Humor

The Media Still Doesn’t Get the Danger that We – and They – Are In, But the Daily Show Does

Posted by on November 7, 2024 at 12:29 pm. 4 Comments :

One of the recurring themes of the Kamala Harris campaign that was highlighted in nearly every speech she gave was the insistence that “We are not going back.” And even though it appears on the surface that we are indeed regressing to a grim past, she was right. Losing the election does not mean that we have lost the will to advance the principles of democracy and freedom.

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Donald Trump TV Set

It seems impossible to imagine that voters, given the choice between a respected prosecutor and public servant, or a convicted felon, adjudicated rapist and wannabe dictator, would choose the latter. But that’s what happened on Tuesday night. There are as many plausible explanations for that major malfunction of democracy as there are pundits proposing them. And in the days ahead they will all be examined. But for now the nation must answer a couple of deceptively…

…SIMPLE QUESTIONS: What Is America? Who Votes For This?

In the meantime, we remain burdened with an aspiring authoritarian-elect and a media establishment that doesn’t realize the risks they face, which led to the abhorrent state we find ourselves in today. And for anyone who doesn’t grasp the direness of this situation, note that Donald Trump, in his victory speech Tuesday night, went out of his way to make his hostility to the free press clear, saying that “I told JD [Vance] to go into the enemy camp. He just goes: OK. Which one? CNN? MSNBC?”

Throughout the 2024 election season, Trump expressed his deep animosity toward the media, including his official Ministry of Propaganda, Fox News. But for some reason, the media rarely defended itself and the unique provisions in the First Amendment of the Constitution that protects it.

However, there was a guardian of the free press that was found in an unlikely – although increasingly common – place. And it proves the not-very-old adage “I get my comedy from Fox News and my news from Comedy Central.” The Daily Show’s Desi Lydic delivered a monolog that, in addition to being hilarious, was more honest, and more profound, than most of what was seen on the mainstream media. She said in part that..

“Yeah, it’s official. America has elected its first criminal president before electing its first female president. What a day for proud felonists.”

And…

“Just think about what happened here. America voted this guy out in 2020. And what has he done since then? He tried to overthrow the government, he was convicted of 34 felonies, he spent an entire campaign promising vengeance against his enemies.”

And…

“Seems the only people you can’t blame for Trump’s victory are Black women and people in comas.”

And finally…

“Honestly, I don’t really care why she lost, I care why he won. We have spent so much time diagnosing Donald Trump and what his actions say about him. He’s a dictator, he’s a fascist, he’s a malignant narcissist whose blood type is fryer oil.

“But it’s pretty clear that America is the one that needs the diagnosis, because whatever’s wrong with him, we f**king love it. In this moment Donald Trump is holding up a mirror to the American people and it might be time to take a good f**king hard look. And I’m sorry. I told myself that this show would be uplifting tonight and give people hope and inspiration, but unfortunately, I’m too depressed. And quite frankly, very, very, hungover.”

Exactly! There will be scads of speculation about what Harris, or Democrats, or even a lazy, weak, greedy, complicit, press might have done wrong. But ultimately it was the voters who chose to pull the lever for the ignorant, profane, mentally infirm, lying, criminal, who caused hundreds of thousands of avoidable pandemic deaths, incited a treasonous insurrection, and whose closest associates labeled him a fascist and noted his praise for Hitler.

To be sure, those voters were influenced by the media that failed in its obligation to inform the public. And that failure was evident in the desertion by viewers that indicates just how dissatisfied they are with the quality of the news they are getting. Considering the feeble response by the media to existential dangers posed by Trump and his MAGA movement, it’s no wonder that American is tuning out.

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Maybe Kamala Harris Should Declare Victory Early to Preempt and Mock Trump

Posted by on November 4, 2024 at 12:32 pm. 1 Comments :

It’s Election Eve and the nation is understandably on edge as voters make a decision between Vice-President Kamala Harris, a uniquely qualified and compassionate leader who cherishes democracy, and Donald Trump, a convicted felon, adjudicated rapist, and business failure/fraudster, with authoritarian aspirations.

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Kamala Harris, Donald Trump baby

The candidates are spending the last full day of the campaign visiting the swing states that will have the greatest impact on the outcome of the election. And they are making their closing arguments, highlighting the issues that they regard as the most important to voters. To Harris that means the economy, healthcare and reproductive rights, and the preservation of our constitutional republic. To Trump it means fear mongering, exacerbating division and hate, and advancing his mission to undermine American democracy.

