facts, I improve them. My book: ‘SATIRE IN THE TRUMP YEARS'”. So it is, by definition, comedy, not disinformation.

The problem with Trump having his mouthpiece post this comical comment, in the way that she did, is that there is no way to ascertain that it is satire. It reeks of genuine Trumpiness. What part of that tweet could not be credibly attributed to Trump? His criticism of McConnell, Pence, Romney, and other “RINOs”, along with his bitter misogyny and fixation on the 2020 election, are hallmarks of Trump’s rancid rhetoric. In fact, it is such an authentic recreation that it mirrors things that Trump has actually said. For instance…

OH NOES! Trump Threatens that If Election Fraud Isn’t Solved ‘Republicans Will Not Be Voting”

Harrington’s caption of the satirical tweet merely said “Oh look, they’re spreading disinformation again.” She didn’t say who “they” are, or even what the disinformation was. Anyone not paying close attention might easily come away thinking that the retweet was actually Trump’s message. And when have Trump’s cult followers ever been known (or able) to pay close attention to anything?

It’s also hysterically ironic whenever Trump or his flunkies dare to accuse others of spreading disinformation. That’s Trump’s thing. He does it virtually every day. And like other cult leaders before him, his devotees believe every word of it. If we’re lucky they will believe that this tweet is Trump’s actual comment and take his advice. And since he’s said the same thing in all seriousness before, they would still be fulfilling his demands.

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Comedy Cop Marjorie Taylor Greene Reports Jimmy Kimmel to Capitol Police for Telling a Joke

Marjorie Taylor Greene has made a name for herself as perhaps the most deranged and extremist member of an already extremist right-wing Republican caucus in the House of Representatives. Her frequent, and often bizarre, tirades have fueled division and hostility. Which was clearly her intention. It’s why she was suspended from Twitter for disseminating disinformation.

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Marjorie Taylor Greene, Gun

Now Greene has appointed herself as the Chief of the Comedy Police on Capitol Hill. Revealing herself to be the flakiest of GOP snowflakes, Greene lashed out against late night talk show host Jimmy Kimmel in response to a joke that she regarded as a threat. So she did what any red-blooded American goofball would do. She reported him to the police. For the record, this is joke that triggered “Empty” Greene:

“This woman, ‘Klan Mom,’ is especially upset with three Republican senators who said they’ll vote ‘yes’ on Judge Ketanji Brown Jackson, who is nominated for the Supreme Court. she tweeted ‘Murkowski, Collins, and Romney are pro-pedophile. They just voted for #KBJ.’ Wow. Where is Will Smith when you really need him?””

Greene was so perturbed by the nomination of an eminently qualified Black woman to the Supreme Court that she was compelled to viciously malign her Republican colleagues in the Senate. Here is Greene’s announcement of the police filing, and Kimmel’s succinct reply:

This would be good time to remind people that it was Greene who gave a speech advocating that Nancy Pelosi be executed as a traitor” Greene also complained about what she called Pelosi’s “gazpacho police” (she meant Gestapo).

And that was not the only time that Greene sought to associate Pelosi with Nazis. She previously compared the House rule requiring members to wear masks during the height of the pandemic to the Holocaust. Because protecting people from a deadly virus is exactly the same as murdering millions of innocent people by gas.

There is a stark irony about Greene reporting Kimmel to the Capitol Police. Her prior history with that law enforcement agency is fraught with hypocrisy and animus. She notoriously supported the deadly riots took place in Washington, D.C. on January 6th, where more than 140 officers were injured, and five subsequently died. And she was among 21 Republicans who voted against honoring the Capitol Police with Congressional Gold Medals because she objected to referring to the insurrection as an insurrection.

Now Greene wants the Capitol Police to protect her from the ravages of rampaging humor. And yet, somehow, she thinks that people should still take her seriously. Yeah, that’ll happen. Maybe after Kimmel slaps her – with a lawsuit for filing a false police report.

