Humor

Maybe Kamala Harris Should Declare Victory Early to Preempt and Mock Trump

Posted by on November 4, 2024 at 12:32 pm. 1 Comments :

It’s Election Eve and the nation is understandably on edge as voters make a decision between Vice-President Kamala Harris, a uniquely qualified and compassionate leader who cherishes democracy, and Donald Trump, a convicted felon, adjudicated rapist, and business failure/fraudster, with authoritarian aspirations.

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Kamala Harris, Donald Trump baby

The candidates are spending the last full day of the campaign visiting the swing states that will have the greatest impact on the outcome of the election. And they are making their closing arguments, highlighting the issues that they regard as the most important to voters. To Harris that means the economy, healthcare and reproductive rights, and the preservation of our constitutional republic. To Trump it means fear mongering, exacerbating division and hate, and advancing his mission to undermine American democracy.

SEE THIS: HOLY CR&P! Fox News Defends Trump Wishing that He Had ‘the Kind of Generals that Hitler Had’

With the race so close – at least according to polls that have proven to be flawed – most political pundits are loathe to make any predictions as to who will emerge victorious. But one thing that everybody seems comfortable predicting is that Trump will declare victory on Tuesday night no matter what the early results show. It’s his way of priming the pump so that he can allege that the election was “rigged and stolen” in the event that he loses. Which he seems to be expecting…

Given the likelihood that Trump will try to crown himself King of America before all the votes are counted, the Harris campaign should be prepared in advance to let the air out of his clownish stunts. That could be done after the fact by simply refuting his self-congratulatory lies, but why wait just to go on defense? Perhaps a better method would be to preempt Trump’s hubris on early Tuesday night.

By getting out in front of Trump, Harris could achieve two goals: First, she would make it clear that Trump is a pathological liar with delusions of grandeur who couldn’t care less about the will of the people. And Secondly, she could humiliate him with well-deserved mockery for even trying to pull off such a blisteringly stupid and egomaniacal maneuver.

The Harris “acceptance” speech could feature celebrations of the forty-gazillion votes she received. She could thank her supporters from the great state of Wiscmichylvania. And she could show her appreciation for those who helped her to rise to this occasion. Most notably Rudy Giuliani, for sacrificing his reputation and legal career by faithfully kissing Trump’s…let’s say ring; RFK, Jr, for elevating crackpottery to new levels of absurdity; and MAGA Mike Johnson, for promising to enact Trump’s Project 2025 if returned to power. She couldn’t have done it without them.

But don’t forget about Donald Trump himself. His commitment to destroying his own prospects was unparalleled. After all, he didn’t have to talk about Haitians eating cats and dogs during the debate with Harris. He didn’t have to promise to protect women, “whether they like it or not.” He didn’t need to assure the country that he would tack another $8 trillion dollars onto his previous debt burdens by swearing to give the wealthy more tax cuts and imposing tariffs on the rest of the world.

Trump also didn’t have to brag about ending Roe v Wade and the constitutional rights that women had for the last fifty years. He didn’t have to suck up to America’s tyrannical enemies such as Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping, and Kim Jong Un, all of whom he admires and seeks to emulate. He didn’t need to threaten the free press with revocation of licenses (that they don’t actually have) just because they tell the truth about him.

Such a speech would be a watershed moment for the Harris campaign, and for American politics. And after her brilliant appearance on Saturday Night Live, we know she can handle comedy. Plus, it would have the added benefit of annoying all of Trump’s MAGA minions who think there is something untoward – or even evil – about laughing.

SEE ALSO: Crybaby Trump: I Hate it When People Laugh at Me, and When Kamala Harris Laughs at All

So let’s have a bit of fun at the expense of Trump and the MAGA clan who we know are going to push their imaginary election results, perhaps even while people are still voting. In fact, why wait until tonight? Let’s celebrate Kamala winning right now (and hope it doesn’t come back to bite us in that arse). She has has a better than even shot at victory. Especially considering that Trump is actually demotivating his cult disciples from voting at all.

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Tim Walz Schools Jon Stewart on Why Liz and Dick Cheney Supporting Kamala Harris is Important

Posted by on October 22, 2024 at 2:20 pm. 6 Comments :

There is an old saying about how “politics makes for strange bedfellows.” But despite this adage being older than Donald Trump’s bone spurs, many people are still surprised by unusual alliances among politicians with divergent views.

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Jon Stewart, Donald Trump

This is particularly evident in the newly congenial relationship between Vice-President Kamala Harris and former congresswoman Liz Cheney. The Cheney family has long been associated with with the farthest right wing of the Republican Party. And Harris is the presidential nominee of the Democratic Party that ultra conservatives regard as socialist. Never mind that that characterization is absurd in the extreme. It is one that Trump and the MAGA GOP have attached themselves to in desperation.

