News Corpse » Glenn Beck:

Tag Archives: Glenn Beck

May 10 2013 10 cmnts

The Talk Radio Congress: Mainstreaming The Madness Of Conspiracy Theories

Posted by: Mark @ 7:55 am

Once upon a time, the most outlandish fantasies of fringe political fabulists were confined to a narrow spectrum on the AM radio dial. They concocted delusional narratives that ranged from murderous first ladies to galactic alliances with Martians. It was an entertaining world of fiction and a guilty pleasure for some, even as the true believers were convinced of the frightening fate that was unfolding.

Today, however, the boundaries between rational political discourse and raving madness have been erased. The extremist peddlers of nightmare scenarios who were once thought to be charmingly eccentric at 1:00am are now advising elected representatives of the people to initiate investigations and draft bills addressing these non-existent threats. Congress today hosts members who are no more reliable (or sane) than the wooly denizens of Alex Jones-land or the lie factory of Fox Nation. Here are just a few of the urban legends that are now circulating in the halls of state and federal legislative bodies courtesy of the whack job broadcasting set.

The UN Arms Treaty That Threatens US Sovereignty
Buttheads The United Nations recently passed an initiative to address the proliferation of “illegal” arms trading amongst terrorists and rogue nations. As expected, the right-wing Chicken Little Brigade immediately began protesting that this was another attempt to dilute national sovereignty and bring about a one-world government. Of course, there is nothing in the proposal that would infringe on the rights of any nation to set their own standards for gun ownership. The actual resolution explicitly states that countries will “exclusively” maintain the right within their borders to, “regulate internal transfers of arms and national ownership, including through national constitutional protections on private ownerships.“

This perfectly reasonable attempt to disarm criminals and tyrants was opposed initially by Alex Jones and similar fringe broadcasters. But eventually their outrage bubbled up to singe Republicans in congress who managed to prevent the treaty’s ratification. The GOP opposition was notable for the fact that it concurred with the only three UN nations that also opposed it: Syria, Iran, and North Korea.

Communists Have infiltrated The US Government
This may seem like a throwback to the 1950′s and the Red Scare promulgated by Sen. Joseph McCarthy and others. But make no mistake, this is all too current. Commie hunters in the fringe media are still accusing all liberals of having pinko sympathies. And they have an ally in former representative Allen West, who is now hosting his own web cast. West told a group of supporters that “I believe there’s about 78 to 81 members of the Democrat Party who are members of the Communist Party. It’s called the Congressional Progressive Caucus.” West lost his seat last November, but it is important to note that the leadership in the House never rebuked him or dissociated themselves or the GOP from his remarks.

Muslims Have Infiltrated The US Government
This is a corollary to the commie conspiracy updated to smear a more contemporary foe. Originally this allegation was espoused by the infamous Islamophobe Pamela Geller. She latched unto the fact that then-Secretary of State Hillary Clinton had a close aide with a Muslim-sounding name. Huma Abedin has worked for Clinton for more than a decade and is respected by all who know her. She was even defended by House Speaker John Boehner and Sen. John McCain. That didn’t stop a cabal of House members, led by Tea Party queen Michele Bachmann, to fire off a letter to the State Department demanding an investigation and alleging that Abedin had ties to the Muslim Brotherhood.

There was never any evidence provided to support these allegations. Nor is there any evidence accompanying the new accusations by Texas Rep. Louie Gohmert, who told WorldNetDaily that Obama deliberately “bungled” the investigation of the Boston marathon bombing because “this administration has so many Muslim Brotherhood members that have influence.”

Benghazi Is Obama’s Watergate
Fox Nation - Benghazi The king of right-wing talk radio, Rush Limbaugh got the ball rolling with this one. He alleged on his program that Obama was deliberately blocking the investigation into the attack on the US facility in Libya. Limbaugh could not come up with an explanation for why Obama would want to stymie the inquiry, so the implication left hanging was that he had some connection to the attack that he wanted to cover up.

Numerous other media outlets jumped on this mini-bandwagon with Fox News assuming a prominent role. Every Fox program began banging the Benghazi drum, and integral to their publicity push was escalating the scandal to include congressional players to add Washington credibility (such as it is). Republicans like Lindsey Graham and John McCain were happy to comply.

The Most Important Story In History
Not one to be ignored, Glenn Beck joined the fray with what he considered to be the “most important story in history.” The plot involved a Saudi man who was briefly questioned following the Boston marathon bombing. It was quickly discovered that he was a victim, not a suspect, and he was released to recover from his injuries. Beck, however, would not let go of the story. He threatened the White House that if they were not forthcoming with the truth about this, he would reveal the evidence he had that would blow the roof off the White House.

Beck’s deadline came and went with no revelations of scandal. He merely repeated what he had previously alleged, which had already been debunked. Which makes it all the more curious that four members of congress are officially demanding answers from the Department of Homeland Security based on what they call “media reports,” but are really just Beck’s psychotic discharges.

The Government Is Stockpiling Ammunition To Kill Us All
Last year there was a flurry of panicky hand-wringing by notorious conspiracy mongers over reports that agencies of the federal government had purchased large caches of ammunition. In the minds of the nutcases on the right, that was evidence that the DHS is plotting a response to some impending disaster scenario wherein they will be forced to kill every person in America five times. That is precisely what Mark Levin, Sean Hannity’s replacement for Sarah Palin, is terrorizing his radio listeners with.

This phony horror story was summarily dismissed by the DHS with documentation and proof that nothing out of the ordinary was occurring. It was merely a purchase contract to lock in lower prices for ammunition used commonly by several law enforcement agencies for regular use and training. Nevertheless, congressional overreaction to the “news” has resulted in a General Accounting Office inquiry into the purchase request. That inquiry was spurred by GOP senator (and Levin listener) James Inhofe who has also drafted a bill to prohibit ammunition purchases in amounts larger than those of previous administrations. Presumably that’s to make sure that the black guy doesn’t get any ideas.

And Then There’s Agenda 21
Amongst the conspiracy theory elite there is only one supreme and all encompassing doctrine of apocalyptic disaster: Agenda 21. The furor over this initiative dates back to the John Birch Society. In reality it just a UN guide to sustainable environments that recommends some completely voluntary measures aimed at advancing smart growth and safer, more livable communities. It was adopted by 178 countries and signed for the U.S. by President George H.W. Bush. It was, however, never ratified by the senate.

Glenn Beck - Agenda 21 Somehow this benign project was transformed in the minds of conservative mythmakers into a monstrously evil plot to steal the liberty of all mankind. Glenn Beck even wrote a book about it wherein he describes it as “centralized control over all of human life on planet earth.” But the panic doesn’t stop there. Multiple state resolutions banning its implementation with a foreboding tenor have been enacted. For example, Tennessee’s resolution condemned its “destructive and insidious nature” and began by saying…

“WHEREAS, the United Nations Agenda 21 is a comprehensive plan of extreme environmentalism, social engineering, and global political control that was initiated at the United Nations Conference on Environment and Development…”

That’s fairly typical of the numerous legislative measures aimed at defending America from a tyrannical, global, one-world government, orchestrated by despotic environmentalists and the liberal media. And we might as well throw in George Soros because that’s who freshman senator Ted Cruz of Texas believes is responsible for the whole affair. Cruz has promised that he will “…continue leading the fight, to stop Agenda 21 and any other globalist plan that tries to subvert the U.S. Constitution and the liberties we all cherish as Americans.”

These delusional and thoroughly discredited inventions from the paranoia factories of Glenn Beck, Alex Jones, Rush Limbaugh, etc., were once the province of the radio backwoods and militia ham operators. And as frightening as these grim fairy tales are, what’s truly scary is that this conspiratorial fiction is now being embraced by elected officials in Washington and state houses across the country.

May 08 2013 2 cmnts

General

Glenn Beck Revokes His Own Honor Badge

Posted by: Mark @ 3:53 pm

In the past week Glenn Beck has made news of sorts by declaring his conviction that America is such an affront to God that He must destroy it, by presenting an image of the Jewish mayor of New York in a Nazi salute, and by portraying Jesus as a pistol-packin’ Messiah. But these are just common examples of the dementia that Beck endures on a daily basis.