UPDATE: Kimmel replied to Greene’s probably phony police report in his Thursday night monologue. He files a phony police report of his own:

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4REAL! GOP Senators Oppose Ketanji Brown Jackson for Supreme Court Because She’s Too Qualified

The Republican Party has for decades devoted itself to a platform of nothing more substantive than obstructing the good faith efforts of Democrats to advance the interests of the American people. They are proudly anti-government, which makes them a dreadfully poor choice for holding any position of power in the service of the public.

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Donald Trump, Republican, GOP

The GOP (Greedy One Percent) is a party that is defined mainly by what they are against. They oppose taxes, immigration, the environment, consumer protections, and the rights of voters, minorities, women, and workers.

Now, as President Biden’s nominee for the Supreme Court, Ketanji Brown Jackson, is being confirmed by the Senate, the Republican members of the Judiciary Committee have revealed themselves to be steadfastly against justices who have the “drawbacks” of being experienced and qualified.

RELATED: Tucker Carlson of Fox News Says Biden Chose Ketanji Brown Jackson to ‘Destroy’ the Supreme Court

This characterization of Republican obstructionism is not hyperbole. It can be heard in their own words as they announce their intentions to vote against Judge Brown. The Daily Show has helpfully complied the statements of opposition by the Committee’s GOP blockaders, who shamelessly maligned Judge Jackson during the hearings, along with their utterly unreasonable reasons for doing so:

For the record, the Republicans featured in this video are John Cornyn, Josh Hawley, Mike Lee, Marsha Blackburn, Thom Tillis, Chuck Grassley, and Lindsey Graham. And they all delivered remarks that at first effusively praised Jackson’s qualifications and integrity, before announcing that they would vote against her. It’s almost as if Jackson’s qualifications and integrity were the reasons for their “no” vote. And in a sense that’s true.

Republicans are scared witless of intelligent and accomplished people like Jackson because it blows apart their malicious mission to portray them all as moochers, criminals, and degenerates. And they are so averse to the notion of confirming an admirable Black woman who was nominated by a Democratic president that they have allowed whatever measure of rationality, principle, or patriotism to leak out of their tiny, partisan, racist minds.

RELATED: Fox News Floats Ludicrous New Criteria For Confirming Biden’s Supreme Court Nominees

To date the vast majority of Republican senators are planning to vote against Jackson. Only three have have indicated that they will vote to confirm her (Lisa Murkowski, Susan Collins, and Mitt Romney). And what they get for their bipartisan integrity is rancid animosity from fellow Republicans like Marjorie Taylor Greene who tweeted…

That sort of repulsive defamation is standard operating procedure for the GOP. It’s also not surprising coming from the party of QAnon that has been so obsessed with crackpot conspiracy theories about child abuse and sex trafficking run out of pizza parlor basements. That’s seriously the devolutionary state of today’s Republican Party. And while The Daily Show is adept at ridiculing it, the comedy only goes so far when the reality is even worse.

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Jimmy Kimmel Rewinds Trump to Remind the Fox News ‘Bobbleheads’ How Humiliating He Was

This week President Biden met with reporters for a Q & A that set a record as the longest presidential press conference ever. He took questions from a broad array of media, including the most unfriendly and flagrantly biased members of the press corps, Fox News and Newsmax, whom he handily dispatched with grace and humor.

Fox News, Sean Hannity, Jimmy Kimmel

However, Biden’s endurance, command of the issues, and respectful demeanor didn’t deter knee jerk criticism from the Trump-fluffing Fox “News” hacks who made up their minds to hate Biden’s performance before the event began. The post-conference coverage on Fox News was predictably and uniformly negative, albeit lacking in any substantive critique.

Leading the parade of professional party poopers at Fox were Sean Hannity and Laura Ingraham. They engaged in a mutual denigration society segment that cemented their reputations as TV vermin with this reality-challenged analysis of the Biden presser:

Ingraham: (Laughing) It was a nightmare. Oh my God! It was about the worst that I can remember from a president, frankly.
Hannity: I honestly as an American – and I don’t say this with any joy – I felt embarrassed. I felt it’s humiliating.

“The worst”? “Humiliating”? Have these two clowns ever seen a Donald Trump press conference? Have they already forgotten the embarrassing display that Trump put on every time he faced the media that he maligned in Stalinist terms as “the enemy of the people”?