SEE THIS: Trump’s Anti-American ‘Enemies From Within’ Comment was ‘Speaking From the Heart’ per JD Vance

On Monday night, Harris’ running mate, Gov. Tim Walz, was interviewed by Jon Stewart on “The Daily Show.” And Stewart asked Walz to comment on why Harris has been celebrating the endorsements from Liz Cheney (who has more to say about this here) and her father Dick. It is an entertaining and informational exchange…

Stewart: The Cheney thing… Do we really have to do that?
Walz: Look, It goes broader than that. Bernie Sanders, Dick Cheney, Taylor Swift. Having the Cheneys on board…
Stewart: No, no, no. You can’t Dick Cheney or Taylor Swift. No!
Walz: We’re a big tent.
Stewart: What country did Taylor Swift get us to invade?
Walz: Don’t you think though that – and I do this, I believe this – There is still a core group of folks out there, your point being the Reagan piece of this; the Libertarian piece; the constitutional piece – There are a lot of people out there. I think Liz Cheney and Dick Cheney give permission to those folks who want to find a reason to do the right thing, It doesn’t mean they agree with us. We’re not going to take their foreign policy decisions and discussions and implement those.
Stewart: Promise?
Walz: Yes, promise.

Stewart was right to wonder how Harris and Walz can unite with icons of the American uber-right. But Walz answered the question brilliantly. This isn’t about a unity of ideologies. It’s about patriots who put their country over their party. It’s about Americans who revere the principles laid out in the Constitution. It’s about opposing the blatant authoritarianism and hateful divisiveness that is the foundation of Trumpism.

Having the courage and integrity to stand together to reject the anti-American, racist, power mad, ambitions of Trump is a sign of honor and strength. After all, Trump is a convicted felon, and adjudicated rapist, and serial adulterer, and financial fraudster, and pathological liar, and shameless ignoramous, and malignant narcissist. Opposing all of that is the only possible position for rational people to take.

It does not mean that they necessarily agree on specific issues. It just means that they agree that the long term preservation of the country is more important than partisanship. And if Republicans like the Cheneys can stand with Harris, then so can millions of other Republicans and Independents who see Trump for the repulsive, vulgar, mentally infirm, con man that he is. They will not be alone.

There are good reasons why almost none of Trump’s Cabinet officials support him now. His White House Chief of Staff (Gen. Kelly), his Secretary of State (Tillerson), his Defense Secretary (Esper), his Attorney General (Sessions), his Director of National Security (Bolton), his personal attorney (Cohen), and so many more of the people who know him best say that he must not be returned to any position of power. His Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Gen. Mark Milley, said that he is “the most dangerous man in America,” and “fascist to the core.” And no GOP president or vice-president, or candidates for those offices (except Sarah Palin), support him.

Walz gave an outstanding impression of himself and the Harris campaign that he represents. Unlike Trump and Vance, Walz was smart, funny, likeable, informative, and not the least bit weird. Trump is too scared, and/or exhausted, to appear on programs like “The Daily Show.” He has been limiting himself exclusively to MAGA-friendly venues. And even those appearances have been mostly marked by his embarrassing and incoherent rambling.

MORE HERE: Scaredy Trump Has Retreated to the Safety of His Fox News Bunker While Canceling Other Media

With only two weeks left until Election Day, the noxious harangues from Trump and his surrogates is only going to get worse. But don’t let that discourage you. Make sure that you vote, and get everyone you know to vote as well. Early and mail-in voting is already available in many states. In the meantime, here is Monday night’s monolog from Jon Stewart for inspiration…

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Jimmy Kimmel and Tim Walz Make it Abundantly Clear Who the Weird Ones Are in This Election

Posted by on October 8, 2024 at 1:05 pm. 1 Comments :

When Kamala Harris chose Gov. Tim Walz to be her running mate, she was impressed with his record as a progressive leader who made great strides in his state, and whose experience as a legislator, a veteran, a teacher, and a football coach, appealed to a broad swath of middle America.

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Fox News, Kamala Harris, Tim Walz

In addition to those assets, Walz had a way of speaking that average folks could relate to. For example, his off the cuff observation that Donald Trump and JD Vance were “weird” connected so authentically with millions of people that it instantly became the most vivid descriptor of the MAGA party’s presidential ticket. It was such a apt epigram that Fox News and the GOP had to invent a contrary, albeit lame and baseless, comeback…

SEE THIS: WTF? Fox News and GOP Clown Comer Launch a Gross Attack on Tim Walz and His ‘Scary Family’

On Monday night Walz was a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” where he had another opportunity to display his homespun relatability. During the course of the conversation, Kimmel played a montage of Trump responding on several occasions to the charge that he and Vance are weird. Clearly he was disturbed by it. But it was impossible to see his responses as anything but…well, weird. Which Walz himself noticed and had the perfect reaction…

“If you have to tell people numerous times you’re not weird, you might be weird.”

