Election

Rand Paul Follows Ted Cruz To Sean Hannity’s Fox News/GOP Welcoming Party

Posted by on April 8, 2015 at 12:05 pm. 11 Comments :

Yesterday marked the arrival of the second official candidate for the Republican Party’s nomination for President of the United States. Kentucky senator, and former self-certified ophthalmologist, Rand Paul placed himself in contention for the nomination at the Galt House in Louisville. For those fortunate enough to have never slogged through Ayn Rand’s tedious and preachy novel “Atlas Shrugged,” John Galt is a leading figure who is best known for epitomizing the childish “take my ball and go home” philosophy of social interaction.

Rand Paul 2016

In what may signal a trend in the GOP’s strategy for launching a political campaign, Paul went straight from the Galt House to Sean Hannity’s House at Fox News for his first post-announcement interview. That is exactly what Ted Cruz did after announcing his candidacy at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University, where students were threatened with fines if they did not attend. Perhaps Fox News has implemented the same policy wherein Republican candidates will be fined, or otherwise punished, if they do not pay their respects to Hannity before proceeding with their campaign.

While it is no surprise that GOP presidential wannabes would kowtow to Fox News (aka the PR division of the Republican Party), it is a demonstration of their arrogance that they are not at least trying to disguise their biases for the sake of appearing to be credible. Apparently that ship has sailed, been commandeered by Fox pirates, and is now rusting on the ocean floor.

As for Paul, he delivered what he called a “a message that is loud and clear and does not mince words.” Indeed, it was loud. And that message turned out to be decades old sloganeering whose words relay nothing of substance: “We have come to take our country back.” It’s easy to mock this theme by asking simply “back to what?” From all appearances, Paul wants to take us back to the Reagan years, with its soaring deficits, crushing unions and working people, abandonment of the poor and mentally ill to the streets, and illegally bankrolling foreign terrorists with money made from selling arms to terrorist states.

However, the more interesting question is who does Paul mean when says “We?” The “we” that he is leading so that he can snatch the country back from the citizens who twice elected Barack Obama, are the bankers, oil barons, and other privileged elites who he would free from regulations that protect the public from their greed and abuse. Paul is a favorite of the Koch brothers and, of course, Fox News kingpin, Rupert Murdoch.

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Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
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It will be interesting to see how the rest of the GOP roster rolls out their campaigns. Marco Rubio is anticipated to be next in line. He would be smart to skip the Hannity ring-kissing ceremony, if just to differentiate himself from the pack. After all, he could go straight to Megyn Kelly and still satisfy his bosses at the network.

And just for fun…

Paul was famously outed as a plagiarist by Rachel Maddow who noticed that his speeches were curiously identical to the Wikipedia page for the movie Gattaca. If that seems like an odd source for staking a false claim of authorship, then what do we make of his having designed a logo for his presidential campaign that appears to be a rip-off of the logo for the hook-up site, Tinder?

World on Fire

I’m just asking. And while we’re at it, why do both Paul and Cruz feature flames in their logos? Is it to convey their belief that “the world is on fire,” as Cruz told a frightened little girl?

UPDATE: Marco Rubio did indeed make Hannity his first media stop. That makes Hannity and the GOP field three for three.

Fox News Resurrects Disgraced Pundit Dick Morris To Forecast Clinton’s Demise

Posted by on April 6, 2015 at 6:50 pm. 16 Comments :

Following President Obama’s reelection victory over Mitt Romney in 2012, the Fox News contributor who missed the call by the widest margin was the notorious Dick Morris. In a remarkably wild prediction, Morris was adamant that Romney would not only beat Obama, but would win by a landslide. When that prediction proved to be as absurd as predicting that Sarah Palin would be invited to join Mensa, Fox News declined to renew Morris’ contract, otherwise known as firing him.

Fox News Dick Morris

This Easter weekend, when rising from the dead was on every good Fox viewer’s mind, Morris himself emerged from the tomb of former Foxies to tell host Jeanine Pirro exactly what her audience was yearning to hear.