Fortunately, Jimmy Kimmel was there to remind them with video documentation of Trump’s infantile, hostile, and cringeworthy behavior. Kimmel introduced the evidence saying that…

“The bobbleheads over at Fox News had a lot of fun with Biden’s press conference yesterday. Here’s the comedy team of Hannity and Ingraham with their in-depth and unbiased analysis of when Biden met the press.”

Talk about humiliating! Trump couldn’t open his mouth without making an asinine display of ignorance and seething animus toward anyone and anything that he regarded as less than unflinchingly adoring. And Trump had his own misrepresentation of what Biden said at the presser. He lied that Biden had “admitted” that there was election fraud in 2020. Of course, Biden never said anything of the sort. But in Trump’s world there are no facts allowed. Which makes this segment with attorney Ethan Bearman, that aired Thursday night, such a rare occurrence by a truthteller on Fox:

Ingraham and Hannity really shouldn’t attempt to mock others. they are terrible at it, and they are too big as targets themselves to risk it. Last year Hannity threatened Kimmel to stop talking about him and his show. And look how that went went.

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Tacky Tucker Carlson ‘Mistakes’ Nancy Pelosi for Michael Jackson – And He Thinks That’s … Funny?

For anyone who has wondered what makes Tucker Carlson the top rated program on Fox News, Carlson has helpfully provided the answer to that perplexing question. In order to achieve that kind of popularity among Fox’s audience of dimwitted deplorables, you really need to dig deep into the well of infantile asininity. And no one does that better than Tucker Carlson.

Fox News, Tucker Carlson

On Monday night’s episode of Carlson’s show, the ordinarily humor-challenged host morphed into a kindergarten comic. Carlson demonstrated that he can wallow in the mud as well as any other pig. And to prove it, he aired a segment that is representative of his stunted maturation and venal character, or lack thereof. The bit focused on Carlson’s witless view that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi resembles the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson (embarrassing video below). He began…

“Yesterday was Sunday and you may have found yourself on the couch idly flipping around the TV dial, and if you flipped far enough you could have had the shock of your life. Michael Jackson was on Face the Nation. Let’s be clear, this wasn’t a video of Michael Jackson performing his hit songs of the 1990s. This appeared to be a living version of the international pop star that news reports claimed died of a drug OD more than a dozen years ago. And yet despite those claims there he was, fully, undeniably Michael Jackson talking on television. How can that be? Honestly, we have no idea. We’re not theologians here. This is merely a news program. We can only show you what we saw. Here it is.”

Whereupon Carlson cut to a video clip of Pelosi on Face the Nation making a rather salient point about how the Republican Party has been engaging in voter suppression and other anti-democratic acts aimed at undermining free and fair elections, saying that…

“There is nothing more important we can do than protect our Constitution and democracy. What the Republicans are doing across the country is really a legislative continuation of what they did on January 6th, which is to undermine our democracy.”

In response to that potent political reality, Carlson sunk to the occasion by concluding…

“See? Michael Jackson. That was him. No ‘Billie Jean.’ Apparently, he’s given up singing and is telling lies about politics. Same man. If you’ve ever seen Michael Jackson, you cannot forget the face – though admittedly, he’s had a lot of work done since we saw him last.”

Hilarious, isn’t it? This is the level of intellectual discourse that has made Carlson and Fox News such a ratings magnet for reprehensible rightists and brain damaged Trump cultists. He obviously couldn’t engage in a substantive debate, so he fell back on childish insults that no self-respecting juvenile delinquent would resort to. And this is worse than a bad joke. It’s a bitterly misogynistic attack on a woman of substance, disparaging her physically in order to ignore her compelling pleadings on behalf of American democracy.

Carlson is best known for crackpot conspiracy carping, such as his recent crocumentary, “Patriot Purge,” that accused the the FBI of orchestrating Donald Trump’s January 6th insurrection in Washington, D.C. He took Russia’s side against America and democracy. He slobbered all over Hungarian dictator Viktor Orbán. He is an ardent advocate of the racist “white replacement theory.” And he is a vaccinated anti-vaxxer who spreads paranoid lies that vaccines don’t work and “they” aren’t telling you.