Indeed. In just the same way that Trump has to repeatedly tell people that he isn’t racist, or stupid, or greedy, or sexually abusive, or afraid, or lying, he finds it necessary to try to convince people that he isn’t weird. That’s a hard case to make when the evidence of all of the above is so abundant.

Later in the interview, Kimmel gave Walz an opportunity to address the weirdness issue in a more serious way…

Kimmel: Why do you think the ‘weird’ label stuck to Republicans?
Walz: I was talking about the behaviors of being obsessed with people’s personal lives in their bedrooms and their reproductive rights. Making up stories about folks legally here eating cats and dogs. They’re dehumanizing. They go beyond weird. Let’s debate policy.

Walz barely scraped the surface of Trump’s weirdness. He left out Trump’s obsession with Hannibal Lecter, his fear of batteries and sharks, his belief that windmills cause cancer, his suggestion to nuke hurricanes, his bleach injection cure for COVID, his insistence that he won in 2020 and is ahead by far in all the polls now (he’s definitely not), his narcissistic delusion that he is everyone’s favorite president, and so much more.

When considered in its entirety, “weird” seems hardly sufficient to describe what Trump is.

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Stephen Colbert Triggers Another Totally Tacky Trump Tantrum on Truthless Anti-Social

Posted by on September 25, 2024 at 1:28 pm. 2 Comments :

With a mere six weeks until Election Day, Vice-President Kamala Harris is crisscrossing the country and engaging voters on critical subjects, such as the economy, immigration, and healthcare. Meanwhile, Donald Trump is laser focused on the issues that he believes matter most to the American people, such as who is eating the cats, creepy protectorship of depressed women, and the “stolen” election of 2020.

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In this political environment it is often healthy to take a breather for some comic relief. Which is made all the more possible by the vast amounts of material provided by Trump and his MAGA clown show. Unfortunately for Trump, he doesn’t have the ability to process humor the way other human beings do. In fact, he finds it offensive.

SEE THIS: Crybaby Trump: I Hate it When People Laugh at Me, and When Kamala Harris Laughs at All

So it will surprise no one to learn that Trump spent a sleepless Tuesday night composing a screed lambasting Stephen Colbert who appeared on PBS NewsHour to promote his new cookbook with his wife, Evie, “Does This Taste Funny?“ During the nine minute interview, Colbert mentioned Trump once in passing when the interviewer specifically asked him about Trump…

Amna Nawaz: Do you have red lines, like people you won’t talk to. Like, would you have former President Trump on the show?
Colbert: I have had him before, and he was kind of boring. So, no. […] I don’t like to have people on the show who I don’t think are going to be honest agents of their own ideas.

That was it. But that was enough to set Trump off on an extended rant that he posted on his floundering Truth Social scam. It consisted entirely of his predictable and tiresome insults and pitifully ignorant observations. He raged that…

“I briefly watched an interview of Stephen Colbert on highly government subsidized PBS, and found it fascinating for only one reason — Why would they be wasting time and the public’s money on this complete and total loser? He is not funny, which he gets paid far too much to be, he is not wise, he is VERY BORING.”

In that opening, Trump touched on several subjects that he ought to be an expert on: what is a “waste of money,” things that are “not funny,” and how to be “VERY BORING.” But, as usual, he has no self awareness whatsoever as he projects his own personality defects onto Colbert. Then he continued saying that…

“And his show is dying from a complete lack of viewers —Gutfeld, on cable, is killing him! CBS should terminate his contract and pick almost anyone, right off the street, who would do better, and for FAR LESS MONEY.”

Actually, Colbert’s show can hardly be described as “dying.” In fact, it is the top rated late night talk show. And it is not being killed by Greg Gutfeld, whose show is not a late night program, except on the east coast. Everywhere else in the country he is on in prime time. If Trump knew anything about how ratings work, he would know that you can’t compare programs in different time periods. HUT levels (Homes Using Television) are much higher prime time. But Trump still wasn’t through…

“Or I could recommend someone, much more talented, and smarter, who would do it for FREE! The good news for Stephen is that the two DOPES on NBC & ABC are not much better than him!”

Yeah, right. Trump surely knows people who would host a network television program for free. And it would be someone with the talent and skill to do it successfully. Does anyone believe that? He couldn’t even do it himself. His “Apprentice” languished near the bottom of the ratings in its final years.

As for Colbert’s competition (who are all close friends), Trump’s reviews are less than worthless. It’s a good thing he didn’t see Jimmy Kimmel’s monologue Tuesday night. It featured a blistering smackdown of Trump’s still smoldering anger over a joke Kimmel told at the Oscars six months ago.

