Humor

Fox News Says They Will ‘Build Back Better’ After Their Christmas Tree Fire – No, REALLY!

Posted by on December 8, 2021 at 1:11 pm. 1 Comments :

Tuesday night America, and everything that it stands for, was viciously attacked in an unspeakably despicable act of violence. At least that’s what Fox News wants you to believe. And it’s far more than random vandalism. This time “It’s personal to you. It’s personal to us.”

Fox News, Christmas Tree Fire

The latest “Crime of the Century” according to the “Curvy Couch” potatoes of Fox and Friends was the torching of the Christmas tree installed in front of their Manhattan office building. ABC News reports that…

“A large Christmas tree outside Fox’s Midtown headquarters was set ablaze early Wednesday by an arsonist who was quickly taken into custody. […] Police say the 49-year-old suspect climbed up ‘the metal superstructure’ — the tree is an artificial sculpture that is shaped to look like a tree — lit papers he brought with him on fire, and shoved the papers into the tree structure.”

Let’s just set aside the metaphorical relevancy of the Fox News Christmas tree being a “fake.” This act of arson has much greater symbolic meaning to the Fox News crew. This burning Xmas bush has stirred more fury among these martinets of virtue than Donald Trump’s attempted coup, the January 6th insurrection, or the COVID death toll. Co-host Ainsley Earhardt expressed her outrage saying that…

“This is an American icon. This is our Christmas tree. Someone setting fire to it. What is happening to our country? It is so terrifying as a mother and someone who loves this country and loves the red, white, and blue. What is happening.”

That’s right. The artificial “metal superstructure” adorning the plaza in front of Fox’s headquarters is the embodiment of everything that is American. And it’s reduction to ashes is roasting her chestnuts. Because…

“It’s a tree that unites us. It brings us together. It’s about the Christmas spirit. It is about the holiday season. It’s about Jesus. It’s about Hanukkah. It is about everything that we stand for as a country: Freedom and being able to worship the way that you want to worship. It makes me so mad. […] I hope we build it back bigger and better.”

Wait up. Now Earhardt is signing on to President Biden’s “Build Back Better” plan, but only with regard to a corporate promotional tree? And since when is a Christmas tree “about Hanukkah”? That one is going to need some explaining. But Earhardt is yearning for explanations as she ponders “What is happening to our country?” Apparently this criminal mischief is representative of more alarming adversities in America than just fiery religious symbols. Like maybe gay Legos, or the alleged Santa shortage.

During the segment, co-host Steve Doocy asked “Who set the Christmas tree on fire?” Never mind that the NYPD had already arrested a suspect who appears to be a mentally challenged homeless man. If Doocy is still looking for a guilty party, he need look no further than Fox’s messiah, Donald Trump, who is reported to have said that he intends to “wreck Fox News.” Trump has been bashing Fox for months because they haven’t been sufficiently behind his “Big Lie” that the 2020 presidential the election was “rigged” and “stolen” from him. And another suspect could be the MyPillow guy, Mike Lindell, who recently staged a rather pathetic protest in front of Fox’s office. (UPDATE: Fox News still can’t quit their fixation on this tree arson catastrophe)

Nowhere is the animosity toward Fox News more fierce than among the Trump Cult, who still believe that Fox called the Arizona election results for Biden prematurely. So any of Trump’s dimwitted disciples could be considered suspects. And rest assured that Newsmax or OAN will get Rudy Giuliani on the case any day now. In the meantime, enjoy this amusing holiday carol that really hits the right note:

NOTE: Twitter suspended the News Corpse account after 11 years without giving a reason. So if anyone wants to tweet articles from my website, please feel free to do so often and repeatedly. Also, Be sure to visit and follow News Corpse on Instagram. And you can follow this surrogate Twitter account here. Thanks for your support.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Fox News Escalates the War on Christmas with Report on Biden’s ‘Nationwide Santa Shortage’

Posted by on December 1, 2021 at 12:53 pm. 1 Comments :

“The most wonderful time of the year…” is upon us again: The War on Christmas! This annual observance of asininity by right-wing armies of derp celebrates the imaginary assault on the winter holiday that purports revere the Christian Prince of Peace. So Fox News considers it appropriate to wage a contrived war on unsuspecting holiday revelers.