SEE THIS: HOLY CR&P! Fox News Defends Trump Wishing that He Had ‘the Kind of Generals that Hitler Had’

With the race so close – at least according to polls that have proven to be flawed – most political pundits are loathe to make any predictions as to who will emerge victorious. But one thing that everybody seems comfortable predicting is that Trump will declare victory on Tuesday night no matter what the early results show. It’s his way of priming the pump so that he can allege that the election was “rigged and stolen” in the event that he loses. Which he seems to be expecting…

Given the likelihood that Trump will try to crown himself King of America before all the votes are counted, the Harris campaign should be prepared in advance to let the air out of his clownish stunts. That could be done after the fact by simply refuting his self-congratulatory lies, but why wait just to go on defense? Perhaps a better method would be to preempt Trump’s hubris on early Tuesday night.

By getting out in front of Trump, Harris could achieve two goals: First, she would make it clear that Trump is a pathological liar with delusions of grandeur who couldn’t care less about the will of the people. And Secondly, she could humiliate him with well-deserved mockery for even trying to pull off such a blisteringly stupid and egomaniacal maneuver.

The Harris “acceptance” speech could feature celebrations of the forty-gazillion votes she received. She could thank her supporters from the great state of Wiscmichylvania. And she could show her appreciation for those who helped her to rise to this occasion. Most notably Rudy Giuliani, for sacrificing his reputation and legal career by faithfully kissing Trump’s…let’s say ring; RFK, Jr, for elevating crackpottery to new levels of absurdity; and MAGA Mike Johnson, for promising to enact Trump’s Project 2025 if returned to power. She couldn’t have done it without them.

But don’t forget about Donald Trump himself. His commitment to destroying his own prospects was unparalleled. After all, he didn’t have to talk about Haitians eating cats and dogs during the debate with Harris. He didn’t have to promise to protect women, “whether they like it or not.” He didn’t need to assure the country that he would tack another $8 trillion dollars onto his previous debt burdens by swearing to give the wealthy more tax cuts and imposing tariffs on the rest of the world.

Trump also didn’t have to brag about ending Roe v Wade and the constitutional rights that women had for the last fifty years. He didn’t have to suck up to America’s tyrannical enemies such as Vladimir Putin, Xi Jinping, and Kim Jong Un, all of whom he admires and seeks to emulate. He didn’t need to threaten the free press with revocation of licenses (that they don’t actually have) just because they tell the truth about him.

Such a speech would be a watershed moment for the Harris campaign, and for American politics. And after her brilliant appearance on Saturday Night Live, we know she can handle comedy. Plus, it would have the added benefit of annoying all of Trump’s MAGA minions who think there is something untoward – or even evil – about laughing.

SEE ALSO: Crybaby Trump: I Hate it When People Laugh at Me, and When Kamala Harris Laughs at All

So let’s have a bit of fun at the expense of Trump and the MAGA clan who we know are going to push their imaginary election results, perhaps even while people are still voting. In fact, why wait until tonight? Let’s celebrate Kamala winning right now (and hope it doesn’t come back to bite us in that arse). She has has a better than even shot at victory. Especially considering that Trump is actually demotivating his cult disciples from voting at all.

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Kamala Harris Presents: The Creature from the Orange Lagoon

Posted by on October 31, 2024 at 1:06 pm. 1 Comments :

The arrival of Halloween this year precedes another day that may bear some measure of horror for America and the world. Next Tuesday marks the end of the 2024 election season. And with the polls indicating a historically close finish, the nation awaits the frightful possibility of another four years of Donald Trump steering the country toward doom.

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Donald Trump, Fox News, Halloween

The fear that is produced by Trump and his MAGA movement is wholly justified considering the harm that he did the last time he occupied the White House. More than a million Americans died due to his gross mismanagement of a deadly pandemic. And the economic catastrophe that ensued, the loss of jobs, the racial division, the reversal of constitutional rights, the ridicule from international allies, and so many more monstrous consequences of the Trump years, make it understandable why he is too scared to face any scrutiny.

SEE THIS: Scaredy Trump Cowers Behind Sean Hannity – Still Too Afraid of Non-MAGA Media and Kamala Harris

As a warning about the wretchedness that would result in the wake of a Trump victory, Kamala Harris released a video that should scare the bejeebus out of rational, patriotic Americans: “The Creature from the Orange Lagoon.”

Holy Smokes! That’s petrifying. And voters need to heed this warning and do everything possible to prevent the plague of Trumpism from taking hold.