Right Wing Watch has captured another example of Beck’s deranged incoherence that was revealed this week (video below). On May 3, 2013, Beck proudly discussed his role as a journalist while speculating wildly about the man who committed suicide in the Houston airport.

“As a journalist and somebody who runs a journalistic organization, here’s what I want you to look for.”

A mere three days later Beck was spinning yarns about Benghazi when he said this:

“I have always said that I am not a journalist. I’m an entrepreneur. I’m a thinker. But I wear it as a badge of honor that I am not a journalist.”

Let’s not even venture into the lunacy that Beck thinks he is a thinker, except to say that Jim Jones also had “thoughts.” However, Beck has obviously not always said that he isn’t a journalist, because he said he was one a few days earlier. And if not being a journalist earned him a “badge of honor,” then I suppose he will be returning that badge to whatever imaginary institution issued it.

May 05 2013 10 cmnts

General

NRA-Theism: Glenn Beck’s Jesus Was A Pistol-Packin’ Messiah

Posted by: Mark @ 12:13 pm

The keynote speaker for this year’s NRA convention in Houston was a real crowd pleaser with experience riling up weak-minded right-wing sheeple. Glenn Beck’s sermon was delivered with his usual flair for phony emotion and theatrics. Here is the video if you have the stomach for it.

Beck set up his speech by fluffing the audience with praise for what awesome, charitable, courageous, sexy, patriots they all were. Of course, they lapped up this drooling approbation like thirsty puppies and rewarded Beck’s pandering with masturbatory applause. Beck gave the people exactly what they wanted and even titillated them with a teasing hint of a new project he would be announcing “in the coming days” with “major partners.”

The primary message of Beck’s program, however, was a more overarching appeal to the grand province of the Lord, with whom Beck frequently reminds folks that he is in close communication. Never mind that Beck’s interpretation of the divine is in stark contrast to that of most theologians. Take, for instance, how he inexplicably juxtaposes the mission of the NRA with that of the Prince of Peace by saying “Our right to keep and bear arms will not be infringed. We will follow the footsteps of Jesus Christ.” And while Beck never reveals where in scripture he learned that Jesus’ footsteps were fortified with firearms, he returned to the theme several times with pronouncements like this:

“Jesus was a man of God. He was a man of peace. He was a man of forgiveness. But make no mistake, Jesus Christ was also immoveable. The right to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed. And we will win by strapping on the full armor of God.”

Perhaps someone should remind Beck that Jesus ordered his apostles to lay down their weapons when confronted with Roman soldiers who came to arrest him in the Garden of Gethsemane. Or maybe they just dismiss it as that old “live by the sword, die by the sword” nonsense that their savior mumbled while under duress. Or, much like the 2nd Amendment, they just heed the half of the text that appeals to them and throw out irrelevancies like “die by the sword” and “well regulated militia.” And where he gets this business about the “armor of God” that he’s so anxious to strap on (an unfortunate phrasing), is anybody’s guess. The closest similar rhetoric would come from the Crusades. In the end, it belittles any notion of a divine power that certainly doesn’t need to rely on the defensive accoutrements of mortals.

Beck railed on interminably, punctuating his evangelical bluster with warnings of end-times alarmism. He insisted that we are in a “precarious situation” and that “the hour grows late.” He feverishly hammered into the heads of his assembled masses the apocalyptic angst that is the hallmark of his nightmarish doctrine.

“Our freedom is under attack. Our liberty, our way of life is being legislated out of existence. Our rights are being diminished by a ruling class of power of elites. They’re growing out of control. We have a government of radical revolutionaries actively working against the Constitution and the American people.”

And after that upchucking of fear and darkness, Beck was steadfast in his determination to fight the left’s tactics of fear and darkness – with love. Because, as we all know, love is best expressed behind the muzzle of an assault weapon that was acquired without any background check. Just ask the children of Sandy Hook, the students of Virginia Tech, the movie fans of Aurora, or even the church-goers of Oak Creek, Wisconsin.

May 03 2013 5 cmnts

General, Wankery

Conspiracy Fabulist Glenn Beck On Houston, Nazi’s, And God’s Wrath

Posted by: Mark @ 9:56 am

Last week Tea-vangelist Glenn Beck spewed some delusional ravings about a Saudi man Beck believed was the mastermind of the Boston marathon bombing. That alarmist and unsupported nonsense fell flat with no one but the most deranged of the right-wing blogosphere paying any attention.

Consequently, Beck has had to come up with more idiotic imaginings from his clearly diseased brain. His newest paranoid hypothesis is that the man who showed up yesterday at the Houston airport firing an AR-15, and later committing suicide, was some sort of setup directed at the NRA’s convention being held in Houston.

Beck explained to his adoring audience that the connections are inescapable and he explicitly stated that any other possibility “is too much to believe.” His evidence for this certainty was apparently still stuck up his ass because he never brought it out for examination. Instead, he made an absurd accusation that some mysterious, unnamed plotters from the “uber-left” were behind the whole affair. And while you are looking for those imaginary connections, also keep in mind that the model for this false flag operation is the Nazi burning of the Reichstag.

There seems to be no bottom for Beck’s dementia. His sermonizing on the depths of the human condition, particularly in America, is driving him to conclude that we are an evil, godless nation (video below) that God is now compelled to destroy. No, seriously…

Beck: He has got to destroy us because we are becoming an affront to him, in every step of the way. We are denying his existence. We are denying his power. We are slapping him in the face. [...] Boy I don’t think he can trust us at all. Please Lord, remember the faces of those, please, that are trying to do the right thing. Please dear God, please dear Lord forgive us, please forgive us, please, please forgive us. See the faces of the people that are good, because there are millions of them. Give us strength to accept the things that must come.

This is not the first time that Beck has opined on the impending divine obliteration of America. The day before the election last November, Beck announced God’s mandate for destruction due to voters choosing to reelect President Obama:

Beck: If they’re so dead inside that they can no longer see the difference between good and evil, we have to be destroyed because we will be a remarkable evil on this planet.”

Beck is pretty well convinced of America’s demonic nature and God’s duty to eradicate it. It’s surprising, therefore, that he still resides here and even wants to build a mecca to his paranoia where blissful patriopaths can frolic in a world devoid of free-thinking lefties. But if the United States is bound for hell, there is still some land available in Guyana that Beck might look into.

Apr 29 2013 6 cmnts

General

Fox News Hammers Glenn Beck: “He Was Trying To Save His Ass”

Posted by: Mark @ 11:47 am

Here we go kiddies. Strap yourselves in because this ride is gonna get bumpy.

Last week Glenn Beck told Forbes Magazine that it was entirely his decision to leave Fox News and that it had nothing to do with the fact that he was bleeding viewers and advertisers like a drunken hemophiliac:

Beck: If you stay in it too long, you become Norma Desmond. I remember feeling, ‘If you do not leave now, you won’t leave with your soul intact.’

Beck apparently stayed too long because his soul is in tatters, and he is committed to likewise shredding the souls of his disciples. Setting that aside, the folks at Fox News are not taking Beck’s whining sitting down. They gave Politico a response that doesn’t pull any punches:

Fox Spokesman: Glenn Beck wasn’t trying to save his soul, he was trying to save his ass. Advertisers fled his show and even Glenn knows what that means in our industry. Yet, we still tried to give him a soft landing. Guess no good deed goes unpunished.

That response is interesting for a couple of reasons beyond the obvious slap in the face to Beck. First, it ought to make things a little uncomfortable for Bill O’Reilly, who is the only Fox host who still invites Beck back to the network. Is Beck still welcome? Will Bill mention that his bosses regard Beck as an ungrateful loser?

Secondly, this unidentified Fox spokesman has confirmed something that Fox has denied for years: that Beck’s racist and rancid antics cost the network advertisers and revenue. The company line at Fox was that “there has been no revenue lost.” But clearly that was not the case, as they now admit.

