Day: 1/11/2022

Tacky Tucker Carlson ‘Mistakes’ Nancy Pelosi for Michael Jackson – And He Thinks That’s … Funny?

Posted by on January 11, 2022 at 4:10 pm. 1 Comments :

For anyone who has wondered what makes Tucker Carlson the top rated program on Fox News, Carlson has helpfully provided the answer to that perplexing question. In order to achieve that kind of popularity among Fox’s audience of dimwitted deplorables, you really need to dig deep into the well of infantile asininity. And no one does that better than Tucker Carlson.

Fox News, Tucker Carlson

On Monday night’s episode of Carlson’s show, the ordinarily humor-challenged host morphed into a kindergarten comic. Carlson demonstrated that he can wallow in the mud as well as any other pig. And to prove it, he aired a segment that is representative of his stunted maturation and venal character, or lack thereof. The bit focused on Carlson’s witless view that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi resembles the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson (embarrassing video below). He began…

“Yesterday was Sunday and you may have found yourself on the couch idly flipping around the TV dial, and if you flipped far enough you could have had the shock of your life. Michael Jackson was on Face the Nation. Let’s be clear, this wasn’t a video of Michael Jackson performing his hit songs of the 1990s. This appeared to be a living version of the international pop star that news reports claimed died of a drug OD more than a dozen years ago. And yet despite those claims there he was, fully, undeniably Michael Jackson talking on television. How can that be? Honestly, we have no idea. We’re not theologians here. This is merely a news program. We can only show you what we saw. Here it is.”

Whereupon Carlson cut to a video clip of Pelosi on Face the Nation making a rather salient point about how the Republican Party has been engaging in voter suppression and other anti-democratic acts aimed at undermining free and fair elections, saying that…

“There is nothing more important we can do than protect our Constitution and democracy. What the Republicans are doing across the country is really a legislative continuation of what they did on January 6th, which is to undermine our democracy.”

In response to that potent political reality, Carlson sunk to the occasion by concluding…

“See? Michael Jackson. That was him. No ‘Billie Jean.’ Apparently, he’s given up singing and is telling lies about politics. Same man. If you’ve ever seen Michael Jackson, you cannot forget the face – though admittedly, he’s had a lot of work done since we saw him last.”

Hilarious, isn’t it? This is the level of intellectual discourse that has made Carlson and Fox News such a ratings magnet for reprehensible rightists and brain damaged Trump cultists. He obviously couldn’t engage in a substantive debate, so he fell back on childish insults that no self-respecting juvenile delinquent would resort to. And this is worse than a bad joke. It’s a bitterly misogynistic attack on a woman of substance, disparaging her physically in order to ignore her compelling pleadings on behalf of American democracy.

Carlson is best known for crackpot conspiracy carping, such as his recent crocumentary, “Patriot Purge,” that accused the the FBI of orchestrating Donald Trump’s January 6th insurrection in Washington, D.C. He took Russia’s side against America and democracy. He slobbered all over Hungarian dictator Viktor Orbán. He is an ardent advocate of the racist “white replacement theory.” And he is a vaccinated anti-vaxxer who spreads paranoid lies that vaccines don’t work and “they” aren’t telling you.

Carlson’s petty and personal attack on Pelosi is pretty pathetic. And he is really the last person who should risk venturing down the path of insults to appearances. After all, he is someone burdened with resting “Is that poop in my Depends” face. He reeks with the forbearance of the frozen fish heir elitism from which he was spawned. And he could be mistaken for a gene-modifying clone experiment of Three Stooges icon, Curly Howard, that went horribly wrong…

Other than that, Carlson can rest easy with the knowledge that his own lawyers at Fox News defended him in a defamation lawsuit by successfully arguing that no reasonable person would take him seriously. Perhaps we can now exclude unreasonable persons and bratty toddlers as well.

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GOP Pipsqueak Madison Cawthorn Imagines that Rhodes Scholar Rachel Maddow is Afraid to Debate Him

Posted by on January 11, 2022 at 11:17 am. 4 Comments :

There is an epic battle brewing on the InterTubes between a freshman Republican congressman and a seasoned political broadcaster that threatens to leave one of them in shreds. Were this a title match in professional boxing the bout would be called off by the refs to prevent a mauling.

Rachel Maddow

Republican Rep. Madison Cawthorn took the ill-advised step of taunting MSNBC’s Rachel Maddow after receiving an errant email that he totally misinterpreted. The email was sent by a producer for the The Rachel Maddow Show to an NBC News colleague, but was mistakenly cc’ed to Cawthorn. The producer asked the colleague to contact Cawthorn’s office for a comment because s/he was…

“…a little worried that if we did inquire he might ask to come on and explain. I know that is HIGHLY doubtful, but don’t want to take that risk.”

Copying Cawthorn’s office on this email was an unfortunate mistake. But Cawthorn’s conclusions as to its meaning are hysterically misconstrued. He, and much of the right-wing Twitterverse, have taken it to mean that Maddow is afraid to debate him.

Seriously? Cawthorn is a first-term representative from North Carolina. He was a D student in college until he dropped out. And he now encourages others to also quit because he says that schools are a scam.

Maddow, on the other hand, is a Rhodes Scholar and an experienced political analyst and communicator. Any intellectual contest between them would be a blood bath for little Madison. But that appears to be what he’s yearning for, based on this tweet…

The subject of the proposed debate would be a challenge just filed by a group of North Carolina voters asserting that Cawthorn should be disqualified from running due to the constitutional prohibition of candidates who have engaged in insurrection against the United States. Cawthorn’s speech at Donald Trump’s January 6th rally that preceded the insurrection at the Capitol, as well as his baseless and anti-democratic objections to the 2020 presidential election, form the basis for the legal challenge.

Cawthorn told Fox News that…

“Fake news MSNBC doesn’t want to ‘take the risk’ that I’ll come on their show and trigger the left with my America First message and burst their woke dystopian bubble.

The only thing that the left would be “triggered” to is uncontrollable laughter. Cawthorn demonstrates his cognitive deficiencies in that statement by regurgitating tedious wingnut slogans about “fake news” and “woke dystopian bubbles” (whatever the hell that is).

Cawthorn’s belief that Maddow is afraid to debate could land him in a torrent of trouble. First of all, it wasn’t Maddow who said anything about a “risk” of having Cawthorn on her program. It was a producer who was likely more concerned about booking a known liar who contributed to inciting the riots in Washington, D.C.

For her part, Maddow probably wouldn’t want to waste airtime on this mental munchkin. But if she did she’d have no trouble disposing of him. And it would almost be worth the “risk” of sitting through a televised slaughter to watch her do it.

NOTE: Twitter suspended the News Corpse account after 11 years without giving a reason. So if anyone wants to tweet articles from my website, please feel free to do so often and repeatedly.

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