For his part, Trump is lashing out at Harris in the the most typically Trumpian manner. He posted a comment to his failing Twitter ripoff, Truth Social that raged…

“Just watched Kamala’s Fake News Conference – ALL LIES! She is desperate but, more importantly, she looks totally EXHAUSTED! She should rest now, and leave the Campaigning to me!”

That tirade was another festival of psychotic projection by Trump. He is notorious for his pathological lying, his persistent and whiny desperation, and his physical feebleness. So he’s accusing Harris of suffering from the maladies that afflict him. In a previous posting, Trump was more elaborate, saying that…

“Lyin’ Kamala is giving a News Conference now, saying that I want to end the Affordable Care Act. I never mentioned doing that, never even thought about such a thing. She also said I want to end Social Security. Likewise, never mentioned it, or thought of it. She is the one that wants to end Social Security and, she will do it, by putting the millions of Migrants coming into our Country into it. Kamala is a LIAR! Everything that comes out of her mouth is a LIE. It’s MADE UP FICTION, and she’s doing it because she’s losing, and losing BIG!”

For the record, Trump and the Republican Congress tried dozens of times to repeal the Affordable Care Act (aka Obamacare). And MAGA Mike Johnson recently said that he is still planning to try again. When Sen. John McCain famously gave a thumbs down on one of those attempts. Trump went ballistic on him. And in December of 2023, he promised to get rid of Obamacare and replace it with his own plan that he never actually produced, despite repeatedly claiming that it would be revealed in “two weeks.”

“Obamacare is too expensive, and otherwise, not good healthcare. I will come up with a much better, and less expensive, alternative! People will be happy, not sad!”

As for Social Security, Trump’s budget contained cuts to the beloved program every year that he was in office. And a recent analysis of his plans should he be reelected were decidedly gloomy. According to the Committee for a Responsible Federal Budget…

“[E]very one of Trump’s favorite ideas in this campaign would accelerate Social Security’s time to insolvency and increase the resulting cuts to benefits.”

Just the thought of Trump returning to any position of power is terrifying. His blueprint for his neo-fascist regime, Project 2025, is ghastly. And his aspirations of authoritarianism are spine-chilling. But these are not Halloween pranks. They are the manifestation of a Trump nightmare administration that even his closest associates fear. Which makes it all the more imperative that we spend the next few days making certain that he will never again step his bone-spurred feet into the White House.

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Tim Walz Schools Jon Stewart on Why Liz and Dick Cheney Supporting Kamala Harris is Important

Posted by on October 22, 2024 at 2:20 pm. 6 Comments :

There is an old saying about how “politics makes for strange bedfellows.” But despite this adage being older than Donald Trump’s bone spurs, many people are still surprised by unusual alliances among politicians with divergent views.

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Jon Stewart, Donald Trump

This is particularly evident in the newly congenial relationship between Vice-President Kamala Harris and former congresswoman Liz Cheney. The Cheney family has long been associated with with the farthest right wing of the Republican Party. And Harris is the presidential nominee of the Democratic Party that ultra conservatives regard as socialist. Never mind that that characterization is absurd in the extreme. It is one that Trump and the MAGA GOP have attached themselves to in desperation.

SEE THIS: Trump’s Anti-American ‘Enemies From Within’ Comment was ‘Speaking From the Heart’ per JD Vance

On Monday night, Harris’ running mate, Gov. Tim Walz, was interviewed by Jon Stewart on “The Daily Show.” And Stewart asked Walz to comment on why Harris has been celebrating the endorsements from Liz Cheney (who has more to say about this here) and her father Dick. It is an entertaining and informational exchange…

Stewart: The Cheney thing… Do we really have to do that?
Walz: Look, It goes broader than that. Bernie Sanders, Dick Cheney, Taylor Swift. Having the Cheneys on board…
Stewart: No, no, no. You can’t Dick Cheney or Taylor Swift. No!
Walz: We’re a big tent.
Stewart: What country did Taylor Swift get us to invade?
Walz: Don’t you think though that – and I do this, I believe this – There is still a core group of folks out there, your point being the Reagan piece of this; the Libertarian piece; the constitutional piece – There are a lot of people out there. I think Liz Cheney and Dick Cheney give permission to those folks who want to find a reason to do the right thing, It doesn’t mean they agree with us. We’re not going to take their foreign policy decisions and discussions and implement those.
Stewart: Promise?
Walz: Yes, promise.