Beck also told Forbes that “I knew what this big, huge Fox empire brought to the table, and I had to leave before I became too enamored of that.” This reluctance to fall victim to the siren call of television has apparently subsided. Beck is now spending millions of dollars to elbow his way back into the television world he says is dying. His “Get The Blaze” campaign was launched to recruit his disciples into badgering cable systems to carry his web cast. It’s an initiative that reeks of the toxic socialism that Beck pretends to despise, because he wants all cable subscribers to fatten his wallet even if they don’t watch his show.

The campaign appears to be floundering. Beck posted a recent update that sobs “We think that the tens of thousands of emails you’ve been sending are piling up unread.” Gee, the cable TV market is uninterested in assuming the burden of a washed up Tea-vangelist who spews conspiracy theories and hate speech. It must be a plot by Obama’s czars to silence his perversion of the truth.

Stay tuned, because it’s a fairly good bet that Beck will escalate this feud with Fox by saying something typically idiotic and designed to get him press. And that’s his only real mission in life anyway.

Apr 22 2013 4 cmnts

General

Fox News Mystery: Conspiratorial Article On Boston Bombing ‘Suspect’ Disappears [Update]

Posted by: Mark @ 7:48 pm

In a peculiar and suspicious chain of events, Fox News ran an article by commentator Todd Starnes with the provocative headline “Saudi National Questioned in Boston was on Terror Watch List.” But the article was not there for long, and has since been deleted from other conservative news sites as well.

There was no evidence in the article affirming the title’s allegation other than Starnes’ assertion that “sources have told me.” Starnes went on to say that his sources alleged that “Abdul Rahman Ali Alharbi had been deemed inadmissible” for entry into the United States because he was engaged, or likely to become engaged, in terrorist activity. “Two additional sources,” Starnes said, “have confirmed to me that Ali Alharbi is set to be deported as early as this week.”

The article also notes that national security officials, including Homeland Security Secretary Janet Napolitano, have denied the reports and stated explicitly that Alharbi is not being deported, nor was anyone else with any connection to the Boston marathon bombings. All of the chatter in the right-wing media about this was definitively debunked days ago.

Despite the dismissals by Napolitano and others of these rumors, Starnes weaves a speculative tale of innuendo that he fails to back up with any substance. The missing article echoes the conspiracy theories emerging from the fringe outposts of Alex Jones’ InfoWars and Glenn Beck’s The Blaze. Beck’s recent foray into these wilds of reckless slander has been titillating his fans for several days with promises of jaw-dropping revelations that he literally described as the most important story in the history of the country. His pledge to unveil the sordid details Monday went conspicuously unfulfilled.

But here’s where the plot thickens. The delusional ravings of Jones and Beck might have been supported in some small measure by the article posted by Starnes. Mind you, Starnes did not have any better proof than they did that some untoward activity was taking place, but at least his column could have been cited as a rather useless and circular corroboration – and, in fact, Beck did just that. Which makes it all the more curious that Fox News made the column disappear. The link currently returns a “No Results Found” page. Making matters worse, Starnes also posted the article on the conservative Townhall web site, where it was also scrubbed. [Note: Both pages remain in Google's cache and can be accessed here: Fox News cache --- Townhall cache]

What can explain this odd self-censorship by two separate, unaffiliated web sites? The articles simply vanished with no comment or correction. Was there a discovery that they were so far off base that they put the publishers in jeopardy of being sued for libel? If so, simply removing them would not be an effective defense without an apology for any harm done. It would more likely serve to prove that they had an awareness of the potential for harm and sought to cover up their actions.

Another theory might be that Fox and Townhall are actually covert liberal agents who are in cahoots with Obama and the jihad movement and decided it would be better if they didn’t publicize these allegations. Plus they could sabotage Beck’s effort to reveal these harrowing truths and crush his credibility (if there were any left for crushing).

Alright, I know I shouldn’t be giving Beck any help in concocting his paranoid delusions. First of all, he’s better at it than I am. And secondly, it’s like giving a drug addict a fix. But what else might explain the behavior of Fox News, who ordinarily would leap at the opportunity to implicate Obama in some nefarious intrigue?

These missing articles create a mystery all their own, and it’s one that will likely never be solved because Fox is not forthcoming on matters related to their pseudo-journalistic endeavors. They rarely acknowledge errors in the best of circumstances, so we ought not to expect them to do so after having secretly excised a piece of dubious reporting. For all we are likely to ever know, these articles were just sucked into the black hole of Fox’s nightmare factory.

[Update 4/25/13] The articles referenced above are still missing and there have been no explanations or corrections offered. However, the “false flag” schemes they promote have been adopted by a GOP congresswoman from New Hampshire, Stella Tremblay, who said that “The Boston Marathon was a Black Ops ‘terrorist’ attack…by our own Government.”

Also, on Wednesday Beck interviewed a retired INS Special Agent on his webcast who disputed Beck’s account of the affair saying that “it doesn’t make sense.” Not surprisingly, Beck glossed over that portion of the discussion as if it hadn’t happened.

Apr 22 2013 3 cmnts

General

Glenn Beck’s “Most Important Story In History” Just Another Epic Dud

Posted by: Mark @ 2:45 pm

Last week Glenn Beck was salivating over easily debunked rumors that he was convinced were proof of a scandalous cover up by the Obama administration. He spun a tale of a Saudi man who was near the scene of the Boston marathon bombing and was, according to Beck, connected to the Tsarneav brothers. And with the slimy veneer of the great snake oil salesman he is, Beck promised his glassy-eyed listeners that if they could just hold out for the weekend he would reveal unambiguous evidence that the Saudi was a terrorist and that President Obama was personally covering up for him.

And now our patience has been rewarded with Beck’s radio broadcast this morning. Completely oblivious to the fact that the man Beck is slandering as a terrorist was found to be a student with no ties to anything unsavory, Beck is clinging to his delusional conspiracy and reiterating his allegations from last week. And despite having threatened the President with the disclosure of the shocking truth, Beck has no further proof of wrongdoing or suspicious connection than he pretended to have previously.

The entirety of Beck’s expose consisted of unsupported allegations that a Saudi man was scheduled for deportation under “section 212, 3B” (security and related grounds). However, the Department of Homeland Security has already confirmed that the person in question was not a security risk and that he was not being investigated or deported. That, of course, hasn’t stopped Beck from persisting in his ramblings and calling for Obama to be impeached. He still has not speculated as to why Obama, and his entire national security apparatus, would be protecting a terrorist. Unless, of course, they themselves are behind the Global Jihad that Beck and his minions have been warning us about.

Beck failed to offer any substance to confirm his charges, other than unsourced “reports” and conjecture. So the weekend-long cliffhanger turned out to be bust. Now, as we all know, Beck having hallucinatory episodes marked by feverish fear mongering is not particularly newsworthy. What’s really troubling about this is that there are four Republican congressmen who are now demanding answers from DHS based on what they call “media reports,” but are really just Beck’s psychotic discharges.

It is always somewhat sad when Beck displays the severe mental deterioration that has become the hallmark of his broadcast career. But it’s downright nauseating that members of congress rely on such bull excrement and cite it in official communications. The American experiment in democracy sometimes comes frighteningly close to failing when people in government act like escapees from an asylum. And it isn’t just the obvious nutcases like Michelle Bachmann anymore.

Apr 19 2013 5 cmnts

General

Glenn Beck: Our President Aided And Abetted This Guy

Posted by: Mark @ 11:41 am

Ladies and gentleman, if you’re looking for Grade-A, certified, delusional paranoia, there is no better source than Fox News alum, and current Internet vlogger, Glenn Beck. Sure, Fox News leaped to the conclusion that the suspects in the Boston marathon bombing were Al Qaeda jihadists, and Fox Nation posted its usual lie-soaked chatter, but who else did you think would win the race to implicate President Obama in the terrorist attack?

For two days now Beck has been ranting about a man described as a Saudi national who was briefly questioned while hospitalized after the Boston attack. The FBI and Police determined that he was not involved in the affair and released him. But that hasn’t softened Beck’s acute hysteria.