Morris: If [Hillary Clinton] goes down over this [email] scandal, which I think she will, it’ll cause enormous losses in 2016. Not just the presidency but mammoth losses in Congress.

So according to Morris, Clinton will not make it past the Democratic primary, and if she does, she will suffer a humiliating loss and take the whole party down with her. In fact, in response to a question from Pirro, Morris was unable to speculate on any advice he might give her to get out of the “mess” she’s in because it’s “way beyond” that and it is now a “disaster.”

Apparently Morris is unaware that Clinton is beating every Republican she’s matched against in most polling. But the fact that Morris is stupendously oblivious to reality isn’t really what makes this significant. After all, Morris is the same pundit who wrote the book “Condi vs. Hillary,” which contained his astute prediction for the 2008 presidential race in the title. That didn’t exactly pan out for him, did it? From the introduction to the book:

{T]here is no doubt that Hillary Clinton is on a virtually uncontested trajectory to win the Democratic nomination and, very likely, the 2008 presidential election. She has no serious opposition in her party […]

The stakes are high. In 2008, no ordinary white male Republican candidate will do. Forget Bill Frist, George Allen, and George Pataki. Hillary would easily beat any of them. Rudy Giuliani and John McCain? Either of them could probably win, but neither will ever be nominated by the Republican Party.

So Morris got the Democratic nominee wrong, despite his conviction that there was “no doubt.” He also got the Republican nominee wrong. And the Republican who Morris said could not be nominated, but would win if he were, was nominated but actually lost. Is there any way he could have been more wrong?

What’s truly troubling about this new boneheaded commentary from Morris is that he’s back on Fox News to deliver it. Fox is so desperate for frothing, rabid Clinton hating that they have dug up the corpse of Dick Morris to make his famously idiotic prognostications that have no hope of ever coming to pass. That tells us something about the direction that Fox is moving in as the 2016 campaign season begins to heat up.

They are going full-bore into manic, psycho, loony, hysteria mode. So be prepared for a display of batshittery that surpasses anything that we’ve seen before from the Romney campaign or even Sarah Palin. The wingnut parade is going to be marching even farther out on the ledge than ever before. And Fox News will be covering it all with the flashing graphics, clanging gongs, and blathering airheads that have become their trademark.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Ready For Bibi: Republican Leaders Trying To Draft Netanyahu For President In 2016

Posted by on April 1, 2015 at 11:25 am. 6 Comments :

The presidential electoral season is rapidly heating up with candidates for both sides jockeying for position. Most of the activity is on the Republican side as the Democrats have not yet fielded a candidate that is seriously challenging Hillary Clinton.

The list of Republican hopefuls is long and comical, including such farces as Ted Cruz, Donald Trump, and Ben Carson. Those considered “establishment” contenders like Jeb Bush and Lindsey Graham have been rejected outright by the Tea Party base. Consequently, there is a sucking vacuum of emptiness in the GOP that threatens to sink their 2016 aspirations before they even get started.

Given the lack of any candidates that can unite the party and generate the energy and passion necessary to win next November, the GOP is casting a wider net in search of a more palatable offering. The consensus among insiders in the party is that Israels’s Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu best fits the bill to fire up a demoralized GOP that has lost two straight elections to a black guy.

Netanyahu GOP

That makes the recent travels of Republican leaders to Israel a more significant news story than previously disclosed. Mitch McConnell, the GOP chieftain in the Senate was there last week and huddled with Netanyahu, taking his side against President Obama regarding the sensitive negotiations over Iran’s nuclear arms capabilities. Next up is John Boehner, the GOP Speaker of the House, who is also scheduled to fluff Netanyahu during a trip to the holy land. These trips, it turns out, were not solely excursions to attempt to embarrass Obama on an international stage. Sources in the GOP have revealed that they were arranged to recruit Netanyahu as the next Republican nominee for president of the United States.

While there would be some obstacles to a Netanyahu candidacy, there are also some distinct advantages from the Republican perspective. Netanyahu is a war hawk who gives American conservatives goose bumps when he talks about escalating hostilities in the already volatile region. He has demonstrated a total inability to manage his nation’s economy, which should also excite Republicans who have made that their trademark in the United States. And best of all, he hates President Obama with a passion that comes very close to that of the Tea Party right in America.

