Fox News Escalates the War on Christmas with Report on Biden’s ‘Nationwide Santa Shortage’

“The most wonderful time of the year…” is upon us again: The War on Christmas! This annual observance of asininity by right-wing armies of derp celebrates the imaginary assault on the winter holiday that purports revere the Christian Prince of Peace. So Fox News considers it appropriate to wage a contrived war on unsuspecting holiday revelers.

Fox News, Christmas, Coronavirus

The latest front in this battle of twits took place during Wednesday’s episode of Fox’s American Newsroom. Co-host Bill Hemmer introduced the segment saying that “Thanks to a growing shortage of Santas, HireSanta [dot com] reports a 10% decrease in Santas this year versus a 121% increase in demand. Hemmer speculated, therefore, that “Even Santa doesn’t want to work in this economy.” And of course, this is all President Biden’s fault, as was pointed out in the tweet of this breaking news by the Republican National Committee:

There’s a lot that Fox News left out of this shocking and exclusive exposé. For instance, what role did the global supply chain disruption play in the unavailability of Santas in America? And what is Biden doing to address it? Are there Santas backlogged on cargo ships in clogged port facilities?

What’s more, is Biden responsible for a decline in Christmas spirit due to this seasonally inconvenient Santa shortage? Or, conversely, does the higher demand for Santas this year mean that the spirit of Christmas is stronger during Biden’s term than during that of Donald Trump?

Fox News also failed to investigate the possible reasons for this unsettling Santa deficit. Could it have something to do with the COVID pandemic? After all, the coronavirus disproportionately impacts the demographic from which Santas are recruited: older people and those who are overweight.

There may be many of those potential Santas who succumbed to COVID in the past couple of years. The survivors may be hesitant to place themselves in jeopardy. Particularly with all of the unvaccinated children who would be sitting on their laps and possibly coughing and sneezing in close proximity.

Contrary to the framing of Fox News, the scarcity of Santas is most likely due to Fox News itself for disseminating blatant disinformation about the pandemic. And Trump and his administration’s aversion to mitigation measures, such as vaccines, masks, and social distancing is equally responsibly for the dearth of Santas. Had the public health experts been heeded, this pandemic might have ended long ago and Santas would be plentiful. Instead, Santa’s Village may be somewhat desolate this year, unless younger Santas with pillows take up the slack.

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How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Fox News Host Bashes ‘Medical Tyrants’ in ‘War on Christmas’ Coronavirus Rant

As the nation continues to suffer through a wave of surging coronavirus infections, hospitalizations, and deaths, Donald Trump remains distant and uncaring. He is still obsessed with proving that he beat Joe Biden by a landslide, despite failing to provide any evidence of it and losing more than sixty court cases challenging the election.

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Fox News, Christmas, Coronavirus

Naturally, Fox News is feeling acute remorse on Trump’s behalf. But like him, they couldn’t care less about the American people who are struggling with a deadly health crisis and the economic calamity that accompanies it. On Wednesday evening, Fox’s Laura Ingraham presented a segment that demonstrated just how heartless – and dishonest – she and her network can be. As if that hasn’t been made clear a thousand times in the past year.

The segment featured graphics complaining about “Medical Tyrants Stripping Personal Freedoms,” and that the “Medical Establishment Declares War on Christmas.” You have to admire Ingraham’s ability to malign doctors as both tyrants and anti-Christmas warriors. The rant began with Ingraham blaming the entire “medical cartel” abomination on Biden, who won’t be president for another month (video below):

“While Biden outsources our freedoms to China, he’s gonna let the medical cartel eviscerate your personal liberties here at home. Now remember all those warnings about traveling during Thanksgiving and getting together with friends and family? I guess they didn’t celebrate in the Midwest and great plains because cases in those regions are plummeting. Well, of course they celebrated. These predictions often don’t come to pass.”

If you remember all the warnings about traveling during Thanksgiving, then you should be aware that such gatherings actually did contribute to the spike in COVID-19 infections. In fact, by every measure the pandemic is far worse now than at any time since it first appeared. Ingraham cherry-picked a region wherein there was some temporary decline, but she ignored the national data that refutes her preposterous contention that cases and deaths are “plummeting.” To the contrary, they are accelerating at a frightening rate.