Stewart was right to wonder how Harris and Walz can unite with icons of the American uber-right. But Walz answered the question brilliantly. This isn’t about a unity of ideologies. It’s about patriots who put their country over their party. It’s about Americans who revere the principles laid out in the Constitution. It’s about opposing the blatant authoritarianism and hateful divisiveness that is the foundation of Trumpism.

Having the courage and integrity to stand together to reject the anti-American, racist, power mad, ambitions of Trump is a sign of honor and strength. After all, Trump is a convicted felon, and adjudicated rapist, and serial adulterer, and financial fraudster, and pathological liar, and shameless ignoramous, and malignant narcissist. Opposing all of that is the only possible position for rational people to take.

It does not mean that they necessarily agree on specific issues. It just means that they agree that the long term preservation of the country is more important than partisanship. And if Republicans like the Cheneys can stand with Harris, then so can millions of other Republicans and Independents who see Trump for the repulsive, vulgar, mentally infirm, con man that he is. They will not be alone.

There are good reasons why almost none of Trump’s Cabinet officials support him now. His White House Chief of Staff (Gen. Kelly), his Secretary of State (Tillerson), his Defense Secretary (Esper), his Attorney General (Sessions), his Director of National Security (Bolton), his personal attorney (Cohen), and so many more of the people who know him best say that he must not be returned to any position of power. His Chairman of the Joint Chiefs, Gen. Mark Milley, said that he is “the most dangerous man in America,” and “fascist to the core.” And no GOP president or vice-president, or candidates for those offices (except Sarah Palin), support him.

Walz gave an outstanding impression of himself and the Harris campaign that he represents. Unlike Trump and Vance, Walz was smart, funny, likeable, informative, and not the least bit weird. Trump is too scared, and/or exhausted, to appear on programs like “The Daily Show.” He has been limiting himself exclusively to MAGA-friendly venues. And even those appearances have been mostly marked by his embarrassing and incoherent rambling.

MORE HERE: Scaredy Trump Has Retreated to the Safety of His Fox News Bunker While Canceling Other Media

With only two weeks left until Election Day, the noxious harangues from Trump and his surrogates is only going to get worse. But don’t let that discourage you. Make sure that you vote, and get everyone you know to vote as well. Early and mail-in voting is already available in many states. In the meantime, here is Monday night’s monolog from Jon Stewart for inspiration…

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Trump Unleashes a Nasty and Painfully Unfunny Monolog at Traditionally Humorous Al Smith Dinner

Posted by on October 18, 2024 at 11:04 am. 6 Comments :

The annual “Al Smith Dinner” benefiting the Catholic Charities of New York was held Thursday night. It’s an event that traditionally features Democratic and Republican leaders delivering humorous speeches and roasting their friends in politics and the press.

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Donald Trump Messiah

This year Kamala Harris, who just starting running for president a couple of months ago, was too busy campaigning to attend. So she sent a hysterical video with the help of Saturday Night Live alum, Molly Shannon in her character as the Catholic school girl, Mary Katherine Gallagher (video below). That left the stage to well-known funny man, Donald Trump, whose presence at an event sponsored by a Catholic church organization was somewhat awkward, considering his disparagement of Catholics who fail to worship him. He recently decreed that Jews, oil companies, seniors, African Americans, Hispanics, and yes, Catholics, who support Kamala Harris “should have their heads examined.”

SEE THIS: ATTN: Trump Says Pretty Much Everyone Who Supports Kamala Harris Must Have Their Heads Examined

Nevertheless, Trump, who is also a convicted felon and adjudicated rapist, was treated as an honored guest by this churchly congregation. And for an interminably long time he rambled in his hallmark incoherent style, reading badly from a script that he later revealed was partially written by his pals at Fox News. You have to wonder who at Fox News he leaned on for comedy. Greg Gutfeld? Jesse Watters? No matter, Trump insulted the writers and their jokes, saying that “For the most part, I didn’t like any of them.”

[Update: Fox News released a statement insisting that no one from the network helped Trump write his jokes. So Fox News is saying that Trump lied on a Fox News program about Fox News helping him]

Trump’s remarks were blatantly political, making this ordinarily non-partisan affair just another campaign stop for him. He began his humorless harangue by complaining that he wasn’t allowed to use a TelePrompTer. Then he launched into a tediously lengthy condemnation of Harris for not being there in person, saying that “It’s a rule. You’ve got to go to the dinner. You’ve got to do it…But my opponent feels like she does not have to be here, which is deeply disrespectful.”

