For anyone who has wondered what makes Tucker Carlson the top rated program on Fox News, Carlson has helpfully provided the answer to that perplexing question. In order to achieve that kind of popularity among Fox’s audience of dimwitted deplorables, you really need to dig deep into the well of infantile asininity. And no one does that better than Tucker Carlson.
On Monday night’s episode of Carlson’s show, the ordinarily humor-challenged host morphed into a kindergarten comic. Carlson demonstrated that he can wallow in the mud as well as any other pig. And to prove it, he aired a segment that is representative of his stunted maturation and venal character, or lack thereof. The bit focused on Carlson’s witless view that House Speaker Nancy Pelosi resembles the late King of Pop, Michael Jackson (embarrassing video below). He began…
“Yesterday was Sunday and you may have found yourself on the couch idly flipping around the TV dial, and if you flipped far enough you could have had the shock of your life. Michael Jackson was on Face the Nation. Let’s be clear, this wasn’t a video of Michael Jackson performing his hit songs of the 1990s. This appeared to be a living version of the international pop star that news reports claimed died of a drug OD more than a dozen years ago. And yet despite those claims there he was, fully, undeniably Michael Jackson talking on television. How can that be? Honestly, we have no idea. We’re not theologians here. This is merely a news program. We can only show you what we saw. Here it is.”
Whereupon Carlson cut to a video clip of Pelosi on Face the Nation making a rather salient point about how the Republican Party has been engaging in voter suppression and other anti-democratic acts aimed at undermining free and fair elections, saying that…
“There is nothing more important we can do than protect our Constitution and democracy. What the Republicans are doing across the country is really a legislative continuation of what they did on January 6th, which is to undermine our democracy.”
In response to that potent political reality, Carlson sunk to the occasion by concluding…
“See? Michael Jackson. That was him. No ‘Billie Jean.’ Apparently, he’s given up singing and is telling lies about politics. Same man. If you’ve ever seen Michael Jackson, you cannot forget the face – though admittedly, he’s had a lot of work done since we saw him last.”
Hilarious, isn’t it? This is the level of intellectual discourse that has made Carlson and Fox News such a ratings magnet for reprehensible rightists and brain damaged Trump cultists. He obviously couldn’t engage in a substantive debate, so he fell back on childish insults that no self-respecting juvenile delinquent would resort to. And this is worse than a bad joke. It’s a bitterly misogynistic attack on a woman of substance, disparaging her physically in order to ignore her compelling pleadings on behalf of American democracy.
Carlson is best known for crackpot conspiracy carping, such as his recent crocumentary, “Patriot Purge,” that accused the the FBI of orchestrating Donald Trump’s January 6th insurrection in Washington, D.C. He took Russia’s side against America and democracy. He slobbered all over Hungarian dictator Viktor Orbán. He is an ardent advocate of the racist “white replacement theory.” And he is a vaccinated anti-vaxxer who spreads paranoid lies that vaccines don’t work and “they” aren’t telling you.
Carlson’s petty and personal attack on Pelosi is pretty pathetic. And he is really the last person who should risk venturing down the path of insults to appearances. After all, he is someone burdened with resting “Is that poop in my Depends” face. He reeks with the forbearance of the frozen fish heir elitism from which he was spawned. And he could be mistaken for a gene-modifying clone experiment of Three Stooges icon, Curly Howard, that went horribly wrong…
Tucker Carlson is a stooge. pic.twitter.com/4z5uXKI5wj
— The USA Singers (@TheUSASingers) May 24, 2021
Other than that, Carlson can rest easy with the knowledge that his own lawyers at Fox News defended him in a defamation lawsuit by successfully arguing that no reasonable person would take him seriously. Perhaps we can now exclude unreasonable persons and bratty toddlers as well.
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Michael Jackson was spotted on live television over the weekend. pic.twitter.com/Y9Cc3J3A89
— Tucker Carlson (@TuckerCarlson) January 11, 2022
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