Along with the crackpots at Breitbart, WorldNetDaily, and Alex Jones’ Infowars, Beck is outraged that the Obama administration is shielding this person whom they are certain is a dangerous terrorist. They go on to lambaste the Department of Homeland Security for initiating deportation proceedings against him in what they insist is an attempt to help him flee justice. That might be a curious development, except for the fact that it isn’t true. The Saudi who was in the hospital is not the same man that the DHS is deporting.

Beck’s dementia has escalated today to the point where he is now demanding that Obama be impeached for having “aided and abetted this guy.”

Beck: Our president, this administration, the Department of Homeland Security, and everything else – how they have covered this up, how they have aided and abetted this guy – is obscene, it’s criminal, it is out of control. And when America knows the full story on this, if she doesn’t stand up and, quite honestly, demand impeachment and the mass firing – if not shutting down – of agencies, we don’t stand a chance.

Do you hear that America? We don’t stand a chance! It is highly unlikely that Obama will shut down all of our law enforcement agencies which, for some reason, Beck thinks is a good idea. Go ahead – send all the FBI agents searching for the marathon bomber home. Cease all investigations into potential terrorist acts currently being plotted. But make sure that anyone who wants to buy assault weapons (including terrorists) is able to walk into a gun show and leave with a deadly arsenal without a background check. That will make us all safer. It’s really very simple. Beck has explained it all in a perfectly rational and sane manner:

See? It couldn’t be more obvious. Except that Beck and his fellow lunatics never explain why Obama would want to protect someone who just blew up nearly 200 innocent bystanders. He leaves dangling the only possible explanation – that Obama himself is the terrorist mastermind and he is executing his evil plot to rule the world as the Grand Lizard of the Global Caliphate and Secular Progressive Emporium. It’s the unfolding of the Perfect Storm, Agenda 21, Common Core, Climate Changed, ObamaCare, Fundamental Transformation to Universal Gay Marriage. Be afraid, America.

Update: Beck is now threatening the administration with an expose that he will unveil Monday, April 22, if the they don’t reveal the “truth” first. It’s fair to say that Beck’s bluster is as impotent as a castrato in a coma. What’s more, if he has information that he says may be the most important story in history, why is making us wait until after the weekend to report it (other than to build up his audience of nitwits)? Stay tuned.

Apr 11 2013 2 cmnts

General

Good News For College Students: You Will Never Meet Glenn Beck’s Kids

Posted by: Mark @ 3:52 pm

With Glenn Beck trolling the outskirts of decent society (mentally and professionally), his nightmarish ravings have taken on a distinctly science-fiction hue. Not that he hasn’t always been on the verge of some paranoid breakdown with his frequent admonitions about apocalyptic “perfect storms” and impending alliances between radical Muslims and secular progressives to form a worldwide caliphate, but his regression is surely spiraling downward.

Glenn Beck Today’s sermon addressed the dangers of education, a pursuit so horrific that Beck will not permit his children to partake of it.

“I said to my wife the other night, my kids aren’t going to go to college. They’re just not going to go to college. They won’t. We can find somebody that they can intern for. They’ll have to do their own thing. I am not sending another child to college. I won’t do it. They are being indoctrinated. I am not going to give them my money. [...] I’d rather be a mechanic than in the system that is coming. And your kids are going to be in an absolute system. And I know what that means. This is a really scary thing. Just be aware that there are many ways to mark people.”

Beck has been railing about the covert forces plotting to control the minds of America’s youth for some time. Although he never mentions whether his own Glenn Beck University is part of the problem. His latest conspiracy theory was hatched by something he found in the 2009 stimulus plan that tickled the paranoia sensors in his cartoon brain. As reported by Right Wing Watch, something called “Common Core” is at the heart of the next phase of creeping tyranny.

Beck’s theory is that the 2009 stimulus legislation contained $5 billion dollars designated to be given to states in support of public education, but carried a requirement that any state accepting the money must set up a “longitudinal data system.” The data gathered by such a system, Beck insists, is being harvested by the federal government and stored in a massive facility in Utah and will be used by both the government and corporations to monitor every student from the time they enter school for the purpose of controlling their futures. From the moment a child enters school, his or her future will be determined and those with skills deemed valuable by the corporations will be guided into areas that serve the needs of the corporations while all the others “will be a cog in the machine forever.”

No wonder Beck is prohibiting his kids from attending school. As a delusional, alcoholic, drug-abusing, college dropout, he sees the modern education system is the manifestation of “The Matrix.” And this fits nicely into the conservative model of higher learning wherein acquiring too large a portion of knowledge makes you suspect and alien to the American way of life. A degree from Yale or Stanford is not nearly as useful to an aspiring leader as the charisma of someone with whom you would want to share a beer. This is something I addressed in an essay on “Elitistism” that included this observation:

“Education is a key component in this new paradigm. It is absolutely critical that you not have too much of it. And never, ever use the word paradigm. Once the American people get the impression that you know more than they do about issues like economics or foreign policy, you’re disqualified from service. Achievement and expertise only spotlight how different you are from ordinary Americans.”

The result of this hypersensitivity to learning is that conservatives will continue to be, as GOP Gov. Jindal of Louisiana said, “the Stupid Party.” They will continue to score highly on those polls that rank the most ignorant consumers of media and show Fox News viewers at the top. And they will churn out additional Republican voters who are convinced that the math in every poll is wrong and who value bible fables over science. Consequently, Beck’s advice to shun academia is consistent with advancing the interests of the Republican Party. Isn’t that convenient?

Apr 11 2013 5 cmnts

Environment, General

The Bible Proves That Climate Change Is Real, But Science Cannot Prove That Rush Limbaugh Is

Posted by: Mark @ 12:18 pm

Yesterday, Rep. Joe Barton of Texas (where else?) spoke at a hearing on the Keystone XL pipeline and revealed his divine justification for denying the science behind climate change. Barton’s source for his reasoning was the biblical story of Noah and the great flood:

Barton: “I would point out that if you’re a believer in the Bible, one would have to say the Great Flood is an example of climate change and that certainly wasn’t because mankind had overdeveloped hydrocarbon energy.”

That’s correct. There is no evidence that the flood was caused by hydrocarbon energy exploitation. However, that does not mean that it wasn’t caused by mankind in some other manner. Barton may be listening to too much of Glenn Beck.

Let’s take a look at the factual basis for the argument that Barton is propounding. The bible’s account of Noah asserts that sometime after he was 600 hundred years old he was singled out by God as the only righteous man of his generation and was instructed to build an ark that would preserve the continued existence of every species of life on the planet. So Barton’s opposition to the findings of 1,000′s of atmospheric scientific studies begins with an angry deity, a 600 year-old man, and a magical boat.

More to the point, according to the bible, God was motivated to destroy the vast majority of Earth’s lifeforms due to the prevailing “wickedness of man.” Therefore, it was indeed the behavior of humans that resulted in the climate change that occurred in Noah’s day. That would set the precedent for faithful Christians to concede that humans are responsible for climate change in the present, just as they were in the past. And it could even be the result of the same divine umbrage at our species, because it would be difficult to argue that there isn’t an abundance of wickedness here on Earth today. And for all we know, that wickedness, from God’s perspective, might be related to our defiling of the planet for which he commanded us to be “good stewards.”

In addition to Barton’s rejection of science, his ideological compatriot, Rush Limbaugh, also entered the fray in defense of his science adviser, a thirteen year old kid who called his radio program. Limbaugh proclaimed that “much of science today” is “just a branch of the Democrat Party.”

Rush: “The global warming scientists are just Democrats, folks. They all have a political preference. They’re all part of an agenda … at the end of the story they have to put in this snarky comment that basically implies this kid Alex doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Science responded by noting that Limbaugh is a yet unproven hypothesis who, if he exists, also has an agenda and a political preference. Science further states that they will put up their rigorous, peer-reviewed studies against any ill-informed opinions from children and drug-abusing talk radio hosts.