Trump elaborated saying that Harris was instead hunting with her running mate, Tim Walz; that she would have showed up if they had “told her the funds were going to bail out the looters and rioters in Minneapolis;” that he regretted her absence “because we can’t get enough of hearing her beautiful laugh,” that he also called “crazy;” that she was “in Michigan receiving communion from Gretchen Whitmer,” which for some reason “was not a pretty sight;” and he admonished the audience saying “Catholics, you got to vote for me [because] I’m here. And she’s not.” Trump also threw a slam at the current President saying that “If Democrats really wanted to have someone not be with us this evening, they would have just sent Joe Biden.”

Wow! Trump must have them rolling in the aisles with that hysterical material. But he was just getting started. He went on to deliver these laugh riot lines…

“Right now we have someone in the White House who can barely talk, barely put together two coherent sentences, who seems to have mental faculties of a child. […] It’s sad. There’s a person that has nothing going, no intelligence whatsoever, but enough about Kamala Harris.”

“Look on the bright side, Chuck [Schumer], considering how woke your party has become. If Kamala loses, you still have a chance to become the first woman president.”

“The only piece of advice I would have for [Harris] in the event that she wins would be not to let her husband Doug anywhere near the nannies.”

“I used to think the Democrats were crazy for saying that men have periods. But then I met Tim Walz.”

“I’m surprised that Bill de Blasio was actually able to make it tonight, to be honest. He was a terrible mayor. I don’t give a shit if this is comedy or not.”

That last line was notable for Trump’s use of a profanity from the podium at a devoutly Catholic event. But it’s no worse than what Trump has said a thousand times that disparages religion and people of faith, including his proclamation that he is “The Chosen One” [and] “the Second Coming of Christ”

Kamala Harris’ video for the Al Smith Dinner:

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Jimmy Kimmel and Tim Walz Make it Abundantly Clear Who the Weird Ones Are in This Election

Posted by on October 8, 2024 at 1:05 pm. 1 Comments :

When Kamala Harris chose Gov. Tim Walz to be her running mate, she was impressed with his record as a progressive leader who made great strides in his state, and whose experience as a legislator, a veteran, a teacher, and a football coach, appealed to a broad swath of middle America.

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Fox News, Kamala Harris, Tim Walz

In addition to those assets, Walz had a way of speaking that average folks could relate to. For example, his off the cuff observation that Donald Trump and JD Vance were “weird” connected so authentically with millions of people that it instantly became the most vivid descriptor of the MAGA party’s presidential ticket. It was such a apt epigram that Fox News and the GOP had to invent a contrary, albeit lame and baseless, comeback…

SEE THIS: WTF? Fox News and GOP Clown Comer Launch a Gross Attack on Tim Walz and His ‘Scary Family’

On Monday night Walz was a guest on “Jimmy Kimmel Live” where he had another opportunity to display his homespun relatability. During the course of the conversation, Kimmel played a montage of Trump responding on several occasions to the charge that he and Vance are weird. Clearly he was disturbed by it. But it was impossible to see his responses as anything but…well, weird. Which Walz himself noticed and had the perfect reaction…

“If you have to tell people numerous times you’re not weird, you might be weird.”

Indeed. In just the same way that Trump has to repeatedly tell people that he isn’t racist, or stupid, or greedy, or sexually abusive, or afraid, or lying, he finds it necessary to try to convince people that he isn’t weird. That’s a hard case to make when the evidence of all of the above is so abundant.

Later in the interview, Kimmel gave Walz an opportunity to address the weirdness issue in a more serious way…

Kimmel: Why do you think the ‘weird’ label stuck to Republicans?
Walz: I was talking about the behaviors of being obsessed with people’s personal lives in their bedrooms and their reproductive rights. Making up stories about folks legally here eating cats and dogs. They’re dehumanizing. They go beyond weird. Let’s debate policy.

Walz barely scraped the surface of Trump’s weirdness. He left out Trump’s obsession with Hannibal Lecter, his fear of batteries and sharks, his belief that windmills cause cancer, his suggestion to nuke hurricanes, his bleach injection cure for COVID, his insistence that he won in 2020 and is ahead by far in all the polls now (he’s definitely not), his narcissistic delusion that he is everyone’s favorite president, and so much more.

When considered in its entirety, “weird” seems hardly sufficient to describe what Trump is.

