The Sarah Palin Chronicles: A 2012 Retrospective Of Humiliation And Hilarity

The past year has presented a wealth of unintentional comedy from right-wing raconteurs whose generosity in embarrassing themselves was profound. There was Donald Trump and Dick Morris and Allen West and many others vying for the top spot in the Crackpottery Hall of Fame.

However, this year, as in much of the recent past, the competition was too stiff and everyone had to bow, once again, to the Queen of Quackery: Sarah Palin. What follows are just a few of the most memorably humiliating hijinks in a year of world class buffoonery.

Today Show Ratings Down With Sarah Palin As Guest Host

In a desperate attempt to counter-program ABC’s Good Morning America, NBC invited Palin to guest host their Today Show. The result was an episode that underperformed NBC’s average and may have been the catalyst that led to ABC eventually beating NBC in the morning news wars for the first time in years.

Sarah Palin Calls Nancy Pelosi A ‘Dingbat’ – No, Really!

Appearing with fellow crackpot Sean Hannity on Fox News, Palin responded to a question about Democratic Majority Leader Nancy Pelosi by saying…

“Well, first off, Nancy Pelosi is a dingbat. And she is the perfect spokesperson for this whole agenda of the far-left running the Democrat Party.”

Palin/Pelosi

And if that weren’t bad enough, Palin also made a disparaging, phallus-related insult directed at President Obama, calling him a “tool.”

The Alaska Mistake Mouths Off: Sarah Palin Finally Responds To Dick Cheney

After former Vice-President Dick Cheney told ABC News that her selection as John McCain’s running mate was “a mistake,” Palin fired back saying that…

“It would have been a mistake to have hunkered down, just lived that luxurious, if you will, comfortable lifestyle in Alaska.”

Of course, we now know that Palin gleefully exploited the notoriety she attained from the nomination. She peddled her books and speaking engagements. She signed a multimillion dollar deal with Fox News. She starred in laughably inept reality TV programs. She increased her net worth many times over, yet recalls wistfully her “luxurious” lifestyle in Alaska. Palin is a notorious grifter and Cheney, for once, is quite right.

Sarah Palin Wants One Name Of A Hostile Republican

When Palin appeared on Fox News with her friend Greta Van Susteren, the conversation turned to some of the nastiness on the campaign trail that Palin thinks is exclusively on the side of the Democrats. In a hilarious demonstration of self-delusion, Palin said…

“Name one — name one prominent Republican who even comes close to what like the Alan Graysons, the Harry Reids, the Joe Bidens come up with and spew to the American public. I can’t think of one prominent Republican who talks the way that they talk.”

Sarah Palin Hostile

Sarah Palin is about the most vituperative, mean-spirited, mud-slinger in America today. But, in her defense, she did specify a “prominent Republican.”

Sarah Palin Says You Are Diminished By Even Mentioning Her Name

Palin was so upset that John Kerry referenced her in joke that was directed at Mitt Romney that she unleashed this bit of nonsense on Neil Cavuto’s show on Fox News:

“I think he diminished himself by even mentioning my name. How does he even know my name? I mean aren’t these guys supposed to be these big-wig elites who don’t waste their time on the little people like me?”

So Palin is surprised that someone should know her name after running for vice-president, conducting bus tours (and book signings) across the country, hosting in two unintentionally hilarious reality shows on cable TV, and appearing regularly on Fox News as part of her million dollar contract? After all of that she still has some bizarre impression of herself as a little person. Little, perhaps, in mental acuity.

Sarah Palin Drips With Envy Over Obama’s Selection As Time Magazine’s Person Of The Year

Sarah Palin appeared on her old pal Greta Van Susteren’s show on Fox News where she was asked to comment on Time Magazine’s selection of President Obama as “Person of the Year.” And, what a surprise, the ego-driven Queen of the North could only find nasty things to say about Obama. But she concluded with a statement I agree with wholeheartedly:

“Time Magazine, you know, I think there’s some irrelevancy there to tell you the truth. I mean consider their list of the most influential people in the country and in the world, some who have made that list – yours truly – that ought to tell you something right there regarding the credence that we should give Time Magazine and their list of people.”