So Kimmel invited his wife, Molly, to respond. She had some advice for Trump, suggesting that he, “Shut up and go away. Go to Mar-a-Lago. Spend all day cheating at golf and masturbating to Newsmax. And let a competent woman take over.” That would surely crack him up. Literally! If he isn’t already cracked beyond repair.

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The Daily Show Hysterically Highlights the Hatred of Trump by Those Who Know Him Best

Posted by on July 19, 2024 at 1:25 pm. 1 Comments :

The 2024 Republican National Convention has officially wrapped with the certification of convicted felon Donald Trump as the Party’s presidential nominee. And few observers will dispute that it was everything that it promised top be: A festival of angry, racist, cult followers devoted to an aspiring authoritarian and make-believe messiah.

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Donald Trump

Trump’s closing speech was notable for its interminable 90 minute length (the longest ever), it’s abundance of lies, its overt bigotry, and it’s extraordinary sedative effect. Convention delegates were seen nodding off or leaving early as the speech extended until past midnight without offering a single policy proposal or any solutions to real problems that the American people care about. And home viewers, the ones who stayed up, were similarly unimpressed…

SEE THIS: Trump’s MAGA RNC Convention Suffers Sharp Ratings Decline From Prior Years and Biden Speech

Instead, Trump spent an hour and half tearing down the country, denigrating the institutions that provide benefits to its citizens, and exalting himself with delusional portrayals of his term in office that is best remembered for COVID mortality, tax cuts for the rich, job losses, and hate speech.

Jordan Klepper of the The Daily Show was among those who noticed just how awful this convention was. He focused part of his monologue on the roster of speakers for the affair. But even more significant, were the people who were prominent in the Trump administration who didn’t bother to show up. And not because they were otherwise engaged. Klepper noted that…

“The campaign for president is basically one big job interview. The convention is where America checks the candidate’s references. And to be sure, there were plenty of people willing to vouch for Donald Trump. He’s got ex-cons, domestic abusers, fake wrestlers, fake friends, his children, people sleeping with his children, and of course, the esteemed mayor of Whoville.

“But if this is a job interview, it’s worth noting who we didn’t see: Most of the people that actually worked with him at the White House. And if American is gonna do our due diligence, we might as well call our references to hear what they have to say about him.”

Whereupon, Klepper played a montage of some of the top appointees in the Trump administration who are repulsed by him and regard him as a danger to democracy. For instance…

  • Mike Pence: Anyone who puts themselves over the Constitution should never be president.
  • Mark Esper (Secretary of Defense): I think he’s unfit for office.
  • John Bolton (National Security Adviser): Richard Nixon looks like a choir boy next to Donald Trump.
  • Ty Cobb (Trump attorney): The greatest threat to democracy that we’ve ever seen.
  • Mick Mulvaney (Chief of Staff): He failed at being the president when we needed him to be that.
  • Gen. Mark Milley (Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff): A wannabe dictator.
  • Bill Barr (Attorney General): He shouldn’t be anywhere near the Oval Office.
  • Gen. John Kelly (Chief of Staff): A person with nothing but contempt for for our democratic institutions, our Constitution, and the rule of law.
  • Gen. Jim Mattis (Secretary of Defense): The president has the understanding of a 5th or 6th grader.
  • Rex Tillerson (Secretary of State): He’s an F’ing moron!

These are not the criticisms of partisan Democrats. They are warnings from the people that Trump had chosen to staff his White House and Cabinet. They know him well and worked closely with him during the tumultuous times of Trump’s troubled tenure. And they are adamant that he not be returned to any position of authority.

Yet somehow, his glassy-eyed cult disciples remain transfixed. They are unmoved (or perhaps aroused) by his two impeachments, his 34 felony convictions, his 54 still pending felony charges, his judgement for nearly half a billion dollars for financial fraud, or his adjudication as a rapist. They aren’t worried about his explicit promise to be a “dictator on day one,” or his “Project 2025” handbook for fascism. Because, after all, his opponent, President Biden, is three years older than he is.

Equally as concerning as the list of people who despise Trump, are those who Trump admires. Along with the convention speakers (i.e. Tucker Carlson, Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ted Cruz, Peter Navarro, etc.), Trump bragged about having the support of Kim Jong Un and the Taliban during his speech. And with friends like that, who needs enemas?

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Biden Roasts ‘Mentally Unfit’ Trump While Honoring the Free Press at the Annual Gridiron Dinner

Posted by on March 17, 2024 at 1:25 pm. 1 Comments :

The Gridiron Club is a renowned organization comprised of journalists and other media professionals that hosts a dinner every year featuring pundits and politicians delivering humorous observations of the state of the media and the nation. Among the regular participants is the President of the United States. And this year President Joe Biden came prepared to mock his friends and foes alike, and even himself.