Following her counterfactual prologue, Ingraham conducted an interview with disgraced, “herd immunity” advocate, Scott Atlas, who has no credentials in infectious diseases and whose views are so far removed from the credible medical community that he was ousted from Trump’s coronavirus task force. He told Ingraham that it was pointless to limit business and social contacts because that change in behavior doesn’t have any effect. What’s more, he claimed that “80 to 90 percent of people have been wearing masks” and it hasn’t helped.

For the record, those numbers are only for certain outdoor, public activities. For indoor activities, including holiday celebrations, mask compliance is only about 56 percent. And in any case, all the available scientific study proves that masks are effective for preventing virus transmission.

For Ingraham to be putting out these lies and disinformation while more Americans are dying than ever, is beyond irresponsible. She is an accessory to mass murder. And Fox News, who just signed her to a new, multiyear contract extension, is no less culpable. They are spreading what PolitiFact just designated as the 2020 Lie of the Year.” And they are doing it all in conjunction with Trump’s campaign to downplay the pandemic’s tragic consequences in order to absolve himself of the guilt he deserves for his negligence, incompetence, and deliberate malfeasance.

NOTE: Twitter recently suspended the News Corpse account after 11 years without giving a reason. So if anyone wants to tweet articles from my website, please feel free to do so often and repeatedly. Thanks for your support.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Wishing You All a ‘Blue Xmas’ as Warrior Trump Leads the Charge Against Religious Freedom

It’s the most wonderful time of the year. The season of battling a fake war on Christmas that has been raging for six weeks out of every year since Fox News decided it was a thing. And this year there is a new Guardian of Virtue who has arisen to make it safe for the persecuted Christians of America to stumble out of their basement sanctuaries.

Donald Trump Christmas

Donald Trump promised during his campaign that “If I become president, we’re all going to be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again.” It’s that heartwarming 1930’s German-style totalitarianism that makes him think he can decide what we are ALL going to say. And it’s all the more meaningful coming from a greedy, lustful, gluttonous, wrath-filled, narcissist who insists that he has never had to seek God’s forgiveness because he’s never done anything to necessitate it. Now, making good on that campaign promise, Trumpy Clause has announced that:

And you know it’s true because he used five exclamation points. Although it may be a bit unseemly to lie so brazenly while drenching oneself in pride as the leader of an imaginary assault, all in the name of a religious principle founded on charity and peace. And perhaps the hostilities themselves are an absurd and exploitative political hoax considering that most Americans are more than satisfied saying “Happy Holidays.”

But absurdity and exploitation, and even rank idiocy, never stopped political demagogues before, and they surely won’t stop this one. We’ll just have to tolerate it a little longer and hope that the new year brings real victory for the majority of Americans who are disgusted and embarrassed by the cretin occupying the White House.

Most of the nation will spend this day with their families enjoying the traditions that we have always honored. But what really makes America great is that we similarly honor those among us with different traditions and beliefs. It’s our diversity that has always been the source of our strength, and will continue to be in the future.

So in the spirit of the season, News Corpse would like to continue its holiday tradition by presenting a musical gift for the forsaken and forlorn. This is for all of those who are not huddled around a dead tree today, buried in colorfully wrapped packages. It’s for the cynics who won’t accept the notion that the birth of an alleged savior is an excuse to exchange material goods or fruitcakes that nobody likes. It is for outcasts and rebels and nonbelievers who are puzzled by the greed and commercialism that permeates the season. And yes, it’s for those who still believe that peace and goodwill are morally superior to profit and oppression. Here is Miles Davis and Bob Dorough performing the heartwarming traditional Christmas ballad Blue Xmas:

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Fox News Escalates the War on Christmas With a Fake and Hypocritical Attack on Hillary Clinton

The eternal struggle over the embattled Christmas holiday continues. At least on Fox News where it originated and prospers. And as the alleged birthday of Christ approaches, the “Curvy Couch” potatoes of Fox and Friends take up their battle stations to fight once more against the forces of evil who want to destroy Christmas.