Fox News, Christmas, Coronavirus

The latest front in this battle of twits took place during Wednesday’s episode of Fox’s American Newsroom. Co-host Bill Hemmer introduced the segment saying that “Thanks to a growing shortage of Santas, HireSanta [dot com] reports a 10% decrease in Santas this year versus a 121% increase in demand. Hemmer speculated, therefore, that “Even Santa doesn’t want to work in this economy.” And of course, this is all President Biden’s fault, as was pointed out in the tweet of this breaking news by the Republican National Committee:

There’s a lot that Fox News left out of this shocking and exclusive exposé. For instance, what role did the global supply chain disruption play in the unavailability of Santas in America? And what is Biden doing to address it? Are there Santas backlogged on cargo ships in clogged port facilities?

What’s more, is Biden responsible for a decline in Christmas spirit due to this seasonally inconvenient Santa shortage? Or, conversely, does the higher demand for Santas this year mean that the spirit of Christmas is stronger during Biden’s term than during that of Donald Trump?

Fox News also failed to investigate the possible reasons for this unsettling Santa deficit. Could it have something to do with the COVID pandemic? After all, the coronavirus disproportionately impacts the demographic from which Santas are recruited: older people and those who are overweight.

There may be many of those potential Santas who succumbed to COVID in the past couple of years. The survivors may be hesitant to place themselves in jeopardy. Particularly with all of the unvaccinated children who would be sitting on their laps and possibly coughing and sneezing in close proximity.

Contrary to the framing of Fox News, the scarcity of Santas is most likely due to Fox News itself for disseminating blatant disinformation about the pandemic. And Trump and his administration’s aversion to mitigation measures, such as vaccines, masks, and social distancing is equally responsibly for the dearth of Santas. Had the public health experts been heeded, this pandemic might have ended long ago and Santas would be plentiful. Instead, Santa’s Village may be somewhat desolate this year, unless younger Santas with pillows take up the slack.

NOTE: Twitter suspended the News Corpse account after 11 years without giving a reason. So if anyone wants to tweet articles from my website, please feel free to do so often and repeatedly. Also, Be sure to visit and follow News Corpse on Instagram. Thanks for your support.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Laura Ingraham’s Hysterical Dumbassery Shows Why Fox News Can’t Ever Be Taken Seriously

Posted by on November 16, 2021 at 12:46 pm. 7 Comments :

If there is one thing that Fox News has always failed at miserably, it’s comedy. Well, intentional comedy. They have actually been a fairly reliable source of unintentional laughs. That’s pretty easy with such mockable figures as Tucker Carlson (admitting that he doesn’t know WTF he’s talking about), or “Judge” Jeanine Pirro (competing with SNL for humor), or Peter Doocy (routinely humiliating himself).

Laura Ingraham, Fox News, Goofy

Now Laura Ingraham has elevated herself to the top of the spit(take) pile with a segment wherein she demonstrated how cognitively vacuous she is. Ingraham was hosting her frequent sidekick/guest, Raymond Arroyo, who is the “news” anchor of the Eternal Word Television Network. So right away you can expect a laugh riot. The subject was COVID vaccine mandates and Arroyo sought to make a point using a popular television program when hilarity ensued. Here is both the transcript and the video, but you’ve got to watch the video:

Arroyo: “I was watching an episode of “You” where measles came up.”
Ingraham: Wait, when did I mention measles?
Arroyo: I don’t know. It was on “You.”
Ingraham: What was on me? What are you talking about?
Arroyo: The measles and the vaccine episode was on “You.”
Ingraham: We never did a measles and the vaccine episode. Is this a joke?
Arroyo: I know. It was on “You.”
Ingraham: I’ve never had measles. What are you talking about?
Arroyo: It was an episode of a show.
Ingraham: What’s it called?
Arroyo: “You.” “‘You.” It’s called “You.”
Ingraham: I’ve never had measles. I just completely give up.
Arroyo: It’s a show called “You” on Netflix.
Ingraham: There’s a show called Laura Ingraham on Netflix?
Arroyo: Never mind. I’m moving on.