The question of his citizenship is expected to be buried in a campaign that emphasizes his strong personal character that has the divine power to overcome trivialities like constitutional law. Republicans are planning to flood the media with arguments of equivalency to Obama’s Kenyan nativity and even to Ted Cruz’s birth in Canada to a Cuban lieutenant of Fidel Castro.

The religious right has long been one of the most powerful and loyal constituencies in the GOP. Their influence in this can also be felt as they regard a Netanyahu presidency as a prelude to the End Times that they so fervently await. They see his ascendancy as a path to war in the Middle East and eventually to the Apocalypse.

Fox News is also on board as the network of Christian soldiers who believe that a return to the Crusades would benefit both their political goals and their ratings. With a roster heavily weighted by devout Catholics, they are the closest thing in media to a Vatican PR office. The Fox faithful include: Bill O’Reilly, Sean Hannity, Megyn Kelly, Bret Baier, Bill Hemmer, Brian Kilmeade, Andrew Napolitano, Jeanine Pirro, Laura Ingraham, Dennis Kucinich, Elisabeth Hasselbeck, and Father Morris. Rupert Murdoch, the CEO of Fox News parent News Corp was himself inducted into the “Knights of the Order of Saint Gregory the Great” by Pope John Paul II. And if that isn’t enough, the current Senior Communications Adviser in the Vatican’s Secretariat of State, Greg Burke, was previously the Fox News correspondent covering the Vatican, a position he held for ten years.

No timetable has been set as to when Netanyahu would announce his candidacy. However, there doesn’t seem to be any hurry as their is only one announced candidate to date (Ted Cruz) and no one is taking him seriously. The first debate (on Fox News, of course) isn’t scheduled until August. That gives Netanyahu time to settle his affairs in Israel and make several trips to Iowa and New Hampshire. Historically, campaign announcements have not been made on or around April 1st for the obvious reason: That it is simply too early in the cycle.

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Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
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Glenn Beck ‘Made A Little List’ For Bill O’Reilly Explaining Why He Left The Republican Party

Posted by on March 26, 2015 at 12:45 pm. 1 Comments :

Last week Glenn Beck made an announcement that generated an overly prodigious amount of media attention. He said that he was done with the Republican Party, elaborating that…

“I have made my decision. I am out. I am not a Republican. I will not give a dime to the Republican party. I am out. I highly recommend run from the Republican party. They are not good.”

And that Republicans…

“…have the spine of a worm, the ethics of whores, and the integrity of pirates.”

Glenn Beck

Since then, Beck has gone to war with Karl Rove and other GOP apologists. But he also praised some notable GOP worms, whores, and pirates. He virtually endorsed Ted Cruz for president, while maintaining that his mind is still open to Rand Paul and Scott Walker. All three are Republicans. He expressed surprise that his public resignation from the party created such a stir since he has said the same thing for years. That’s true, but if so then why did he say it again in the present tense and with such a flair as if it was a new revelation? It wouldn’t have been for the media attention, would it?

This week Beck visited his old pal Bill O’Reilly to explain his departure from the Worm Party. O’Reilly was convinced that Republicans were doing what they had to do in order to win elections (i.e. whores). But Beck wouldn’t have any of that. He had prepared a list of the grievances he holds for the Grand Old Pirates. Here is that list:

  • They surrendered on the abortion bill.
  • Surrendered on executive orders on illegal immigration.
  • Common Core.
  • They helped push through 3.5 trillion dollars of deficits this last year.
  • They won’t fight ObamaCare.
  • They voted to confirm Cass Sunstein.
  • They thwarted the bill on the NSA data collection.
  • They’re still not doing anything on Benghazi.
  • They haven’t done anything on the targeting of conservatives by the IRS.
  • They haven’t done anything on the V.A.
  • They also threw an election against Chris McDaniel to Thad Cochran. They actually went to the Democrats and played the race card.

That list is a steaming heap of wingnut dementia. Let’s explore its contents.