Fox News Christmas

On Thursday morning Fox and Friends suited up to face a fearsome enemy of Christmas. They aired a segment (video below) about a tree ornament that featured Hillary Clinton. The bit began with co-hosts Pete Hegseth and Ainsley Earhardt introducing a Fox News reporter who valiantly sluethed this affront to the baby Jesus:

Hegseth: This Christmas season deck the halls with Hillary Clinton. A Christmas tree topper, complete with angel wings, is turning heads online, and on this couch in my brain this morning.
Earhardt: Here with a response, blowing up social media, is Fox News Headlines 24/7 reporter Carly Shimlus.
Shimkus: People are calling this “Resistmas.” Have you heard of this? Christmas is now politically charged as well? Other people on Twitter not so sure about the whole Resistmas thing. Jack [Posobiec]on Twitter says “The Left has replaced Christmas with ‘Resistmas’ as their worship of themselves continues.”

For those unfamiliar with “Jack,” Fox News just featured a tweet by a notorious alt-right, white nationalist. Why they picked him out the all the possible Twitter commenters on this subject is obvious. Just like their Messiah, Donald Trump, they have a deeply held affinity for overt racists.

Back to the segment. The Fox News Klan were clearly disturbed by what they called the “politically charged” Christmas tree ornament. But there are a couple of big problems with that reaction. First of all, the ornament was not made or sold by Hillary Clinton or anyone associated with her in any way.

Secondly, If politicizing Christmas is so offensive, why don’t they ever complain when Trump does it? After all, he incessantly yowls about “bringing Christmas back” in a transparent attempt to exploit it as a political cudgel. Christmas, of course, has never been away. But that, like all other facts, is irrelevant to Trump and his glassy-eyed disciples. The only use Trump has for Christmas is as a means of firing up the goofballs who go to his rallies and for distracting the media from his myriad scandals.

However, the most galling part of this ludicrous segment is the flagrant hypocrisy. It took about two minutes to find Donald Trump’s blatantly political Christmas tree ornament. This ornament is not being offered by some third party profiteer. It’s actually being sold on his own website. And the message has nothing to do with Christmas, Jesus, or any other theme of the holiday season. It hypes his crass commercial slogan “Make America Great Again.” Because that’s just so Christmasy. According to the website, this tacky trinket will help his deplorables to “Get in the Christmas spirit.”

Donald Trump Christmas

The MAGA Christmas tree ornament is now selling for $45.00. That’s a substantial discount from the original price advertised in a Trump campaign donation email last year, when it cost donors $149.00. Apparently it wasn’t exactly flying off the shelves.

This is another example of Fox News going into hysterics over something pitifully lame and entirely meaningless. And in the process they lash out at their standard enemies (Clinton, Obama, Soros, Pelosi, etc.), while ignoring the far more offensive activities of their Dear Leader Donald Trump, who can do no wrong. It may seem like trivial fluff given the abundance of important issues that currently face our nation: Middle East turmoil, North Korea, terrorism, tax reform, climate change, sexual abuse, natural disasters, etc. And let’s not forget Trump’s treasonous connections to Russia and the special counsel investigating him.

But that’s the point. Fox News is using this to divert the attention of their viewers from those matters to petty concerns like Christmas tree ornaments. And what’s really sad is that they do it so very badly, but their audience is too stupid to notice.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

The Fake Fox News ‘War On Christmas’ Just Created Some Very Real Victims

For several years now Fox News has been engaged in a raging “War On Christmas.” For the most part it is a conflict that is wholly the product of their warped imagination. And despite the fact that victory was declared by its general, Bill O’Reilly, several times, peace has still evaded us. And now this phony war is having all too real consequences.

Fox News Todd Starnes

An elementary school in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania, made an administrative decision not to put on a Christmas show this year. The principal cited the fact that its production requires 15-20 hours of classroom time that couldn’t be spared. However, the program’s cancellation was all that Fox News needed to bolster their war propaganda. Host Todd Starnes put out another in his series of bogus tirades against imaginary assaults on Xmas. According to LancasterOnline (via Media Matters):

“A Hempfield elementary school is under fire for ending its longstanding production of Charles Dickens’ “A Christmas Carol,” and a Jewish family has fled the county in fear because it’s being blamed for the cancellation. The unfolding controversy at Centerville Elementary School played out this week in national conservative media outlets including FOX News and Breitbart News Network, which portray the school’s move as part of a ‘war on Christmas.'”