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Stephen Colbert Triggers Another Totally Tacky Trump Tantrum on Truthless Anti-Social

Posted by on September 25, 2024 at 1:28 pm. 2 Comments :

With a mere six weeks until Election Day, Vice-President Kamala Harris is crisscrossing the country and engaging voters on critical subjects, such as the economy, immigration, and healthcare. Meanwhile, Donald Trump is laser focused on the issues that he believes matter most to the American people, such as who is eating the cats, creepy protectorship of depressed women, and the “stolen” election of 2020.

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In this political environment it is often healthy to take a breather for some comic relief. Which is made all the more possible by the vast amounts of material provided by Trump and his MAGA clown show. Unfortunately for Trump, he doesn’t have the ability to process humor the way other human beings do. In fact, he finds it offensive.

SEE THIS: Crybaby Trump: I Hate it When People Laugh at Me, and When Kamala Harris Laughs at All

So it will surprise no one to learn that Trump spent a sleepless Tuesday night composing a screed lambasting Stephen Colbert who appeared on PBS NewsHour to promote his new cookbook with his wife, Evie, “Does This Taste Funny?“ During the nine minute interview, Colbert mentioned Trump once in passing when the interviewer specifically asked him about Trump…

Amna Nawaz: Do you have red lines, like people you won’t talk to. Like, would you have former President Trump on the show?
Colbert: I have had him before, and he was kind of boring. So, no. […] I don’t like to have people on the show who I don’t think are going to be honest agents of their own ideas.

That was it. But that was enough to set Trump off on an extended rant that he posted on his floundering Truth Social scam. It consisted entirely of his predictable and tiresome insults and pitifully ignorant observations. He raged that…

“I briefly watched an interview of Stephen Colbert on highly government subsidized PBS, and found it fascinating for only one reason — Why would they be wasting time and the public’s money on this complete and total loser? He is not funny, which he gets paid far too much to be, he is not wise, he is VERY BORING.”

In that opening, Trump touched on several subjects that he ought to be an expert on: what is a “waste of money,” things that are “not funny,” and how to be “VERY BORING.” But, as usual, he has no self awareness whatsoever as he projects his own personality defects onto Colbert. Then he continued saying that…

“And his show is dying from a complete lack of viewers —Gutfeld, on cable, is killing him! CBS should terminate his contract and pick almost anyone, right off the street, who would do better, and for FAR LESS MONEY.”

Actually, Colbert’s show can hardly be described as “dying.” In fact, it is the top rated late night talk show. And it is not being killed by Greg Gutfeld, whose show is not a late night program, except on the east coast. Everywhere else in the country he is on in prime time. If Trump knew anything about how ratings work, he would know that you can’t compare programs in different time periods. HUT levels (Homes Using Television) are much higher prime time. But Trump still wasn’t through…

“Or I could recommend someone, much more talented, and smarter, who would do it for FREE! The good news for Stephen is that the two DOPES on NBC & ABC are not much better than him!”

Yeah, right. Trump surely knows people who would host a network television program for free. And it would be someone with the talent and skill to do it successfully. Does anyone believe that? He couldn’t even do it himself. His “Apprentice” languished near the bottom of the ratings in its final years.

As for Colbert’s competition (who are all close friends), Trump’s reviews are less than worthless. It’s a good thing he didn’t see Jimmy Kimmel’s monologue Tuesday night. It featured a blistering smackdown of Trump’s still smoldering anger over a joke Kimmel told at the Oscars six months ago.

So Kimmel invited his wife, Molly, to respond. She had some advice for Trump, suggesting that he, “Shut up and go away. Go to Mar-a-Lago. Spend all day cheating at golf and masturbating to Newsmax. And let a competent woman take over.” That would surely crack him up. Literally! If he isn’t already cracked beyond repair.

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The Daily Show Hysterically Highlights the Hatred of Trump by Those Who Know Him Best

Posted by on July 19, 2024 at 1:25 pm. 1 Comments :

The 2024 Republican National Convention has officially wrapped with the certification of convicted felon Donald Trump as the Party’s presidential nominee. And few observers will dispute that it was everything that it promised top be: A festival of angry, racist, cult followers devoted to an aspiring authoritarian and make-believe messiah.

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Donald Trump

Trump’s closing speech was notable for its interminable 90 minute length (the longest ever), it’s abundance of lies, its overt bigotry, and it’s extraordinary sedative effect. Convention delegates were seen nodding off or leaving early as the speech extended until past midnight without offering a single policy proposal or any solutions to real problems that the American people care about. And home viewers, the ones who stayed up, were similarly unimpressed…

SEE THIS: Trump’s MAGA RNC Convention Suffers Sharp Ratings Decline From Prior Years and Biden Speech

Instead, Trump spent an hour and half tearing down the country, denigrating the institutions that provide benefits to its citizens, and exalting himself with delusional portrayals of his term in office that is best remembered for COVID mortality, tax cuts for the rich, job losses, and hate speech.