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Donald Trump

Coming shortly after Biden’s State of the Union Address (SOTU), this was another opportunity for Biden to demonstrate the fallacy of the Republican smear campaign demeaning him as cognitively impaired. The SOTU so effectively put that nonsense to rest that the GOP had to resort to accusing Biden of being pharmaceutically enhanced because they couldn’t otherwise explain his sharpness and vigor. In the meantime, their own guy, Donald Trump, made an ass of himself live “truthing” Biden’s speech…

SEE THIS: Trump’s Live-Bleating of Biden’s State of the Union Address Was Predictably Petty and Pathetic

Biden’s remarks at the Gridiron Dinner will only exacerbate the anxieties of the MAGA cult. Once again, he showed that he is on top of his game. He delivered the comedic material like a pro, and deftly segued to more serious subjects when necessary. And he wasn’t shy about referencing his opponent with what will likely be the event’s most memorable line…

“The big news this week is two candidates clinched their parties’ nomination for president. One candidate is too old and mentally unfit to be president. The other is me.”

That however, was not the only zinger in Biden’s monologue. What follows are few choice excerpts from the White House transcript…

“It’s great to be here at the Gridiron dinner, though it’s six hours past my bedtime.”

“Look, it’s been a long night. So, I’ll keep my remarks just a few minutes less than my State of the Union.”

“Kamala and I and the members of the administration here tonight are proud — proud of our accomplishments on behalf of the American people: record job growth, wages rising, rigging the Super Bowl for Taylor Swift.”

“Our big plan to cancel student debt doesn’t apply to everyone. Just yesterday, a defeated-looking man came up to me and said, ‘I’m being crushed by debt. I’m completely wiped out.’ I said, “Sorry, Donald, I can’t help you.'”

“I heard House Republicans were going to do a skit tonight, but they couldn’t get a speaker.”

“And the biggest joke of the night: an impeachment inquiry. Imagine believing something so baseless that has a zero chance of succeeding. But Republicans would rather fail at impeachment than succeed at anything else.”

“I’m running against the same guy that I beat in 2020. But don’t tell him. He thinks he’s running against Barack Obama.”

“In the coming months, Kamala and I will be making the case how Americans are better off than four years ago. […] All without destroying the economy, embarrassing us around the world, or — or itching for insurrection.”

Not bad for someone that Trump and his MAGA media minions malign as a senile commie who can’t string two sentences together. And in his closing remarks Biden displayed another characteristic that he is well known for, but that his opponent lacks: Reverence for the American Constitution, and in particular, freedom of the press…

“As I said in my State of the Union Address, we live in an unprecedented moment in democracy, an unprecedented moment for history. Democracy and freedom are literally under attack. […] The lies about the 2020 election, the plots to overturn it, to embrace the January 6th insurrectionists pose the gravest threat to our democracy since the American Civil War. […]

“All the while, the other guy calls you the free press. Well, he calls you the enemy of the people, even as many of you risk your lives to do your job and sometimes even give your lives to do your jobs. […] Let me state the obvious. You’re not the enemy of the people. You are a pillar of any free society.” […]

“Good journalism holds a mirror up to a country for us to reflect the good, the bad, the truth about who we are. […] As a result, the choices you make really matter. And each story you make makes democracy stronger.”

That respect for the values articulated in the First Amendment stands in stark contrast to how Trump views this subject. In a Sunday interview on Fox News Trump clumsily slapped a backhanded compliment on the media that he despises.

“They’re like the police and frankly, they keep our country honest in a certain way if they do their job properly, and they haven’t been doing it properly.”

Describing the role of the press as that of the “police” reveals Trump’s twisted perception of the media’s function in a free society. He doesn’t see it as a “mirror,” but rather an authoritarian force to exert control. And he doesn’t think they’re doing that good enough. Were he to have his way, he would revoke the licenses of any media that isn’t sufficiently worshipful of him. And he has said so explicitly…

SEE ALSO: Herr Trump Decrees: If Media Doesn’t Air My Speeches They Should Have Their Licenses Revoked

Every American needs to remember that when they vote in November. There is one candidate who abhors the press and the Constitution; who is facing 91 felony charges for crimes against America; who has been found civilly liable for financial fraud and rape. And the other one is Joe Biden.

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Jon Stewart Hysterically Tramples Trump’s MAGA Cult Crackpots for Calling Themselves Patriots

Posted by on March 12, 2024 at 1:16 pm. 4 Comments :

The 2024 presidential election is a stark departure from those that have preceded it for the past couple of centuries. It is not merely a choice between two competing political parties or ideologies. It is quite literally a choice between the preservation of democracy and American principles, or the autocratic tyranny of Donald Trump and his MAGA cult movement.

