More Glenn Beck Messianic Delusions

It is beginning to look like I may have to start a new blog just to document Glenn Beck’s growing collection of messianic tribulations. If ever a man was obsessed with his own vision of a doomed world that only he can rescue, it’s little Glenny B.

On today’s program he broadcast another plea to his disciples to be wary of any tales of his demise:

“You ever see those movies where they say, ‘I gave a note to my attorney, and if I’m found dead, open the note.’ I kind of feel like you’re my attorney. If I show up, you know, in Thailand, dead from auto-erotic asphyxiation, don’t believe it.”

This comes just weeks after he warned

“If I’m ever in a weird car accident, or I commit suicide or something, after the media stops celebrating my death, could they check into it? Because I’m not suicidal. And I’m a pretty good driver.”

And it was just last week that he blew his secret dog whistle:

“I fear that there will come a time when I cannot say things that I am currently saying. I fear that it will come to television and to radio, and I will stop saying these things. Understand me clearly. Hear me now. If I ever stop saying these things, you will know why. Because I will have made a choice that I can only say certain things, and I haven’t lost all of the rights. But know that these things are true. And if you hear me stop saying these things, it’s because I can no longer say them to you. But hear them between the sentences. Hear them, please. I will be screaming them to you.”

So in the event that Beck is assassinated by zombie agents from the Gamma Quadrant, we are now all baptized as translators of the scripture that he has been screaming at us. It is an awesome responsibility, but one we undertake for the welfare of mankind.

Klaatu barada nikto!


3 thoughts on “More Glenn Beck Messianic Delusions

  1. I hope your articles are getting a lot of exposure…I get the feeling that at some point, you’re going to be able to look back and say to the world, ” I told you so.”

    I hope you’re wrong, but the signs are difficult to ignore…

    • Thanks. I’m just your average left-wing loon trying to get the truth out.

      I’m not looking for an “I told you so” moment. The best outcome I could hope for is that someone intervenes and gets Beck the help he so obviously needs and his followers are brought back from the brink of their wacko worship.

      • yeah, you are awesome, mark. im always looking forward to reading your postings. keep up the good work.

Comments are closed.