Beck doesn’t say what abortion bill was surrendered, but I defy anyone to identify an anti-abortion bill that Republicans didn’t support 100%. The only recent issue is a bill on sex trafficking into which Republicans slipped some anti-abortion language without telling Democrats. So Democrats have held up the bill, but Republicans are still standing firm. So contrary to Beck’s assertion, there is no surrender.

On immigration and executive orders Beck seems to think that Speaker Boehner’s unprecedented lawsuit against the administration is tantamount to surrender. Likewise, holding up the confirmation vote for Attorney General nominee Loretta Lynch doesn’t convince Beck that the GOP is serious about opposing the President on this.

Beck’s inclusion of Common Core in this list merely reveals his utter ignorance of the issue. Common Core is an initiative launched and implemented by local and state education officials. The federal government has nothing to do with it and there is no law to oppose. It is an entirely voluntary project.

They won’t fight ObamaCare? Apparently more than 50 votes to repeal or cripple the law doesn’t qualify as fighting it.

Cass Sunstein is a favorite foil for Beck. He has called Sunstein “the most dangerous man in the world.” Only Beck can explain what drives that obsession, however, most Republicans in Congress voted not to confirm him for his position as administrator of the Office of Information and Regulatory Affairs (from which he resigned two and a half years ago). Only five Republicans voted for him and had they not, Sunstein would still have had enough votes for confirmation.

Benghazi? Really? They’re still not doing anything on Benghazi? Hundreds of hearings, subpoenas, and a media assault that has made the word a sad cliche to represent delusional overreaction, and Beck still thinks that they have done nothing?

On the IRS and the Veterans Administration – see Benghazi. And google Darrell Issa.

The list item that Beck saved for last concerned an election in Mississippi where a Tea Party candidate that Beck supported was defeated by an incumbent Republican in the primary. Beck is still holding a grudge over his candidate losing, even though McDaniels pretty much threw the election himself by participating in a scandalous invasion of privacy that his campaign executed wherein they sneaked into a nursing home to take pictures of Cochran’s ailing wife.

In short, Beck’s list of reasons for leaving the Republican Party are mostly a result of his clinical dementia. For the most part Republicans have been pursuing everything that Beck would have them pursue. The fact that they are getting nowhere is only due to there being no there there. If Beck had any better method of achieving his goals, or any better evidence of wrongdoing, then why hasn’t he presented it?

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Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
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The only thing Beck has to offer is his hysterical conspiracy theories and his determination to glorify himself. He has all the credibility of a snake oil salesman turned revival show evangelist. And the fact that Fox News continues to give him a platform to spew his psychotic ramblings is just more proof that Fox is a network that has nothing to do with news.

Ben Carson Running For Sarah Palin’s ‘Dumbest Tea-Publican’ Title

Posted by on March 25, 2015 at 1:50 pm. 4 Comments :

Who would ever have thought that a potential candidate for the Republican Party’s nomination for President of the United States would ever seriously challenge Sarah Palin’s epic idiocy? After all, the woman who couldn’t name a magazine that she reads and thinks that Africa is a country ought to have a lock on the contest for dumbfuckery.

Ben Carson

Enter former neurosurgeon Ben Carson. Apparently the medical degree and years of laudatory practice have not proved to be obstacles to asinine blathering. In an interview with GQ Magazine, Carson demonstrated his aptitude for derangement by referring to President Obama as a psychopath because he looks great “like most psychopaths. That’s why they’re successful. That’s the way they look. They all look great.” You have to wonder if that’s his medical diagnosis or if he’s just riffing ala Glenn Beck.

However, as stupid as that was, it was not what earned him the honor of toppling Sarah Palin from her pinhead perch. No, Carson had to exceed his previous efforts that included saying that America is “very much like Nazi Germany” and advocating dumping the Geneva Conventions. So he dug deep and came up with this response to an Israeli tour guide’s impromptu lesson on Israeli politics:

“And what is the role of the Knesset?” he interjected. This prompted a tutorial on Israel’s legislature. Carson is a tall, dignified-looking man with a placid, almost sleepy face. As he tried to concentrate on his Hebrew Schoolhouse Rock primer, he seemed even more fatigued. “It sounds complex,” he finally said. “Why don’t they just adopt the system we have?”