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Jon Stewart, Donald Trump

Trump has embraced some of the most brazen dictators in the world, including Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping, and Kim Jong Un. He praises them effusively and isn’t shy about showing his envy for their strongarm styles of ruling their respective countries. Trump himself has promised to rule as a dictator. And while he says it would be for just one day, when has a dictator ever voluntarily relinquished his power once he’s obtained it?

SEE THIS: Fox News Downplays Trump’s Flagrantly Fascist Remarks and Overtly Authoritarian Aspirations

The tyrannical tendencies of Trump are frightening in and of themselves. But the devotion of his glassy-eyed cult disciples may be even more disturbing. Trump will one day be gone. But his minions could linger to latch onto the next wingnut messiah who persuades them that they are the “real Americans” who are the rightful inheritors of the fatherland.

It was just that threat that Jon Stewart addressed in his opening segment of the Daily Show on Monday night. He warned about the “Republican mythology” that these right-wing extremists are “somehow more Americany” that the rest of us. Then he played a video compilation of StormTrumpers at his cult rallies embracing the notion of Trump becoming a dictator, and even pledging to support him if he committed murder “on the front steps of the White House.” In response, Stewart delivered a monologue that was both profound and hilarious. The whole thing is worthy of your time, but in the last two minutes it concludes with the following insight…

“This is it. The Thomas Nast cartoon. Patriots festooned in American flags, cosigning dictatorship. Remember ‘We the people’? You know, there’s more words after that, right? Smaller font, still binding. Look, if you want to love Trump, love him. Go to the rallies, buy the sneakers. You want to give him absolute power? You want him to be the leader über alles? You want him to have the right of kings? You do you.

“But stop framing it as patriotism. Because the one thing you cannot say is that Donald Trump is following the tradition of the founders. He is advocating for complete and total presidential immunity. His words, not mine. That is monarchy shit, and it’s your right to support it. But just do me a favor for historical accuracy. Next time you want to dress up at the rallies, wear the right f**king colored coats.”

DAMN RIGHT! The meatheads that profess to love Trump despite his anti-constitutional cravings for unchallenged dominion over everyone and everything are, by definition, not American patriots. They are traitors who acquiesce to the fascism favored by Trump’s totalitarian heroes. And if they get their way there is no longer anything resembling a constitutional republic in America.

So the next time you hear Trumpists declare that they are patriots, remind of what they really are: American Hate-riots. And they can take their MAGA movement (Make America a Groveling Autocracy) to Russia where it will fit right in.

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Jon Stewart Mercilessly Shreds Tucker Carlson’s Vile Veneration of Vladimir Putin and Russia

Posted by on February 20, 2024 at 12:50 pm. 3 Comments :

The return of Jon Stewart to “The Daily Show” is proving to be a stark reminder of just how much the world of media satire has been missing for the past nine years. His ability to wrap fact-filled commentaries in a humorous package with biting deliveries is unparalleled in contemporary comedy.

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Jon Stewart, Donald Trump

Monday night’s episode was a perfect example of this as Stewart refocused his attention an old and pitiful adversary, Tucker Carlson. Stewart frequently creamed Carlson’s ivory tower white nationalism when he was a Fox News Trump-fluffer. And even before that, when Carlson co-hosted CNN’s Crossfire. On Monday Stewart referenced an infamous exchange from that era saying that “I know I’ve said this before, but you’re such a dick.”

WATCH THE ORIGINAL: Fox News Hack Tucker Carlson Lamely Tries to Insult Jon Stewart, Gets Another Brutal Beat Down

Stewart was not swayed by Carlson’s worshipful propaganda (video below). He reviewed Carlson’s lapdog interview of his hero, Vladimir Putin, describing his enrapt facial expression throughout as “like you’re constipated while jerking off to a Sears catalog.” Carlson spent most of his two hour audience with Putin gazing adoringly at him as he disseminated flagrantly self-serving disinformation and outright lies. None of which were challenged by Carlson.

SEE THIS: Tucker Carlson Snuggles Up to His Master, Vladimir Putin, in a Humiliating Parade of Propaganda

Stewart brutally took apart Carlson’s slobbering adoration of Russia’s subway stations and grocery stores, including his feigned surprise that the value of groceries there had “radicalized” him against U.S. leaders, whom he apparently believes set the prices for groceries. Stewart mocked Carlson saying…

“And it will radicalize you! Unless you understand basic economics. See, $104.00 for groceries sounds like a great bargain unless you realize Russians earn less than $200.00 a week. But that’s the kind of context that a — what did you call yourself earlier? — a “journalist” would have provided.

“But here’s the reality: You f*cking know all this. Because you aren’t as dumb as your face would have us believe. Perhaps if your handlers had allowed, you would have seen there was a hidden fee to your cheap groceries and orderly streets. Ask Alexei Navalny or any of his supporters.”