Jordan Klepper of the The Daily Show was among those who noticed just how awful this convention was. He focused part of his monologue on the roster of speakers for the affair. But even more significant, were the people who were prominent in the Trump administration who didn’t bother to show up. And not because they were otherwise engaged. Klepper noted that…

“The campaign for president is basically one big job interview. The convention is where America checks the candidate’s references. And to be sure, there were plenty of people willing to vouch for Donald Trump. He’s got ex-cons, domestic abusers, fake wrestlers, fake friends, his children, people sleeping with his children, and of course, the esteemed mayor of Whoville.

“But if this is a job interview, it’s worth noting who we didn’t see: Most of the people that actually worked with him at the White House. And if American is gonna do our due diligence, we might as well call our references to hear what they have to say about him.”

Whereupon, Klepper played a montage of some of the top appointees in the Trump administration who are repulsed by him and regard him as a danger to democracy. For instance…

  • Mike Pence: Anyone who puts themselves over the Constitution should never be president.
  • Mark Esper (Secretary of Defense): I think he’s unfit for office.
  • John Bolton (National Security Adviser): Richard Nixon looks like a choir boy next to Donald Trump.
  • Ty Cobb (Trump attorney): The greatest threat to democracy that we’ve ever seen.
  • Mick Mulvaney (Chief of Staff): He failed at being the president when we needed him to be that.
  • Gen. Mark Milley (Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff): A wannabe dictator.
  • Bill Barr (Attorney General): He shouldn’t be anywhere near the Oval Office.
  • Gen. John Kelly (Chief of Staff): A person with nothing but contempt for for our democratic institutions, our Constitution, and the rule of law.
  • Gen. Jim Mattis (Secretary of Defense): The president has the understanding of a 5th or 6th grader.
  • Rex Tillerson (Secretary of State): He’s an F’ing moron!

These are not the criticisms of partisan Democrats. They are warnings from the people that Trump had chosen to staff his White House and Cabinet. They know him well and worked closely with him during the tumultuous times of Trump’s troubled tenure. And they are adamant that he not be returned to any position of authority.

Yet somehow, his glassy-eyed cult disciples remain transfixed. They are unmoved (or perhaps aroused) by his two impeachments, his 34 felony convictions, his 54 still pending felony charges, his judgement for nearly half a billion dollars for financial fraud, or his adjudication as a rapist. They aren’t worried about his explicit promise to be a “dictator on day one,” or his “Project 2025” handbook for fascism. Because, after all, his opponent, President Biden, is three years older than he is.

Equally as concerning as the list of people who despise Trump, are those who Trump admires. Along with the convention speakers (i.e. Tucker Carlson, Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Ted Cruz, Peter Navarro, etc.), Trump bragged about having the support of Kim Jong Un and the Taliban during his speech. And with friends like that, who needs enemas?

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Trump Finally Wakes Up Long Enough to Deny that He’s Been Sleeping During His Criminal Trial

Posted by on May 2, 2024 at 2:00 pm. NO Comments :

One of the most extraordinary occurrences in legal proceedings has played out several times during Donald Trump’s trial for election interference for paying “hush money” to buy porn star Stormy Daniels’ silence. Trump has been observed falling asleep at the hearings that could determine his fate as potentially the first former president becoming a felon.

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Throughout the proceedings Trump has held impromptu press avails outside of the court to whine about his being persecuted by President Biden (he’s not); the charges being all hoaxes (they’re not); the judge and the prosecutor being corrupt and/or biased (they aren’t); and even the unbearable cold of the courtroom (it isn’t). However, inside the court Trump has been something less than attentive.

SEE THIS: UNFIT TO SERVE: Trump and Fox News Whine that Sitting Up Straight All Day is Draining Trump’s Brain

Numerous reports have revealed that Trump has been falling asleep during the trial. They expressly note that he isn’t just resting his eyes, but that his head droops and he is noticeably shaken when roused. There are even reports that his attorneys have employed a variety of tactics to keep him awake.