Brilliant! Why indeed? In fact, why hasn’t every nation abandoned their government processes and implemented the only ones that Dr. Carson can at least pretend to understand? After all, Israel’s parliamentary system is very much like other democracies around the world that have existed far longer than ours. So obviously it is too complex to be comprehended by a mere brain surgeon. As opposed to America’s simplistic bicameral republic that even the Supreme Court has wrestled with for a couple of centuries.

Carson’s painfully naive request that Israel scrap their government and replace it with another shows just how pitifully unqualified he is to hold any public office that might require him to make diplomatic decisions. If he thinks that parliamentary democracy is complex, imagine how much communism would confuse him. Would his foreign policy initiatives for Russia and China be that they just adopt the system we have?

While it is disturbing that an adult seeking to be elected to the highest office in the land has such an ignorant grasp of the world, it is downright depressing that there are so many Americans who regard him as qualified to hold that office. What has happened to the Republican Party that was once the home of Abraham Lincoln and Dwight Eisenhower?

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Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
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Will George Zimmerman Be The Next Tea Party Republican For President?

Posted by on March 24, 2015 at 11:17 am. 7 Comments :

Two years ago News Corpse published a satirical article announcing that Fox News had signed teen murderer George Zimmerman to host a new program called “Stand Your Ground.” The article purported to have sources inside Fox who confirmed the news and noted that…

“The controversial signing is consistent with Fox’s programming philosophy of exploiting the transient publicity of media spectacles by drafting the beneficiaries of inordinate press attention, despite a lack of experience or qualifications – e.g. Sarah Palin.

Fox News George Zimmerman

“The preliminary format for the Zimmerman program is said to consist of segments analyzing breaking crime dramas such as murderous spouses, kidnapped sorority girls, celebrity arrests, high-speed police chases, and any stray rumors involving presidential sex scandals. Fox News contributor, and noted racist ex-cop, Mark Fuhrman, will have a regular spot on the panel segment to offer his expertise in undermining criminal prosecutions with racial epithets. In that respect Fuhrman, who famously extolled the virtues of the “N” word, shares common ground with Zimmerman who regards innocent black teenagers walking through his neighborhood as “fucking punks.”

Well, it turns out that that may not have been far-fetched enough. Zimmerman has now released a video (below) he made with his divorce lawyer that positions him for a starring role in the Republican presidential primary. Sensing the Tea Party’s affection for strident anti-Obama ranting, Zimmerman is now joining the Obama Derangement Society in blaming the President for anything and everything they can think of. If Obama can be blamed for ISIS, cop shootings in Ferguson, and even Hurricane Katrina, then why not make him responsible for Zimmerman’s prosecution for murdering an unarmed kid. On that matter Zimmerman said that the President was…

“…pitting Americans against each other totally based on race […] for him to make incendiary comments as he did, and to direct the Department of Justice to pursue a baseless prosecution he, by far, overstretched, overreached, even broke the law in certain aspects.”

Adopting the rhetoric that Obama is “lawless” puts Zimmerman in the company of folks like Ted Cruz and Rand Paul and Ben Carson, all regarded by the GOP as viable candidates while spewing baseless and irrational charges. For the wingnut constituency, that’s all it takes to be considered presidential timber. After all, Carson has no more experience than Zimmerman to be the leader of the free world, and he is taken seriously by the Teabaggers. So why not Zimmerman? It’s just a matter of time, unless Fox scoops him up first.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

The World Is On Fire: Ted Cruz Ignites The GOP Presidential Primary Season

Posted by on March 23, 2015 at 12:12 pm. 4 Comments :

Today marks the official start of the Republican Presidential primaries. First out of the Clown Car is freshman Texas senator Ted Cruz. As the first candidate to announce, Cruz is bucking the odds where electoral history records that no candidate who announced first has prevailed since 1952.