After the play was canceled, classmates were reported to have harassed the Jewish student whom they blamed for the cancellation. The parents denied that they had complained or asked that the play be canceled. All they did was to request that their child not be required to participate. The principal responded to the rumors about parental objections by posting a notice stating flatly that they weren’t true. But that didn’t stop Fox News, Breitbart, and other right-wing outlets from exploiting the contrived controversy.

As a result, the family was forced to flee their home in order to avoid the hostile reaction from Fox viewers. [See update below] LancasterOnline reported that:

“Since the Fox and Breitbart stories, a spokeswoman for the school district said, the school has received at least 200 emails and phone calls either supporting or objecting to the decision or asking for additional information. The Jewish student’s parents say some of the reactions to the stories frightened them. After seeing reader comments like ‘It would be nice if we had the addresses of those concerned citizens and, I bet, this info is known to people living in the area’ on the Breitbart story, the parents pulled their child out of school and headed out of the area for a bit. ‘There’s no way we’re going to take a chance after the pizza incident,’ they said, referencing the man who fired an assault rifle in a Washington D.C area pizzeria after reading a fake-news story that said Hillary Clinton was running a child sex ring out of there.”

The stories from Fox and Breitbart focused on the false assertion that a Jewish family objected to the play’s Tiny Tim character saying “God bless us, everyone.” That’s absurd on its face because there would be no reason for such an objection. Jews are not averse to blessings from God. However, the attempt to stigmatize a Jewish family reeks of the anti-Semitism that frequently portrays Jews as Christ-killers. Casting Jews as opponents of Christianity and its holidays was a favorite tactic of the Nazis in 1930’s Germany.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Now Fox News is carrying on that loathsome tradition in an effort to advance their Christmas Wars agenda. And they are not the least bit concerned about the harm it is doing to innocent families. They are devoted to their campaign of hate and division without regard for the victims. And it is perfectly aligned with Donald Trump’s divisive agenda. He often fires up his rallies by promising that “If I become president, we’re all going to be saying ‘Merry Christmas’ again.” It’s that 1930’s totalitarianism that makes him think he can decide what we are all going to say.

UPDATE: The Anti-Defamation League investigated the claims that the family fled their home due to threats following false stories about the cancellation of a school Christmas play. They found that the family actually left on a planned vacation, but the other facts remain unchanged. There were stories that accused the family of being responsible for the cancellation, and they were harassed.

Merry (War On) Christmas From A World Without Rupert Murdoch

The classic film, “It’s A Wonderful Life,” has become a tradition in the holiday season. And despite the attempts by Fox News to wage a divisive and exclusionary war that pits Americans against one another for merely offering different versions of the season’s greetings, the movie’s message continues to uplift each new generation of viewers.

Wonderful Life

But the film was not always so well received. In fact, during the “Red Scare” in the late 1940’s the notorious anti-communist persecution conducted by that era’s Tea Party Congress had labeled the film as commie propaganda. A 1947 FBI memorandum alleged that

“…the film represented a rather obvious attempt to discredit bankers by casting Lionel Barrymore as a ‘scrooge-type’ so that he would be the most hated man in the picture. This, according to these sources, is a common trick used by Communists.”

It seems like satire now, but they were deadly serious (unlike Jimmy Kimmel’s Mr. Potter and the Commies of Bedford Falls). What these pathetically inept film reviewers apparently failed to notice was that the film’s hero, George Bailey, was also a banker (as head of Bailey Bros. Building and Loan) – just not a greedy, insensitive, and criminally corrupt one like the villainous Mr. Potter. And the lesson he learned in the course of the story was that he had made a difference in the lives of those he touched, and that they reciprocated in kind.

The heartwarming notion that the world would be worse off without the likes of George Bailey still makes eyes moist and brings families together in appreciation of their good fortune. However, in a re-telling of the “Wonderful Life” by comedians Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie, the fate is very different for the arch-conservative media baron, Rupert Murdoch. So, in what is becoming a Christmas tradition for News Corpse, here is Fry & Laurie’s profound and hilarious production of “It’s A Soaraway Life,” which looks at what the world would be like if Rupert Murdoch had never been born.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Ted Cruz Launches A New (Allegedly Humorous) Front In The War On Christmas

The annoyingly sanctimonious evangelicals that dominate the Republican Party are constantly reminding everyone else how serious they are about celebrating Christmas as the remembrance of the birth of their savior. If anyone should divert from the path of reverence even slightly, they lash out with accusations of blasphemy and sacrilege. It’s gotten so bad that Walmart greeters are forbidden to wish patrons a “happy holiday,” and Starbucks is required to print reindeer and wreaths on the coffee cups. So you have to wonder how these martinets of virtue will respond to the new Ted Cruz ad (video below).