Mar 22 2013 0 cmnts

General

Is Glenn Beck Going BROKE? Filing Seeks $40 Million From Outsiders He Once Renounced

Posted by: Mark @ 12:21 pm

For several years Glenn Beck has been bragging that his enterprise was totally self-supported. He insisted that rejecting outside funding enabled him to speak freely in manner that would not be possible with outside investors and boards of directors dictating what he could do and say. Beck was very adamant about this principle and said so firmly on multiple occasions that sound eerily like televangelical appeals:

Aug 17,2011: We are running out of time. [...] I do not want outside investors. We have talked about it. We have had outside investors come to us. We have had hedge funds come to us. People want to invest in my business because we are creating jobs and creating wealth. I do not want outside investors because I do not want to have to answer to anyone else.

Nov 7, 2012: This network, this company is funded by me and by you. That’s it. [...] I thought we’d have more time and I’m telling you we’re going to run out of time. I need to double our subscriptions. [...] I am not doing this to get rich. Believe me I don’t think money’s going to be worth an awful lot very long. [...] If you haven’t subscribed, I need you to go to theblaze.com/TV and sign up now. Please. Please. Please. Right now about 300,000 people keep this network up and running, and may God richly bless your sacrifice.
Already I’ve lost quite a tidy sum, in fact figures that I never thought I would earn in my lifetime, let alone lose.

This admission that he is losing money contradicts the press releases his company issues that celebrate how richly successful he is. I can’t say whether his PR department is lying or he is himself, but either way he is deceiving his audience for personal gain. His financial woes are also evident in his recent effort to get cable companies to carry his dinky web cast. As I reported in February, this directional shift proves that his Internet business must be suffering:

“He is presently charging between five and ten dollars per month to subscribe to his programs online. If he does secure cable carriage that programming will be available for free to all of the current cable subscribers on the system. Consequently, they would no longer need to pay for the Internet access. If the Internet subscription model was working for him, Beck wouldn’t risk cannibalizing his online customers by offering them the same content for free on cable.”

All of this makes the news released today particularly significant in that it goes against much of what Beck’s image factory has been putting out. A new filing with the SEC says that Beck is seeking $40 million dollars in funding for TheBlaze, his media enterprise. That revelation would suggest that he has abandoned his belief that only by self-funding could he truly be able to express himself and expose the myriad conspiracies and plots against liberty and goodness that only he can see. This filing also suggests that Beck doesn’t have the funds to finance his glorious vision of an international media conglomerate and merchandising outlet. To say nothing of his homage to Jonestown, a residential community/theme park tucked away in some heartland hideaway.

Beck claims to have already raised $1.5 million of the $40 million goal. Along with everything else he says, that needs to be taken with a barrel of heavily salted Freedom Fries. One has to wonder who would invest in this sort of enterprise. Most savvy investors are aware that Beck was booted from Fox because he had alienated the advertising community that would be necessary to support this venture. They can also see the evidence of the financial struggles that are noted above. That leaves only committed propagandists and true believers in Beck’s nightmarish narrative of an apocalyptic future. Are there enough of them to bankroll Beck’s dementia? Well, maybe we should ask Pat Robertson and Alex Jones.

Mar 21 2013 0 cmnts

General

Roger Ailes Kept Glenn Beck On The Air To Irritate MoveOn And Media Matters

Posted by: Mark @ 2:25 pm

The new biography of Roger Ailes by his hand-picked fluffer, Zev Chafets, is getting some exposure in the press via reviews and excerpts. News Corpse recently reported that Ailes agreed to cooperate with Chafets in order to make a preemptive strike against a more critical look at his career by journalist Gabriel Sherman, whose book will be published in May. The New York Times published a scathing review that ripped Chafets for producing a book that…

“…reads like a long, soft-focus, poorly edited magazine article. For the most part Mr. Chafets serves as little more than a plastic funnel for Mr. Ailes’s observations [...] he doesn’t ask his subject many tough questions about Fox News’s incestuous relationship with the Republican Party, its role in accelerating partisanship in our increasingly polarized society or the consequences of its often tabloidy blurring of the lines between news and entertainment.”

Now the New York Observer has posted another excerpt that reveals the lengths to which Ailes will go to annoy his enemies. Chafets writes that Ailes had already decided “he would have to get rid of Glenn Beck,” but he didn’t take any actions to do so for many months. This stalling occurred even though he was aware that “An advertising boycott organized by ColorOfChange.org hurt revenues, and Beck’s ratings declined.” This reference to the Color Of Change action is the first time that Ailes has admitted that Fox lost money due to the boycott. He previously made emphatic denials that there had been any impact on revenue. The reason Ailes gave for putting off Beck’s departure, according to Chafets, was that he “didn’t want to give MoveOn and Media Matters the satisfaction.”

So there you have it. The CEO of a news network had concluded that Beck’s rhetoric was divisive and “over the top,” but he permitted him to continue broadcasting his race-baiting, Nazi-inflected, conspiracy theories for several more months because he was afraid to give his critics something they might celebrate. Ailes would rather poison the airwaves (and the minds of his viewers) with lies and hatred than to let his ideological adversaries think they had scored a victory. That’s the true nature of Fox News and its philosophy of journalism.

It goes without saying that Ailes’ ego-driven decision-making was flawed from the start. Delaying the cancellation of Beck had zero effect on how his critics would respond. Removing Beck from the air was a victory whether it occurred in January or July. The only person whose “satisfaction” was affected was Ailes himself. Chafets never recognizes this fact and the excerpt irrationally concludes with him asserting that “Ailes was right again.”

Chafets further sucks up by saying that, as a result of his maneuvering, “Ailes could plausibly say that he had moved Fox safely away from the fringe.” Where he gets that notion from is a mystery. Particularly in light of Fox’s acquisitions since the election that include Mark Levin, Herman Cain, Scott Brown, and Erick Erickson (who once called a Supreme Court Justice a “goat-fucking child molester”). They join fringe all-stars Sean Hannity, Eric Bolling, and Steve Doocy, among others. This is not what most people would describe as plausibly moving away from the fringe, but it is the Fox way.

Feb 27 2013 3 cmnts

General

Glenn Beck Wants To Make YOU Pay For His Conspiracy Broadcast Network

Posted by: Mark @ 9:54 am

“They can take my job and they can take my wealth but that’s okay… I will use American ingenuity and my ingenuity to pull myself up, and I will find another way to get my message out on a platform that will be a thousand times more powerful!”

Those are the words Glenn Beck used to console himself when he came under attack while still hosting his old program on Fox News. As a consequence of calling the President a racist (and numerous other delusional ravings), Beck saw his advertisers and audience fleeing in droves. Yet he was adamant that if he were to lose the soapbox given to him by Fox he would rise on the third day and ascend to ever greater glory.

After nearly two years in the hinterlands of the InterTubes, Beck has changed his mind about television and the imaginary “thousand times more powerful” platform he espoused. He is now begging to be readmitted to the television tabernacle. He realizes that his public profile has receded, effectively making him a non-entity on the political landscape. To be sure, he’s making plenty of money by charging his flock to watch his sermons, but that isn’t enough for someone with Beck’s pathological egocentrism.

Beck has launched a campaign to recruit his disciples into a lobbying force aimed at pressuring cable providers to add his webcast to their channel lineup. But if cable operators were to succumb to this effort it would be an unprecedented breach of trust that would force every cable customer to subsidize Beck’s right-wing conspiracy mongering. Depending on the terms of the agreement, content providers providers are generally paid a per-subscriber fee by the cable operator for the rights to their programming. That fee is due whether or not anyone watches the channel. Therefore, if your cable company carries Beck’s webcast, they pay him royalties derived from your cable bill even if you never watch him.

In his appeal to his followers Beck makes the weak argument that extracting such involuntary financial support is comparable to what is currently being done with MSNBC. However, no matter what one thinks of MSNBC’s leanings, they are a bona fide news enterprise and there are massive differences between that and Beck’s Acute Paranoia Revue and Holy Huckster Sideshow. Despite Beck’s assertion that “Adding TheBlaze will ensure that you and your family have a source of news and analysis that you can trust and that doesn’t betray your values,” the obvious truth is that his programming will only contribute to the garbage heap of fear peddling that permeates rightist media. And this statement in his own promotional piece exposes the dishonesty of his intentions:

“If we succeed then we change the media. If we change the media, we control the debate. If we control the debate, we change politics. And if we change politics, we change the country.”