Ted Cruz

Cruz has bigger problems than a statistical curse. His popularity in a large field of contenders is decidedly weak. Coming in at eighth in the RealClear polling average, he is trailing outliers like Ben Carson and Chris Christie. And he is also near the bottom of the pack in a match-up against Hillary Clinton, losing to the prospective Democratic nominee by double digits.

The only constituency where Cruz is viewed favorably is the Glenn Beck/Tea Party crowd of dimwitted right-wing extremists. There aren’t enough of them to get Cruz to the White House. Hell, there aren’t enough of them to get Cruz to the House of Pies.

He’s a candidate without a portfolio. After all the harping by conservatives about whether President Obama was lacking experience when he ran for president, they are now being asked to support someone with even less experience. Although both were senators for only two years when they ran, Obama spent seven years in the Illinois state legislature prior to becoming a senator. What’s more, the same crackpots who insisted that Obama was not qualified to be president due to their delusional claims about his birthplace and communist upbringing, don’t seem to have any problem with Cruz, who was born in Canada to a Cuban father who fought alongside Fidel Castro.

The irascible Cruz’s tenure in the senate is fraught with controversy. Even his Republican colleagues were embarrassed by his attempt to shut down the government with a filibuster that featured a reading of “Green Eggs and Ham.” Likewise, Cruz angered his peers when his greenhorn maneuvering permitted Democratic Leader Harry Reid to get confirmations for two dozen Obama appointees that would have otherwise been bypassed.

On policy Cruz is as far to the right as one can get. He has never seen a war or military escalation he didn’t love. He is a science denier who rejects both Climate Change and evolution. He opposes immigration reform, marriage equality, raising the minimum wage, and abortion even in cases of rape or incest. He voted against reauthorizing the Violence Against Women Act. He would demolish the wall of separation between church and state. He has made repealing “every word” of the Affordable Care Act (aka ObamaCare) a centerpiece of his platform, despite the fact that it would explode the deficit and cause millions of Americans to lose their health insurance.

In his public statements, Cruz has been less than credible. Aside from having an overtly hostile personality that disrespects his opponents and their offices, his track record for honesty is dismal. PolitiFact has rated two-thirds of his statements as “Mostly False” or worse. That’s a lower percentage than all of the other main GOP candidates.

The good news (or bad news depending on your appreciation of political comedy and/or absurdist performance art) is that Cruz has almost no chance of winning the Republican nomination. He may rise to the top of the heap briefly as almost all GOP contenders do (see Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, Sarah Palin, Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich, Donald Trump). But he cannot prevail over the more establishment oriented Jeb Bush or Scott Walker. He is the poster boy for wingnut conservatism. And he is bought and paid for by the Koch brothers, although he is not the lone Republican with that distinction. Walker, Marco Rubio, and Rand Paul all appeared with Cruz at a recent Koch-fest to plead for their anointing. But it was Cruz who went the extra distance by praising his hosts becuase they “stood up for free-market principles and endured vilification.”

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

In his announcement speech, Cruz hit on all of the cliche right-wing drool enhancers: America uber-alles, God-centered government, and Ayn Randian self-interest in all matters. He spun his personal biography as a child of immigrants, whom he hopes to prevent from achieving the same American dream that his family enjoyed.

He basked in the warm reception he received from the captive audience at Jerry Falwell’s Liberty University where the announcement took place. [Update: The students were required to attend or be fined] It was an appropriate venue for the sanctimonious son of a fire-and-brimstone evangelical preacher who truly believes that the world is on fire already. Which may explain his campaign logo: An upside flag that is aflame. And his announcement PR continues tonight on (where else) Fox News as he canoodles with Sean Hannity for the full hour.

Get Ready To RUMBLE: Glenn Beck And Karl Rove Throwdown Over The GOP

Posted by on March 21, 2015 at 4:25 pm. 2 Comments :

The upcoming Republican presidential primaries promise to be an entertainment extravaganza for America in general and for Democrats in particular. The warring factions are preparing for a bloody conflagration as the radical Tea Party aims to hammer the hapless establishment for being ineffective cowards, and the establishment plots to cast the Tea Partiers as unrealistic losers. However, the fracturing coalition of wingnuts that comprise the GOP (Greedy One Percent) is already beginning to fray around the edges even before the campaign season has officially commenced.

