We are learning much about Sen. John McCain as he continues to reveal more of his “straight-talking” personality in the course of his presidential campaign. For instance, how many of us knew what a transcendent[al] wit he possessed? The following is just a brief selection of his classics:

• Why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly? Because her father was Janet Reno!
• Bomb bomb bomb bomb bomb Iran (sung to the tune of the Beach Boys’ Barbara Ann).
• How about those exports of cigarettes to Iran? Maybe that’s a way of killing them.
• A woman is attacked on the street by a gorilla, beaten senseless, raped repeatedly and left to die. When she finally regains consciousness and tries to speak, her doctor leans over to hear her sigh contently and to feebly ask, “Where is that marvelous ape?”
• The French remind me a little bit of an aging actress of the 1940s who is still trying to dine out on her looks but doesn’t have the face for it.

That’s right. McCain, who describes himself as being older than dirt with more scars than Frankenstein, has not even shied away from jokes about age, for which he now condemns others.

• The Leisure World community should be renamed “Seizure World.” It’s a place where 97 percent of the people vote and the other 3 percent are in intensive care.
• The nice thing about Alzheimer’s is you get to hide your own Easter eggs.
• By 2008, I think I might be ready to go down to the old soldiers home.

That last one was directed at his own presidential aspirations way back in 2000. So he is not only humorous, but prescient. With talent like this it is surprising that he is wasting his time in politics. He could be a contestant on The Last Comic Wheezing.