That is not the sort of mission statement issued by a credible news organization. Beck is forthrightly declaring his intention to proselytize his Tea-vangelism, and that makes his “channel” an inappropriate selection for a cable operator who would pass on the costs to unwilling subscribers. We should not be forced to make up for his business failures.

Amongst Beck’s defenders there will be those who will deny that Beck is having any problem generating revenue with his webcast. But here’s financial breakdown: He is presently charging between five and ten dollars per month to subscribe to his programs online. If he does secure cable carriage that programming will be available for free to all of the current cable subscribers on the system. Consequently, they would no longer need to pay for the Internet access. If the Internet subscription model was working for him, Beck wouldn’t risk cannibalizing his online customers by offering them the same content for free on cable. But he doesn’t care about his web audience because he knows that with cable penetration comparable to what MSNBC has, Beck could triple his earnings.

The bottom line for Beck is that he is upset because no one is paying any attention to him. So he wants to wedge himself back into the TV community and make you pay the bill. This would be a good time to say “NO!” And you may as well use his own web site to do so. Beck has thoughtfully compiled a directory of the Facebook pages for the cable providers he is soliciting. There is no reason why you couldn’t use those same links to let them know that if they add Beck to their lineup you will cancel the service, because you don’t want to line the pockets of someone who is so brazenly dishonest, divisive, and hateful. We successfully exiled Beck to his current island in the Internet ocean once before. Let’s not allow him to sneak back in at our expense.

Feb 25 2013 13 cmnts

General

Gun Nuttiness Royale: Refusing To Sell Guns To Police In Pro-Safety States

Posted by: Mark @ 3:23 am

So exactly how deep is the vein of idiocy that runs through the NRA gun worship crowd? Just have a look at this item from Glenn Beck’s TheBlaze (and associated wingnut media): 44 Gun Companies Have Stopped Selling To Law Enforcement In Anti-2nd-Amendment States.

This is the sort of thing you expect from lie factories like Fox Nation. But the evil genius in this meticulously plotted protest is not readily apparent at first glance. However, if you let it sink in for a minute it becomes hilariously inept. In fact, it’s rather astonishing how they could get so much wrong in one short headline. Let us count the ways:

1) No states are anti-2nd Amendment.
The gunnies are trying to portray any state that dares to seek solutions to rampant gun violence of the sort that took the lives of 20 children in Newtown, Connecticut, as contrary to the right to keep and bear arms as stipulated in the Constitution. However, reasonable regulations and background checks have been upheld as constitutional by the Supreme Court and are supported by majorities of the American public, and even by majorities of NRA members.

2) There’s no evidence that any of the listed vendors were ever state suppliers.
The article on TheBlaze lists 44 munitions vendors who are taking an oath to refuse to sell their products to law enforcement agencies. But in no cases have they provided any evidence that they are presently engaged in such sales. And in at least some cases it seems pretty unlikely. I’m not sure that Old Grouch’s Military Surplus or Controlled Chaos Arms are sacrificing much in the way of revenue from police department clients. None of the major arms manufacturers like Smith & Wesson, Sig Sauer, or Glock are participating in the boycott.

3) Other vendors will happily take up the slack.
These eager activists don’t seem to grasp the concept of boycotts. Generally they are carried out by refusing to buy certain products, thus hurting the targeted vendors by using their financial clout to affect policy changes. Instead, the gunnies are refusing to sell their own products to willing buyers, thus hurting only themselves. It’s a little like demanding that the bank teller hand over all the money and threatening to shoot yourself if they don’t.

4) If effective, the boycott would endanger the lives of citizens.
Setting aside the fact that this protest is pitifully ill-conceived, let’s imagine how it would unfold if it had any chance of succeeding. The apparent goal is to pressure states not to implement gun safety initiatives by, in effect, disarming the officers who are there to protect the people. That seems like a reckless course of action and one that the public would disapprove of in droves. Gun advocates may enjoy fondling their weapons and pretending to be superheroes, but most citizens are not anxious to confront desperate criminals on their own. Grandma is not likely to hear the call on the police scanner, start up the Rambler, and head down to the mall to foil a gang of jewelry store thieves.

5) The law enforcement agencies don’t make the laws.
Perhaps the most tunnel-blind facet of this folly is that the dimwitted gun vendors are aiming their protest at the police, despite the fact that they are only responsible for enforcing laws, not drafting them. So the gunnies are taking a stand to refuse to provide service revolvers to local police because of something that was done by governing legislatures and executives.

Like so many harebrained schemes by far-right extremists, this protest action is not very well thought out. It harms first responders who are innocent parties in this debate; it puts citizens at risk; it blows up in their own faces financially; and it makes no strategic sense whatsoever. Yet it is being heralded by the wingnut press including Breitbart News, and Fox Nation. And in addition to the article on TheBlaze, Glenn Beck addressed the subject on his webcast escalating it into pure conspiracy theory delusion. He warned that the gun dealers…

“…are not going to provide anything to a state where those weapons are going to be used against the citizens to possibly take guns and gun rights away.”

So Beck is afraid that states are plotting shooting rampages by police against residents in pursuit of their firearms and, therefore, the police must be disarmed. This is another demonstration of conservatives leaning so far out to the right that they fall overboard and make asses of themselves. And as if to underscore their dementia, note the ad on TheBlaze about “FEMA Coffins.” Those should come in handy after the cops have killed everybody.

Feb 24 2013 1 cmnts

General, Humor, Wankery

Let’s Get Ready To CRUMBLE: Glenn Beck Ducks WWE Challenge

Posted by: Mark @ 9:41 am

Glenn Beck and professional wrestling. Who could have imagined a collision between these two disparate media phenomenons?

After all, one of them is perhaps the most notorious entertainment spectacle of the last fifty years and involves a highly choreographed production of television broadcasts that purport to be genuine, but are in fact as phony as Bigfoot’s Snake Oil Elixir. Nevertheless, it hooked a surprisingly large audience of gullible viewers starved for over-the-top melodrama and sweaty, wild-eyed brawls.

And the other one is professional wrestling.

Indeed, Glenn Beck’s Acute Paranoia Revue and Holy Huckster Sideshow seems like the perfect match up with pro wrestling. They are both so divinely cartoonish and dripping with cheap theatrics that it’s a wonder someone hadn’t thought of it sooner. But Sadly, it’s not to be.

After the WWE debuted a couple of characters modeled after Tea Party wackos, Beck bounded into the proverbial ring to slam the sham Teabaggers and the horse they rode in on. That horse, by the way, was the property of two-time Teapublican senate loser, and WWE’s owner, Linda McMahon. Clearly this is not an organization run by Obama functionaries or progressive rabble.

Dimwitted wrestler Jack Swagger and his hillbilly manager Zeb Colter were a pretty accurate representation of the rednecks who mindlessly spew patriotic jargon and blame all their failures on minorities. But Beck wasn’t having it. He declared that he was sick and tired of being miscast and wasn’t about to allow these twits to besmirch the image of his precious Tea Party. With classic WWE bravado Beck taunted his nemeses saying…

“I can take it from a lot of people. I really can. I can’t take it from the stupid wrestling people.”

You can almost imagine him center-ring, yelling that into a microphone hanging from the ceiling. This is the Beck who has called himself a rodeo clown and just last month said that he considers what he does to be “like circus performer art.” Having thrown down the gauntlet, the ball was now in the court of the wrestling duo. So Swagger and Colter struck back inviting Beck to appear on their show and defend the honor (such as it is) of “We the Teaple.” In a video challenge they said…

“You know, Glenn, many of your followers are WWE fans and they understand the difference between reality and entertainment. Are you so out of touch with your own audience, Glenn, or are you just a ‘stupid’ political commentator.”