Carlson’s petty and personal attack on Pelosi is pretty pathetic. And he is really the last person who should risk venturing down the path of insults to appearances. After all, he is someone burdened with resting “Is that poop in my Depends” face. He reeks with the forbearance of the frozen fish heir elitism from which he was spawned. And he could be mistaken for a gene-modifying clone experiment of Three Stooges icon, Curly Howard, that went horribly wrong…

Other than that, Carlson can rest easy with the knowledge that his own lawyers at Fox News defended him in a defamation lawsuit by successfully arguing that no reasonable person would take him seriously. Perhaps we can now exclude unreasonable persons and bratty toddlers as well.

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Fox News Says They Will ‘Build Back Better’ After Their Christmas Tree Fire – No, REALLY!

Tuesday night America, and everything that it stands for, was viciously attacked in an unspeakably despicable act of violence. At least that’s what Fox News wants you to believe. And it’s far more than random vandalism. This time “It’s personal to you. It’s personal to us.”

Fox News, Christmas Tree Fire

The latest “Crime of the Century” according to the “Curvy Couch” potatoes of Fox and Friends was the torching of the Christmas tree installed in front of their Manhattan office building. ABC News reports that…

“A large Christmas tree outside Fox’s Midtown headquarters was set ablaze early Wednesday by an arsonist who was quickly taken into custody. […] Police say the 49-year-old suspect climbed up ‘the metal superstructure’ — the tree is an artificial sculpture that is shaped to look like a tree — lit papers he brought with him on fire, and shoved the papers into the tree structure.”

Let’s just set aside the metaphorical relevancy of the Fox News Christmas tree being a “fake.” This act of arson has much greater symbolic meaning to the Fox News crew. This burning Xmas bush has stirred more fury among these martinets of virtue than Donald Trump’s attempted coup, the January 6th insurrection, or the COVID death toll. Co-host Ainsley Earhardt expressed her outrage saying that…

“This is an American icon. This is our Christmas tree. Someone setting fire to it. What is happening to our country? It is so terrifying as a mother and someone who loves this country and loves the red, white, and blue. What is happening.”

That’s right. The artificial “metal superstructure” adorning the plaza in front of Fox’s headquarters is the embodiment of everything that is American. And it’s reduction to ashes is roasting her chestnuts. Because…

“It’s a tree that unites us. It brings us together. It’s about the Christmas spirit. It is about the holiday season. It’s about Jesus. It’s about Hanukkah. It is about everything that we stand for as a country: Freedom and being able to worship the way that you want to worship. It makes me so mad. […] I hope we build it back bigger and better.”

Wait up. Now Earhardt is signing on to President Biden’s “Build Back Better” plan, but only with regard to a corporate promotional tree? And since when is a Christmas tree “about Hanukkah”? That one is going to need some explaining. But Earhardt is yearning for explanations as she ponders “What is happening to our country?” Apparently this criminal mischief is representative of more alarming adversities in America than just fiery religious symbols. Like maybe gay Legos, or the alleged Santa shortage.

During the segment, co-host Steve Doocy asked “Who set the Christmas tree on fire?” Never mind that the NYPD had already arrested a suspect who appears to be a mentally challenged homeless man. If Doocy is still looking for a guilty party, he need look no further than Fox’s messiah, Donald Trump, who is reported to have said that he intends to “wreck Fox News.” Trump has been bashing Fox for months because they haven’t been sufficiently behind his “Big Lie” that the 2020 presidential the election was “rigged” and “stolen” from him. And another suspect could be the MyPillow guy, Mike Lindell, who recently staged a rather pathetic protest in front of Fox’s office. (UPDATE: Fox News still can’t quit their fixation on this tree arson catastrophe)

Nowhere is the animosity toward Fox News more fierce than among the Trump Cult, who still believe that Fox called the Arizona election results for Biden prematurely. So any of Trump’s dimwitted disciples could be considered suspects. And rest assured that Newsmax or OAN will get Rudy Giuliani on the case any day now. In the meantime, enjoy this amusing holiday carol that really hits the right note:

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How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
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