This week’s preliminaries were initiated by self-described rodeo clown and crazy person, Glenn Beck, who came out swinging with a rant about how awful the Republican Party is. For most Americans Beck was just stating the obvious. And his declaration that he was “done with it” was not even new for him. Nevertheless, he reiterated that…

“I have made my decision. I am out. I am not a Republican. I will not give a dime to the Republican party. I am out. I highly recommend run from the Republican party. They are not good.”

Well, that might not go down well with Ted Cruz, Marco Rubio, Scott Walker, Ben Carson, and all the other Republicans currently mulling a run for the Republican nomination, rather than running from it. And Mike Lee, Tom Cotton, Louie Gohmert, Steve King, and other GOP members of Congress may likewise not appreciate it. These all happen to be people for whom Beck has deep affection, but from whom he is now recommending running.

However, the main event will be the reaction from veteran GOP hack, and Bush’s brain, Karl Rove. Turdblosson appeared on Fox News (where else) to counter Beck’s uppercut, and he brought his whiteboard with him. Rove deflected Beck’s broadside as being “old news” and noted that he had never donated to the GOP in the first place. Rove continued by denigrating Cruz, a Beck favorite, as a hypocrite. In the end, Rove surmised that Beck’s renouncement might hurt a bit, but would not have a lasting impact.

But this aint over. Beck responded to Rove’s defense of the establishment with a long, rambling Facebook post that filled in all of the gaps Beck left in his earlier tirade. He explicitly cited what he regarded as the failures of a hopelessly ineffectual GOP. He specifically mentioned the deficit, ObamaCare, immigration, and the insane conspiracy theory about Grover Norquist. Also on his list of particulars are Network Neutrality, Common Core, the IRS, Cass Sunstein, and of course, Benghazi. In other words, the usual bullshit that wingnuts have been rattling their cages over for years. But the knockout punch has to be this stinger:

“You guys have the spine of a worm, the ethics of whores, and the integrity of pirates. (My apologies to worms, whores and pirates).”

Glenn Beck

Ouch! That’s gonna leave a mark. Although I can’t say that I disagree with him. But how will Rove ever recover from that? It’s hard to predict the outcome of this first round battle when both parties are such pitiful has beens. Nobody really cares what either of them have to say, except for their own glassy-eyed disciples. But it is a fun opener that portends even greater amusement as the real candidates bounce into the ring. So settle back and be sure to have plenty of refreshments handy. This may be a good time to buy stock in Orville Redenbacher.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Donald Trump Is Running For President – Of Dumbfuckistan

Posted by on March 18, 2015 at 2:09 pm. 13 Comments :

This is a MEDICAL ALERT. If you believe that Donald Trump is running for president, stick an ice pick in your eye to see if you can get your brain started again. Don’t worry about damaging any important grey matter because if you bought Trump’s scam there is little left in your skull to damage.

Donald Trump

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For those paying attention, Trump has been pretending to run for president for decades. He blathers about his “intentions” for a few weeks, insists that he is the only one who can save America from ruin, gets a bunch of idiot pundits to join the speculation, then retreats to his Manhattan penthouse to restock his bar and fluff his weasel-hair toupee. In his latest fake campaign, Trump announced that…

“Americans deserve better than what they get from their politicians — who are all talk and no action.”

Didn’t he just describe himself for the past thirty years? And why Trump would think that Americans would vote for him when 74%, according to a recent NBC/Wall Street Journal poll, view him negatively (the lowest by far of all candidates), and his track record in business includes four bankruptcies, is a question that only Trump’s ego can answer.

Trump’s platform consists mainly of anti-Obama mythologies such as his Kenyan birth, his Muslim faith, his ghost-written books, and his fake academic credentials. Trump has bought in to every hysterical conspiracy theory that has ever been floated about Obama. But who can deny Trump’s own resume that prepares him to lead the free world? After all, he has appeared on a reality TV show alongside Gary Busey and Meatloaf. What more could you want?