Whereupon Stewart played a video of Navalny mourners being harassed and arrested by Russian police, observing that “The difference between our urinal-caked, chaotic subways, and your candelabra, beautiful subways, is the literal price of freedom.” Stewart concluded by noting that to today’s right-wing Trump MAGA cult, Putin is an ally and a friend, saying “I mean liberty is nice, but have you seen Russia’s shopping carts?”

Carlson appears to be determined to prove that he is as much a Russian asset as Donald Trump. But it isn’t because of any principles that he adheres to. It’s out of the desperation that comes from being a washed up pseudo-pundit whose puerile perspectives have gotten him fired from CNN, PBS, MSNBC, and even Fox News.

So like the rest of the MAGA Republicans scrambling to avoid the inevitable anguish of irrelevancy, he’s clinging to Trump and the futile hope that such pathetic toadyism will save him. Yeah, that’ll work. Just keep hanging on and maybe you can share an apartment in Moscow with him. Or a prison cell.

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Jon Stewart’s Snarky Swipe at Nutty Notion that a Trump Indictment Would Make Him a Martyr

Posted by on March 27, 2023 at 1:55 pm. 3 Comments :

As the walls close in on Donald Trump, he is descending ever further into an abyss of self-pity, victimhood, and malicious lies and insults aimed at the prosecutors who seek to hold him accountable for his multitude of crimes. His posts on his floundering Twitter ripoff, Truth Social, are drenched with the fear and desperation of a cornered rat.

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Jon Stewart, Donald Trump

Trump’s attacks on law enforcement range from outrageously false to blisteringly vicious as he attempts to convince his glassy-eyed cult followers that he is being persecuted by a cabal of satanic, George Soros-sponsored communists determined to drag him into the pits of hell – a destination he has been setting for himself for decades. And it’s clear that Trump’s anxieties are weighing on him as he converts his fear into threats.

RELATED: Trump Warns of ‘Death and Destruction’ if He is Indicted for Crimes that He Actually Committed

The prospect of Trump being indicted has driven debate among the pundit and political class, with his most devoted defenders latching unto the preposterous notion that if charges were brought against him it would boost his popularity and secure his electoral victory in 2024.

They might be right if they are only considering Trump’s position among his staunchly loyal disciples. They have already proven that nothing he does (assaulting women, stealing classified documents, consorting with Russians, dining with Nazis, inciting insurrections, etc.) could shake their blind adoration of him. However, the broader American public is already tired of, and disgusted by, his antics.

The idiotic idea that an indictment would bolster Trump was addressed in an interview of Jon Stewart by CNN’s Fareed Zakaria. And Stewart was on top of his game when he laid into those who embrace the “Trump as martyr” narrative…

Zakaria: There are people who say “Yes, yes. Indict him because he has, in fact, broken the laws.” And there are other people who say “This is gonna turn him into a martyr. This is his path to redemption.”
Stewart (sarcastically): I think the law should always take into account someone’s popularity. I mean, what’s happened to our country? It’s as though you can’t even commit financial fraud anymore. You can’t inflate the value of your property when you need a loan, and then deflate it with taxes. The next thing you know they’re going to send YOU to jail instead of your lawyer, and your accountant, and your campaign manager, and everyone else around you. The idea that someone may face accountability, who’s that rich and powerful, is outrageous, and this country shouldn’t stand for it.
Zakaria: But what if it turns out to be his “get out of jail free” pass? People see him as a martyr?
Stewart: We either have the rule of law, or we have no rule of law. The rule of law does not take into account if that might make you a martyr to somebody.

Indeed! The law should never consider whether a particular defendant is popular, or how his prosecution might be seen as a matter of public opinion, and especially not politically.

That said, if Trump flunkies really want to impose a standard wherein public opinion of a defendant determines whether or not to pursue prosecution, they might regret getting what they wish for. A recent poll shows that 56% of Americans say that investigations into Trump are fair, while only 41% say they are “witch hunts.” Other polls have long shown that a majority of Americans believe that Trump is responsible for the violence that occurred on January 6th.

SEE THIS: WTF? Trump Brags that 67% of Americans Say He’s Responsible for the Violent January 6th Insurrection

In the meantime, Trump’s lackeys on Capitol Hill are smoothing the way for him to commit even more crimes with absolute impunity. The GOP chairs of the House Judiciary, Oversight, and Administration committees are presently crafting legislation that would “strip state and local prosecutors of the authority to prosecute former presidents.” Never mind that it’s a blatantly unconstitutional imposition on state’s rights, something conservatives pretend to support. Or that is intended solely to shield Trump from prosecution for his innumerable crimes. It is also a futile gesture since it would never pass in the Senate or get President Biden’s signature.