Sarah Palin Irrelevant

It’s interesting to see just how little Palin thinks of herself. She doesn’t think anyone should have heard of her, and she doesn’t think she’s relevant enough to be mentioned in Time. However, these bouts of low self-esteem only seem to flare up when she is being attacked. Whenever she is promoting herself her abundant ego is in full effect.

The big problem Palin has is that many others share her opinion about her being an insignificant has-been. Her books don’t sell, her TV and film ventures bomb, and speculation has it that Fox News will not be renewing her contract next year. Consequently, there is not likely going to be another Palin retrospective at the end of 2013. I miss her already.

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12 thoughts on “The Sarah Palin Chronicles: A 2012 Retrospective Of Humiliation And Hilarity

  1. The pictures alone say it all!

    Happy New Year Mark and thanks for being a watchdog.

  2. Good riddance to bad rubbish. The idiot.

    Don’t worry that insufferable media whore will be around talking stupid. she will talk shit about President Obama even after he leaves office.

  3. $arah Paylin is a defeated LOSER, a defeated QUITTER, and sadly disappointed all her most ardent toe lickers when she QUIT AGAIN on Oct 5, 2011.

    It was all just a big tease! Like she has been doing nearly all her life, teasing and playing games to get what she wants, also too, dontcha know?

    $arah never sued NAtional Enquirer for running the story of Todd Palin’s prostitution ring he was running.

    $arah never mentions Shailey Tripp who was Todd’s little slut.

    $arah never mentions how she faked Trig’s birth

    But some day $arah, this sh*t will break open as a full blown scandal, and you will have the whole world knowing what a FAKE you really are.

    • Yes. The further we go in time, the easier it is for people to take an objective look at her “pregnancy” and the “birth” of Tri-G and realize…it is a hoax. The problem has been the media blackout. The average Joe doesn’t know the circumstances of the hoax. But, I know that when the average Joe gets a look at some photos, gets to think about the “wild ride”, learns that a family practice physician is not qualified to be a high risk OB for a sitting governor – well then the whole hoax just implodes/explodes. Tick tock. Some of us have been waiting since August 08. we are a patient lot.

  4. She is so jealous of the President. It’s really creepy. To me, she’s a stalker. Yuck.

  5. Don’t forget she was practically begging Obama “the tool” (who has no “cajones” according to her) to “grow” a big stick. Guess she misses her days of white on Rice. She and Bristol both were demanding that Obama call them personally on the phone. Yes, this is the same “lady” who in her emails called Jewish Republican Rep. Jay Ramras “birdnose” and “vajayjay” saying that he must be missing his “little woman” and that she better keep the likes of him away from her daughter Bristol.

    Christmas 2011 the p-tease quitter was even jealous of the First Dog, Bo, being on the presidential Christmas card!

    Her mind is in the gutter and all she encourages is negativity and hatred in America. She has not one single positive thing to offer except for hiking up her skirt. No wonder nobody likes her and she has no one else to blame for her own failure except herself. Mentally & emotionally Sarah Palin is stuck in junior high.

    Better off to go back to her original plan with her hubby Todd – SECEDE and stop molesting the USA!

  6. I will look forward to the day when people will say Sarah who?

  7. When you can, arguably, lay claim to being possibly the dumbest national politician in the last seventy years, against competition including the likes of Dan Quayle, and the whole host of idiots in the republican party to come and go on the political stage in that time, you know you have to be pretty effing dumb!

  8. Sarah Palin is an absolute embarrassing joke as an advocate for any one. The mental contortions her apologists’ have to go through, when they defend her, is nothing short of spewing non sequiturs.

  9. Don’t for a second think that Sarah Palin is having bouts of “low self-esteem” when she makes seemingly self-deprecating comments. Palin is simply working the same absurd logic what she knows has worked so well with her conservative peers (Rush Limbaugh, Glen Beck, to name just a few). Remember, Democrats have been painted as both welfare-using leaches on society and limousine driving elitists who are out of touch. So Palin and especially Limbaugh (which tells us a lot about their audiences) constantly remind viewers that they understand “you” the “everyday person.” Ignore the country club memberships, the private jets and the actual limousine living lifestyle of these types; they purposely (and patronizingly) have to remind the audience that they are just like every body else… or as Palin put it: “just little old me.” It’s the opposite of “low self-esteem;” It’s warped narcissism.

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