The best evidence that Trump is not running for anything other than the attention of dimwitted Fox News pundits and Tea Party basket cases is the response by NBC to his announcement that he will not be returning to Celebrity Apprentice. A spokesman for the network told Politico that “NBC Entertainment is planning to go ahead with production,” and that they would not be making any further comments. Notice that nothing in their statement confirmed that Trump had quit. Generally when that occurs the network would express its gratitude for the many years working together and extend their best wishes for the future. If NBC had the slightest inkling that Trump was serious they would not be committing production budgets and personnel to business as usual.

So to those who still think that a broadly unpopular loser, whose TV bosses don’t even believe him, is actually throwing his wig in the ring, please report to the nearest mental hospital. Trump would have a better chance of winning his Miss USA beauty pageant than a ticket to the White House. Although he would need a new hairpiece and some sort of act for the talent portion of the show.

News Corpse Presents: The ALL NEW 2nd volume of
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Addendum: In the highly unlikely event that Trump goes through with this charade (delighting Democrats everywhere), NBC could still proceed with Apprentice by getting Mitt Romney to take over the show. He is another hollow multimillionaire who likes to fire people. In fact, the GOP has a deep bench in that category.

Sarah Palin And Other Netanyahu Groupies May Soon Find Themselves Leaderless

Posted by on March 3, 2015 at 8:13 pm. 11 Comments :

The much anticipated speech by Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu before a joint session of Congress has come and gone leaving a notable aroma of anti-climax. After being hailed by many in politics and the press as an historic occasion, there was nothing of substance revealed in the address. It turned out to be a tale of a dystopian future that mimicked the doomsday rantings of Glenn Beck, complete with caliphates and the collapsing of civilization.

John Boehner’s invitation to Netanyahu violated decades of protocol and was a blatantly political slap at President Obama. Republicans heralded the speech as a vital moment to embrace an important ally. In fact, they implied that any opposition to the controversial appearance was tantamount to being anti-Israel and even anti-Semitic (as Andrea Tantaros of Fox News opined twice). The American right is shamelessly infatuated with Netanyahu and regard him as a superior model of leadership to our own president who was popularly elected twice.

Netanyahu enjoys the admiration of conservatives who favor posturing for war over diplomacy. They have elevated him to hero status and fantasize about having him replace Obama in the White House. Sarah Palin has gone even further by seeking to profit from her crush by selling t-shirts emblazoned with his picture and the oath “I Stand With Bibi.”

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However, these conservative Bibi disciples may come to regret their insistence that loyalty to the current Israeli Prime Minister (a war-mongering conservative) is equivalent to loyalty to Israel. That’s because in a couple of weeks there may very well be a new Prime Minister with a very different worldview. The Guardian reports that…

“Binyamin Netanyahu’s campaign for re-election for a fourth term as Israel’s prime minister appears to be stumbling, with recent polls suggesting he is marginally behind his biggest challenger, Isaac Herzog.”

Herzog is the leader of Israel’s Labor Party and has a more liberal, inclusive political philosophy. He represents a coalition that seeks peace through cooperation. He is a lawyer, a member of the Knesset (Israel’s legislature), a former IDF intelligence officer, and is every bit as determined to insure Israel’s security as Netanyahu. But he believes that a two-state solution negotiated and enforced with neighbors in the region is the way to end the decades-long hostilities.

If Herzog prevails in the March 17 election, it will be interesting to see if the right-wingers in the U.S. continue to regard the Prime Minister as the official proxy for all things Israel. Will they invite him to speak before a joint session of Congress? Will they hang on his every word. Will they repudiate as disloyal anyone who dares to disagree with him? Will they hawk t-shirts with his smiling face and promises to stand with him?

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It doesn’t take much courage to slide out on a limb and predict that the wingnut contingent would not give Herzog the same measure of respect that they give to Netanyahu. And you might wait a long time to be able to buy a Herzog t-shirt from Sarah Palin’s PAC. So while Israel would benefit enormously from the election of a Labor Party majority, There’s another reason why Americans should root for that outcome. Because it would just be so much fun watching Republican pols and pundits squirming to validate their disdain for an Israeli PM after demanding allegiance to their hero Netanyahu.