They were obviously giving Beck’s fans more credit than they deserved with regard to their alleged understanding of reality. But they were also giving Beck a sterling opportunity to address the millions of WWE viewers (10 times more than any audience Beck ever had), and explain why Swagger’s character offended him. But rather than meet his opponents in the ring, Beck pulled the covers up over his head and tweeted that he is “currently booked doing anything else.”

It’s inevitable that big-mouths like Beck reveal themselves to be cowards. But this exceeds all boundaries of wimposity. Beck is trembling before fictional foes. It would be one thing if Beck was afraid to debate Rachel Maddow or Bill Maher, experienced communicators who have obvious intelligence and wit. But to shrink from facing off with a fake adversary on a scripted television farce demonstrates just how paper thin Beck’s veneer of bombast really is.

Feb 05 2013 0 cmnts

General, Wankery

Glenn Beck Calls Obama The Worst Thing He Can Think Of: ‘A Girl’

Posted by: Mark @ 12:04 pm

Cover the children’s eyes and carefully consider whether you want to read further because what follows is not for sensitive readers. Glenn Beck, that macho icon manliness, has been driven to distraction by President Obama’s exhibition of icky feminine traits. Something Beck himself would never do.

During the Superbowl interview of the President, Scott Pelley asked him if he would allow his hypothetical sons to play football in light of recent news about the dangers from concussions which can lead to severe mental illness, dementia and death. Obama thoughtfully responded that he “would have to think about it.”

Apparently Beck would not need to think about it at all. He would gleefully encourage his sons to participate in an activity that has been known to cause serious injuries. Why would he need to give any thought to that? In fact, Beck was so offended by the President’s response that he played it on his little Internet blog and, the whole time Obama spoke, Beck kept repeating “He’s a girl…He’s a girl…”

One thing we can ascertain without doubt from observing his behavior is that Beck is a boy – an immature, ignorant, petulant, emotionally stunted, bitter, little boy, who thinks he can “revoke” Obama’s “man card.”

What’s worse is that Beck, in his haste to repudiate Obama’s thoughtfulness, has revealed his innate disrespect for women. In searching for the appropriate insult with which to bash the President, Beck can only come up with one that he repeats in a manic display of childishness: “You’re a girl. You’re a full-fledged woman.” Beck fervently believes that calling Obama a girl is the most damning epithet he can hurl. What could be worse, in his cartoon brain, than being compared to a young woman?

This isn’t the first time Beck has exposed his overt misogyny in this manner. When Jimmy Fallon’s TV house band, The Roots, played Fishbone’s “Lyin Ass Bitch” as Michelle Bachmann was introduced, Beck demanded that Fallon fire the band, but that he wouldn’t because he is – you guessed it – a girl.

You see, in Beck’s mind, only real men are capable of making difficult personnel decisions. Likewise, only real men understand that worrying about the welfare of your children is the mark of a sissy. And pretty much anything that stirs Beck’s ire is sufficient cause to castigate someone with aspersions to womanliness – the most horrible state of being that Beck can imagine. So horrible that I’m sure the very thought of it makes him cry.

Jan 24 2013 3 cmnts

General, Wankery

Glenn Beck’s Conspiracy Theory About Conspiracy Theories

Posted by: Mark @ 2:40 am

Sometimes the dementia of right-wing fabulists is a richer vein of comedy than a Marx Brothers marathon. And speaking of Marx (Karl), his press agent, Glenn Beck, is contributing more than his fair share of unintentional hilarity to a nation thirsty for humor.

On his silly and mostly ignored webcast, Beck set out to warn his flock of the dangers of getting sucked into conspiracy theories. He expressed his deep concern that people understand that the real reason these tall tales are disseminated is to distract unsuspecting citizens from the evils being perpetrated by the government. You know…evils like the conspiracy theories Beck espouses.

Beck is America’s preeminent source for conspiracy theories. He just published a book titled “Agenda 21″ that is based on a nightmare fable of the United Nations subjugating the world to slavery on the pretense of building sustainable communities. He produced a three day Fox News spectacular revealing that George Soros is also plotting to rule the world. He’s certain that the art and architecture of Manhattan conceals communist propaganda. And who can forget his sermons on the Islamic cabal, in league with Western European socialists, to restore the ancient Caliphate and, of course, rule the world.

Now the master of conspiracy madness is revealing a deep cover plot too scandalous to believe (video below). Beck has discovered that the whole birther mess was actually devised and implemented by a scheming White House in an attempt to divert attention away from a dastardly blueprint to bankrupt America and deliver its carcass to her enemies.

Beck: “The only time you ever heard about [Obama's birth certificate] was from the lunatic fringe – and I mean a very, very, small group of people that were talking about it – but the White House was the one that was constantly bringing it up and stirring the pot.”

That’s right. It was a very small group of people consisting mainly of Fox News anchors and pundits, right-wing activists and Tea Partiers, and the lunatic fringe more commonly known as the Republican Party. The mini-faction included unknown, media-shy characters like Mitt Romney surrogate, Donald Trump. This tiny, almost imperceptible, collective of outliers had little influence on public opinion unless you count the polls that show nearly half of “staunch conservatives” saying that they think Obama was not born in the U.S.

Now that Beck has exposed the truth that conspiracy theories are really covert diversions, the only unanswered question is whether the conspiracy theories Beck spins are themselves distractions from the government’s clandestine plots. How can we know that Beck is not a part of the plot to draw attention away from far more fiendish exploits contrived by federal super-villains? If conspiracy theories are government plots, and no one is more adept at constructing them than Beck, well ….. connect the dots.

Jan 17 2013 3 cmnts

General

Life After Congress: Dennis Kucinich And Allen West Take Different Paths

Posted by: Mark @ 2:59 am

The election last November returned President Obama and most of congress to the jobs they already had. However, a few notable exceptions resulted in changes to the Washington roster. This year we know what happened to a couple of the losers.

Dennis Kucinich was something of an enigma. He held fairly reliable liberal positions on issues related to the economy and the environment. He was also ~~staunchly pro-life~~ [Correction: Kucinich changed his position on abortion in 2002]. One of the more annoying traits he displayed was his eagerness to appear on Fox News where he would be abused by right-wing anchors and panelists and waste everyone’s time by expressing opinions that Fox viewers would never give serious consideration.

Now that he lost his seat in a primary that pitted him against a fellow Democrat due to redistricting, he is making the trek to Fox more permanent. It was announced today that Kucinich has signed on to be a regular contributor on the network that only hires Democrats as either targets to humiliate or puppets to manipulate into attacking their former colleagues.

Allen West was not enigmatic in the least. He was a flaming right-wing lunatic who believed that the Democratic caucus was teeming with commies and threw Nazi references around as if they were compliments. He was so certifiably nuts that even Fox wouldn’t touch him. So he signed up with the also-rans at Pajamas Media where he will be hosting a Glenn Beck style webcast. And viewers will have to shell out for the pleasure of watching West spew hyperbole and bile at his perceived enemies of liberty.

Both of these ex-legislators have made career choices that will lead them to ignominy. Kucinich will enjoy a bit of notoriety on his Fox perch for a while, but will lose respect due to his craven self-promotion and sycophancy to his new masters. For a preview of where he is headed he can look to other Fox News Democrats like Kirsten Powers, Pat Caddell, or Dick Morris. It’s not exactly a bright future.

In West’s case he will simply fade from the scene and be forgotten as befits a one-term representative who failed to distinguished himself as anything other than a psychotic, mouth-foaming crackpot. His model for the future is Glenn Beck who also has a subscription webcast. But West doesn’t have nearly the following or media savvy of Beck. Even so, Beck’s star has fallen precipitously since he was booted off of television. He is now relegated to a distant studio in Texas from which he sends out his alarmist communiques. Just yesterday Beck declared that civil war is imminent and displayed a loony flow chart that made little sense.

Beck never satisfactorily explained how this path would traverse from “Compromise” to the “President Complains” to a “Tragic Event” to “Blame” to an “Executive Order” to both “Violent Rebellion” and “Peace.” But that’s the beauty of insanity – no one expects it to make any sense. And in that respect West is a natural for this medium. His followers will surely find him and everyone else will forget that he ever existed.