Ted Cruz

In the ad, scheduled to run during Saturday Night Live, Cruz makes an attempt at humor with a Christmas theme, but this insult to the solemnity of the season ought to make real Christians wince. At least that is what they would do if President Obama or Hillary Clinton ever tried to pull off something like this. Just the thought of Obama exploiting his children for a political ad that mocks the sacred holiday would send right-wingers into fits of holy rage. But that’s precisely what Cruz did.

The ad turns beloved traditional tales into parodies of political controversies. It is based on the sort of infomercials that peddle top 40 hits from the big band era. Some of the targets of Cruz’s comedy are “How ObamaCare Stole Christmas,” “Rudolph the Underemployed Reindeer,” and “The Grinch Who Lost Her Email.” It’s a veritable laugh riot. But by far the funniest part was that Cruz chose to remind people of his ridiculous reading of a Dr. Seuss classic during a senate filibuster. The ad opens with an announcer saying “Imagine the greatest Christmas stories told by the senator who once read ‘Green Eggs and Ham’ from the Senate floor.” Yeah, just imagine that.

There is an unsettling sense of absurdity seeing Cruz in what he obviously believes is a hilarious ad. After all, this is the candidate that just called for carpet bombing of cities in Syria where ISIS members might reside. Never mind that such a tactic would slaughter thousands of innocent civilians, including women, children, and even Christians. Cruz brags about his leadership in blocking any legislative reform to address gun safety after twenty kids were murdered at Sandy Hook. He later exploited the gun issue in another failed attempt at comedy by using an AR-15 to make what he called “Machine Gun Bacon.” And now he wants people to see his humorous side?

The ad closes with a line that he certainly regards as having a serious message. The announcer says “If you are not completely satisfied with this collection of Cruz Christmas classics, you probably hate Christmas – and America.” Anyone who has observed Cruz for any length of time knows that this is exactly what he really thinks about those who disagree with him. However, his fans will likely eat this up and consider it a heartwarming look at the jovial family man who boasts about his endorsements from preachers who advocate killing homosexuals. You know, peace on Earth and goodwill toward men. Just like Jesus said.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

It’s A (War On) Christmas Miracle: A World Without Rupert Murdoch

Subscribers to the Dish Network woke up this weekend to find that the level of ignorance and dishonesty that is pumped into their homes by their television provider had dropped precipitously. Due to a contract dispute between Dish and Fox News the network pulled their programming depriving the Dish subscribers of the feast of lies and propaganda that dominate Fox’s schedule.

Wonderful Fox-Free Life

For many viewers it is a Christmas wish come true. Of course, for many others it is like being unable to connect to their supplier of wingnut crack.

Fox is mounting a campaign to denigrate Dish and blame them for the stalled contract talks. But what Fox isn’t tell you is that they are using the negotiations to add new Fox networks to Dish’s service and triple the fees for their sports channels (which would likely result in higher rates for customers as those increases are passed on). Neither of those issues are a part of the current contract that is up for renewal. So this is a case of Fox attempting to strong-arm Dish into capitulating to their demands and using Fox News as the cudgel. Further evidence of this is that Dish offered Fox a short-term extension to keep the network on the air while negotiations continued, but Fox turned them down.

Unfortunately, this holiday good news has been tempered by an utterly boneheaded decision by Dish to temporarily replace the blacked-out Fox News channel with Glenn Beck’s The Blaze. That’s a little like pulling a fork out of your eye and replacing it with an ax. And you can rest assured that Beck will take full advantage of this accidental good fortune to escalate his lunacy to much larger and dumbfounded Fox audience. That oughta be fun.

Still, the notion of a Fox-free Christmas holds some appeal. It means that Dish subscribers will have to look elsewhere to be indoctrinated into the latest Fox scams. The result for many families is that their holiday gatherings may be free of Fox-itized relatives dampening the festivities with their conspiracy theories, hoax peddling, and hate mongering. It’s a prospect that was brilliantly imagined by the comedy team of Fry & Laurie (yes, that was Hugh Laurie of TV’s “House” fame). They produced a hilarious short film inspired by the classic “It’s A Wonderful Life,” that had a look at the world if Rupert Murdoch had never been born.