This is the “thinking” of the Republican Party that is so infected with Trumpism that they would actually consider a law that would permit Trump to break any law that he wants. Which, from their warped perspective, makes sense because they believe that his lawlessness would make him even more popular among his Klan. And this is a party that thinks it has a future in American democracy?

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Trump is Silent About the Insurrection in Brazil, But is Very Upset About Late Night Comedy TV

Posted by on January 9, 2023 at 11:39 am. 10 Comments :

Two years after the violent and deadly January 6th insurrection in Washington, D.C., that was incited by Donald Trump, supporters of his compadre in Brazil, ousted president Jair Bolsonaro, launched an eerily similar assault against their own government. Ironically, Bolsonaro was in Florida at the time.

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The parallels are too alike to ignore. The anti-democratic Bolsonaro seditionists were protesting what they believe to be a stolen election, despite having zero evidence of any irregularities. Even some of the key players are the same. Trump and two of his advisors, Steve Bannon and Jason Miller, met last month with Bolsonaro’s son at Trump’s resort/home, Mar-a-Lago. Bannon is currently appealing his felony conviction for contempt of Congress.

RELATED: Fox News on Steve Bannon Sentence: It’s Tyranny and Total BS – And We Need to Do It

In the 24 hours since the attempted coup in Brazil, Trump has been uncharacteristically silent. Perhaps his advisors managed to persuade him that speaking out in support of Bolsonaro would only remind everyone of his own traitorous behavior. The only time that Trump was so reticent to rant was during the January 6th insurrection when he didn’t say a word for nearly three hours as his StormTrumpers were besieging the Capitol.

Meanwhile, Trump had no problem spouting off about other matters that were bouncing around in his perpetually embittered brain. For instance, he rattled off a long series of exaltations of himself as the mastermind of Kevin McCarthy’s selection as Speaker of the House. And he took another swipe at Senate Republican leader “Mitch McConnell and his China flagrant boss, Coco Chow,” a racist reference to McConnell’s wife, Elaine Chao. Then Trump broadened his attack to include any senator that voted with McConnell, saying “PRIMARY THEM ALL!!!”

However, Trump truly demonstrated his comprehension (or lack thereof) of the political zeitgeist that most stirs the souls of the American people in a comment concerning a subject that he ought to more about – television. As someone who starred as a reality TV game show host for 14 years, Trump is embarrassingly ignorant of the medium. He posted on his floundering Twitter ripoff, Truth Social, the following foolishness…

“Wow, those TRUMP Hating Late Night Network ‘Shows’ are doing really badly…The worst ratings that those time slots have had (in Television History!). Why are the untalented fools who ‘host’ paid so much? Does the DNC make a $contribution as a wing of the Democrat Party? They are all a total joke – Not Talent, No Laughs!”

There’s a remarkable quantity of wrongness in that brief paragraph. Beginning with the fact that just about every TV program has suffered in the ratings due increased competition from streaming and the reemergence of movie theaters and other out-of-home entertainment after two years COVID.

It goes without saying that Trump’s opinion of the late night hosts as “untalented fools” is driven by his massive, yet fragile, ego that is incapable of tolerating jokes at his own expense. And of course he is jealous of their high salaries that are justified by the revenue they generate from advertising. Not to mention his envy that they are TV five nights a week, but he can’t get reporters to show up for his infrequent press conferences.

RELATED: LOL: Trump Starts 2023 with a New Year’s Eve Press Conference at Mar-a-Lago but Nobody Came

Trump’s crack about the DNC contributing to the pay for these hosts is a rather lame attempt to malign them politically. He seems oblivious to the fact that, if these late night comedy programs can be accused of being financial donors to Democrats, then what does that make Fox News, where the entire network is the Ministry of Propaganda for Trump and the GOP?

Trump and other right-wingnuts like to compare the ratings of the network late night shows to Greg Gutfeld on Fox News. However, that’s a blatantly dishonest comparison. The network shows air at 11:30pm local time (tape delayed) across the country. Gutfeld airs at 11:00pm Eastern time nationwide. That means that Gutfeld is on at 8:00pm in Pacific time, 9:00pm Central, etc. Therefore, most of the nation sees Gutfeld in primetime when there are more people watching television. Plus, Fox has their built-in cult audience that never changes channels.

Finally, Trump’s description of these shows as having “no laughs” raises the question: How does he know? Does he watch them? And if so, would he know a funny joke if he heard one? After all, has anyone ever actually seen him laugh? His face appears to be stuck in a permanent scowl. So he’s not exactly the best person to be criticizing comedy.

SEE ALSO: Crybaby Trump Bares His Ultra-Thin Skin in Tantrum Against Late Night Comedy Shows

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