Now they’ve done it. The folks at Levis have made a powerful enemy. Glenn Beck is appalled by the new commercial for Levis that features young people in situations wherein they appear to be challenging authority.

Oh my heavens, fetch the smellin’ salts. Glenn Beck has the vapors. All because of a commercial for blue jeans that shows young people doing what young people always do. Beck interprets this ad as a statement of Levis’ solidarity with thugs, revolutionaries, and probably agents of the global Muslim Caliphate that is plotting to take over the world.

The commercial aired during ESPN’s Monday Night Football where it likely perverted the minds of millions of young sports fans. Soon they will be donning their Levis, rampaging through our cities and defiling our daughters.

Thank God that Beck is here to warn us of the impending danger. He has sprung into action saying that “I am turning my red tabs in. I will not wear a pair of Levi’s. Won’t do it.” I’m sure this will come as a relief to Levis who don’t need the bad publicity or the visual imagery. Beck is not exactly Levis’ target market. In fact, Beck coming out against Levis may be more valuable to the company than the offending commercial. After all, Beck’s audience notably skews to the elderly cranks who see Andy Rooney as a juvenile delinquent.

There may be an additional reason for Beck’s hysterics. He announced earlier this year that he is launching his own line of apparel. Perhaps he is making a preemptive strike against a potential competitor. If he can get his disciples to abandon Levis for his Jesus Jeans (or whatever he calls them), he could make a bundle.

Finally, Beck’s hypocrisy cannot be left unmentioned. When he announced his clothing venture he also revealed the logo which consists of a skull wearing a crown and the slogan, “Death To Tyranny.”

So Beck is castigating Levis for displaying kids engaged in acts of youthful defiance of authority – you know – the sort of independence that results in the toppling of dictators and the general pursuit of liberty. Yet the logo for his own clothing company expresses the same sentiment. One difference is that Beck’s slogan is more overtly violent with its pointed reference to death.

Beck is shameless in his hypocrisy. He spent much of the summer belittling the Arab Spring, the movement of brave young protesters who removed tyrants in Tunisia, Egypt, and Libya, and are continuing the movement in Yemen, Syria, and elsewhere. His phony sloganeering demonstrates the impotence of his crass attempt to enrich himself by pretending to want to kill tyrants. The truth is that if Beck came face-to-face with an actual tyrant he would surely need a new pair of Levis.