Get the ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
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And have yourself a merry little (war on) Christmas.

Christmas Warrior Bill O’Reilly Links Phony War To Climate Change Denial

The war on Christmas began in earnest in October when Fox News went into a frenzy over new federal regulations aimed at reducing the number of injuries and deaths caused by faulty electric holiday decorations. After all, losing a few Christian soldiers in the name of festive light displays is totally justifiable.

Today the battle rages on as Bill O’Reilly, Fox’s general in the annual war, uncovers evidence that the combat has only just begun (video below). And in the process he equates his fairy tale war with the scientifically confirmed dangers of Climate Change.

O’Reilly: We do have a bunch of “War on Christmas” deniers who say that I, and others, are making the whole thing up. Well, here’s the first evidence this year. A billboard put up by an atheist group telling children to skip church on Christmas day. […] If somebody denies global warming they’re all over them, but [the War on Christmas is] right before your eyes. There’s the sign. What generates that denial?

What O’Reilly is presenting as proof of the Christmas conflagration is the appearance of a single billboard in Tennessee that depicts a young girl’s letter to Santa saying that “All I want for Christmas is to skip church. I’m too old for fairy tales.” If that is all the evidence that is required to validate O’Reilly’s Christmas War theory, then he has a pretty low bar for validation. It is rather remarkable that he is so easily convinced on this matter, but he and other Climate Change deniers remain skeptical even after 97% of the scientists who study atmospheric science agree that Climate Change is occurring and is man made.

The segment on O’Reilly’s program consisted mainly of his interview of a psychotherapist wherein they spent the better part of five minutes maligning atheists as sadistic, nasty bullies. It was a display of overt hostility toward nonbelievers, even as they complained, without evidence, that nonbelievers were themselves hostile. They agreed that the billboard was “horrifically insulting” and an affront to the traditional values of this season of goodwill. Which is interesting because O’Reilly never expressed any outrage over the politicization and commercialization of Christmas by the Republican Party last year when the NRCC sold a tee-shirt proclaiming that “All I want for Christmas is to be rid of ObamaCare.”

Republican ObamaCare Christmas

So it’s perfectly OK to wish for the abolition of a program that has literally saved lives and made it possible for millions of Americans to get health insurance for the first time – people who previously could not afford it or who were denied due to preexisting conditions – but to wish to voluntarily exclude oneself from a ceremonial assembly in which one does not believe is a declaration of war. That is the sort of hypocrisy that Fox News is foisting on their faithful and dimwitted viewers during this season of joy. So just go to church and God will provide for your sick child. And Merry (War on) Christmas.

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Robot Chicken Has Enlisted In The Fox News War On Christmas (Video)

Fox News kicked off its annual War on Christmas early this year with an October 16th report that slobbered buckets of panic sauce over the Obamanazis attempts to prevent unnecessary deaths from faulty Freedom Ornaments on Jesus Trees. And now the cold weather war escalates as Robot Chicken joins the fray.

Robot Chicken Fox News War on Christmas

Before I go any further… Yes, this is a real program. The Adult Swim animated fowl’s entry into the battle was announced in a press release that reads…

“The Nerd unleashes holiday havoc in this sneak peek of the Robot Chicken Lots of Holidays But Don’t Worry Christmas is Still in There Too So Pull the Stick Out of Your Ass Fox News Special.”

This offensive is certain to produce a stern response from Fox’s X-MAS Wolverines who will assuredly retaliate in farce. Expect Fool King Eric Bolling to name Robot Chicken his “Fool of the Week.” And don’t be surprised if Bill O’Reilly declares the Nerd a pinhead and lackey to the tyrannical Obama goose-steppers. Glenn Beck, of course, will uncover the clandestine relationship between the Cartoon Network and George Soros, who he’ll accuse of collaborating to install a Cartoon Caliphate in the Middle East Earth.

This escalation of hostilities is a harbinger of the apocalyptic doom that is rapidly approaching. There is no way out. So either pledge allegiance to the Fox Brigades defending traditional values or submit to Santa’s will in Hell. And have yourselves a merry Chicken Little War on Christmas.

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