Needless to say, these reports have surely infuriated the image-obsessed former reality TV game show host. However he has refrained from speaking out publicly about them. Until now. On Thursday morning Trump addressed this matter precisely how one might have expected him to do so. On his floundering social media scam, Truth Social, Trump wrote that…

“Contrary to the FAKE NEWS MEDIA, I don’t fall asleep during the Crooked D.A.’s Witch Hunt, especially not today. I simply close my beautiful blue eyes, sometimes, listen intensely, and take it ALL in!!!”

Predictably, Trump blames the entire controversy on the “FAKE NEWS MEDIA,” despite the fact that even his MAGA media supporters have acknowledged his nodding off and portrayed it is evidence of his greatness. Seth Myers captured some of this cultish veneration in his “Closer Look” segment…

Notice also that Trump can’t simply lie about his humiliating slumbering. He additionally needs to flatter himself with compliments about his shuttered eyes. And considering the obviously unnatural hues of his skin and hair, who knows what color his eyes really are.

Finally, the notion that Trump can “listen intently” to anything that isn’t exalting him is impossible to take seriously. In his courtside analyses he never references anything that actually happened in the trial. He merely repeats his tedious rants about “witch hunts” and “sham justice.” And that he can do without having to go to the trouble of staying awake and paying attention. Then, fully rested, Trump can jet back to his Mar-a-Lago bunker, or to another cult rally where his speeches are so repetitious that he can virtually sleep through them too.

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Trump Desperately Clings to Fox News Legal Hacks Who Ignore the Law to Fluff Trump

Posted by on April 19, 2024 at 1:10 pm. 1 Comments :

There is now a predictable ritual that occurs every time that Donald Trump makes an appearance in court. Immediately following the hearing Trump ambles out to a nearby rabble of reporters gathered to record his post-trial rants (and the press really needs to stop doing that). With the jury now selected we can expect to see these staged sniveling sessions on a near daily basis for the next few weeks.

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Never mind that there is never anything newsworthy to report from these disgorgements of grievances. It’s just Trump repeating the same complaints he does whenever a camera is pointed at him. He’s either crying about being a helpless victim or falsely accusing everyone from the judge to the prosecutors to the witnesses to the jury, of being biased against him in what he insists is a “rigged” trial that he should never have had to endure.

SEE THIS: Trump Says All Presidents Must Have ‘Total Immunity’ from Crimes – Except for President Biden

On Thursday Trump brought some props to his circus act. He awkwardly rifled through a stack of printouts someone provided for him of articles from sycophantic right-wing media. He was presenting them as “proof” that the charges against him were unfounded. But they were pretty weak evidence. He read off a few of his sources, and they were all Fox News legal analysts…

“Jonathan Turley. Gregg Jarrett. Andrew McCarthy. Every one of them saying, they call it a zombie case, meaning it is no case. And they say it’s unconstitutional. They don’t think the case is…These are all stories that have taken place over the last few days.”

Well then, that settles it. Dismiss the case and let Trump return to the comfort of his Mar-a-Lago bunker. He later claimed that these article represented all of the opinions about his case, saying that “I haven’t seen one that says it’s a good trial.”

Apparently Trump has a very narrow field of vision. He obviously hasn’t seen the opinions of respected legal experts like Lawrence Tribe, Andrew Weissmann, Joyce Vance, Neal Katyal, Michael Luttig, Barbara McQuade, Glenn Kirschner, Jill Wine-Banks, and even his own former attorney, Ty Cobb. All of whom regard the case against Trump as strong and likely to lead to a conviction.

As affirmation that what Trump is doing is a joke, his courtside spectacle was addressed by Jimmy Kimmel in his monologue Thursday night, who noted that…

“The MAGA media, they’re doing everything they can to push this idea that this won’t be a fair trial. That way, when he loses, they can say the jury was rigged.”

Then Kimmel played a series of clips of people on Fox News and Newsmax insisting that Trump can’t a get fair trial because Manhattan is chock full of Trump haters. Which is interesting, because Trump is also saying this….

It’s also interesting that these Trump-fluffers in the wingnut press are baselessly alleging that liberals are lying to get on the jury, but they never mention the possibility of Trump cultists doing so. Even though some MAGA crackpots are explicitly encouraging it.

Clearly the only threat to a fair trial is being posed by Trump and his MAGA minions. Along with those who are trying to taint the jury, there people like Sean Hannity and Jesse Watters who are trying to intimidate prospective jurors by revealing identifying information about them on the air.

Hopefully their tactics won’t work, and the trial will proceed to a fair conclusion. And hopefully, in the interim, the media will refrain from airing Trump’s sideshow antics during the intermissions.

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