Jan 15 2013 6 cmnts

General

Lust For Strife: ‘The Citadel’ And Glenn Beck’s ‘Independence’ Are Betting On Catastrophe

Posted by: Mark @ 10:29 am

The geniuses who form the brain trust of the far right are trampling all over each other as they scamper for high ground to avoid the Commie Tsunami they imagine is bearing down on them. The fear is palpable as these whimpering Apocalyptoids rush to save themselves from what they are certain is a world-ending crush of progressive tyranny being orchestrated by the evil forces of self-government known as democracy.

Since the extreme righteous-wing was unable to thwart American voters last November, returning Satan’s Lieutenant Obama to the formerly White House, they are now intent on demonstrating their patriotism by advocating acts of treason and aspiring to secession.

That is the theme embodied in the quixotic blueprints being drawn up for utopian conclaves by folks like Glenn Beck and the architects of The Citadel. These would-be nation-states peddle phony promises of security and liberty to rubes who are convinced that those principles are so fragile under our current Marxist, Muslim, Kenyan president that they are certain to disappear by lunchtime. And the panic produced thereby is a market opportunity for Armageddon profiteers.

Glenn Beck’s version of this Exodus is a city/theme park that he calls Independence, USA. That also happens to be the name of the city that his Mormon faith teaches will be the place that Jesus will choose when he returns to usher in the end of time. Beck doesn’t have any plans for how he will raise the $2 billion he says the project will cost, but it will almost certainly come from the hides of his sheep. As I wrote last week…

“The development includes all the necessities that a demented doomsday prepper could desire. There would be farming land where residents could till the soil and produce their own food. There would be a mall with shops populated by craftsmen who would also teach the young’uns how to make their own rocking chairs and crossbows. He also plans a media center where he would produce entertainment “that would challenge viewers without resorting to a loss of human decency.” It is in that area that he would train new journalists in his techniques of lying and fear mongering. There would be a research facility for…God knows what. Recognizing the need for diversions from all of this ecstasy, Beck plans to include a theme park. And of course, centrally located, would be a church for his parishioners to worship.”

Now it appears that Beck has competition. Another contestant in the Doomsday Bonanza Sweepstakes is a project called the Citadel. Its backers are a mysterious cabal centered around what appears to be an arms manufacturer located in somebody’s garage. Some reports cite the founder as Christian Hyman (aka Sam Kerodin), a convicted extortionist who, in 2004 was sentenced to 30 months in federal prison for setting himself up as a security consultant in order to “shake down shopping malls by publicizing that they were especially vulnerable to terrorist attacks unless they paid him not to do so.”

The Citadel’s terms for residency are a maze of contradictions. They boast that there is “No credit check. No background check. Zero down payment. Zero interest. Zero property taxes,” but you still have to pass an application review and sign their “Citadel Patriot Agreement.” The agreement is described as “a voluntary set of conditions to which every single Patriot who accepts a residence in the Citadel must agree, in writing.” But it’s not really voluntary if you are required to agree. The Citadel claims it “will be built as a fortified bastion of Liberty.” However, The terms “fortified” and “liberty” sort of contradict one another. Plus, to the Citadelians, liberty also means being forced to own a rifle, a handgun and an AR-15 assault weapon, and be trained in their use (you have to pass a test). How convenient that a community founded by a gun dealer requires its residents to purchase guns.

This bastion of liberty also has some pretty severe exclusionary policies. First and foremost is their open antagonism to “Marxists, Socialists, Liberals and Establishment Republicans,” whom they discourage from applying on their home page by warning that they “will likely find that life in our community is incompatible with their existing ideology and preferred lifestyles.” What’s more, anyone who is, or becomes disable such that they cannot pass the firearms test will not meet their standards and will be denied or expelled. Blind patriots, or even those with severe arthritis, would be unable to pass the marksmanship tests. Also, felons and others not legally permitted to possess firearms would be unable to comply with the requirement to own such weapons. (Wouldn’t that include the founder who is a convicted extortionist?)

The one angle these hucksters appear to have missed is the tax exemptions they would have if they registered these properties as churches. While The Citadel does not seem to be overtly religious, Beck has long cast himself as a televangelist with tearful entreaties to his Lord and sermons on society’s abandonment of Him. Beck famously declared that he has seen “the finger of God” and frequently regales his flock with assertions that God has anointed his path. However, Beck never explains why God later permits him to discard those previously divine projects. Beck’s God may have a touch of ADHD. Consequently, no one will be surprised if none of these projects ever come to fruition.

Not to be left out, Fox News has jumped into the fray with not one, but two promotions for The Citadel. Their Fox Nation web site featured the project in separate postings of the very same article from CNSNews, which is owned by the uber-rightist Media Research Center.

Notice that the Fox Nationalists present these stories in an overtly partisan manner. One headline touts the operation as “Patriotic” despite its inherent separatist and exclusionary policies and the criminal background of its founder. The other headline brags about the “Live and Let Live” lifestyle – unless you are a liberal. The cognitive disconnect required to put both of those concepts into that single headline and image is almost painful.

The natural affinity between Fox and these Last Chance boondoggles is readily apparent. They both devote much of their energy and resources to spreading horror stories about a worldwide collapse of civilization. They both profit from the irrational fear that such stories generate. They both employ propagandists whose job it is to incite terror and suspicion amongst the paranoid yokels who are their target audience/consumer. And they both market a brand of Armageddon that is uniquely designed to enrich their leaders.

It is astonishing, and somewhat depressing, that there are so many misfits who are susceptible to this con game. But if Jim Jones could get nearly a thousand disciples to follow him to the jungles of Guyana (and take their own lives), the far better financed and media savvy successors to his model of salvation have the potential to cause much greater damage. The only prospect for apocalypse is the one being shaped by these false prophets. Let’s hope the flock will pull the wool away from their eyes in time to avoid something tragic.

Jan 12 2013 11 cmnts

General

Is Glenn Beck’s Independence, USA The Next Jonestown?

Posted by: Mark @ 2:35 pm

On his webcast this week, Glenn Beck unveiled yet another publicity stunt intended to buy him some attention, at least from his congregation of disciples. This time it comes in the form of his “vision” of a utopian community where rich and poor will live together in harmony while shopping and farming and riding holy-roller coasters to Valhalla.

This new society of egalitarian pilgrims would amass in Beck’s planned city of Independence, USA. He admits that there is no such place mapped out as yet and that the whole concept exists only in his imagination which is, to say the least, fertile. The development includes all the necessities that a demented doomsday prepper could desire. There would be farming land where residents could till the soil and produce their own food. There would be a mall with shops populated by craftsmen who would also teach the young’uns how to make their own rocking chairs and crossbows. He also plans a media center where he would produce entertainment “that would challenge viewers without resorting to a loss of human decency.” It is in that area that he would train new journalists in his techniques of lying and fear mongering. There would a research facility for…God knows what. Recognizing the need for diversions from all of this ecstasy, Beck plans to include a theme park. And of course, centrally located, would be a church for his parishioners to worship.

Perhaps most notable is Beck’s provisions for living space. He says that he will build “a residential area where people of different incomes could all come together and be neighbors.” Sounds a little socialist to me. But so does much of his concept that relies on all the people contributing to one another and to the greater good of the community.

What’s troubling is the notion that Beck wants to create a segregated community of followers who believe in his vision and will strike out on their own to build a self-reliant, communal society based on his twisted brand of evangelism and with him as its leader. Sound familiar? It is precisely what Jim Jones, a pastor from California, did when he assembled his flock in Guyana to form what he called Jonestown. That ended in tragedy with more than 900 disciples succumbing to poison-laced Kool-Aid.

Already Beck’s flock is getting excited about his new city proposal. They are leaving comments on his web site declaring their loyalty and wondering when they can move to the imaginary Independence. It’s sad to see that there are people who regard independence as fealty to a hate-filled, fear mongering, tele-prophet, who is only interested in his own fame and considerable fortune. Hopefully people will see through this charlatan before it’s too late, because it is difficult to see any good coming from this.