Is this Ingraham and Arroyo’s version of “Who’s on First”? Abbott and Costello must be rolling over in their graves – in hysterics.

While this video is comedy gold, it is also a reminder that Fox News should never be taken seriously. After all, if Ingraham is incapable of grasping the simple notion of a television show called “You,” how can she possibly be trusted to give a worthwhile analysis of epidemiology, or critical race theory, or economics, or foreign affairs, or climate change, or anything else?

Truth be told, Ingraham’s capacity to understand in this clip isn’t any worse than her understanding of any other subject she’s discussed on her show. And the same is true of Carlson, Sean Hannity, and the “Curvy Couch” potatoes of Fox and Friends. They all have the intellectual depth of Fox’s designated clown, Greg Gutfeld, and he isn’t exactly a candidate for Mensa membership.

Fortunately for Fox, their viewers are even lower on the scale of comprehension. That explains why they vote for Trump and Republicans like wannabe comedian Ted Cruz. It also explains why they are dying from COVID in far higher numbers than Democrats. So while there is humor in all of of this, there is also tragedy. What Fox News is doing to America isn’t really funny at all.

NOTE: Twitter suspended the News Corpse account after 11 years without giving a reason. So if anyone wants to tweet articles from my website, please feel free to do so often and repeatedly. Also, Be sure to visit and follow News Corpse on Instagram. Thanks for your support.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Ted Cruz is Humiliated in Hysterical Twitter Feud with Cheney, Kinzinger, and Swalwell

Posted by on November 14, 2021 at 6:06 pm. 5 Comments :

The Republican Circus has more than it’s share of clowns. With people like Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, and Louis Gohmert, the laughs keep flowing like an avalanche. But despite the tough competition, Cancun Ted Cruz has managed to maintain his status among the most mockable GOP Bozos.

Ted Cruz, Cancun

On Sunday Cruz was busy watching CNN where Jake Tapper was leading a discussion about wayward Republican Liz Cheney and her prospects politically in the future. The question asked by Tapper was “Is there a lane for Liz Cheney in New Hampshire in 2024?”

It was during that segment that inspiration struck Cruz and he was compelled to express his comedic genius in a tweet answering Tapper’s question. “Yes,” Cruz quipped, “It’s called the Democratic primary.”

Have you stopped laughing yet? Cruz’s heckling is supposed to be funny because Cheney has had the courage to criticize Donald Trump and hold him accountable for his criminal behavior. That’s the sort of fortitude that has escaped Cruz for the pat five years. Cruz has been a devoted Trump-fluffer even after Trump insulted his wife as ugly and accused his father of assassinating JFK. And apparently Cruz is unfamiliar with Cheney’s 96% conservative congressional voting record, according to the ultra-conservative Heritage Foundation. So, yeah, she’d be right at home in the Democratic Party.

However, that isn’t where the entertainment ends. Cruz then engaged in a Twitter war with Cheney, GOP Rep. Adam Kinzinger, and Democratic Rep. Eric Swalwell. It began with Cheney responding to Cruz’s tweet (which you can follow back from here):

Cheney: I know you’re posturing for the secessionist vote, Ted. But my party, the Republican party, saved the Union. You swore an oath to the Constitution. Act like it.
Kinzinger: Damn son, Liz brought the heat on you!
Cruz: These two need to hurry up and get their bottom-rated @msnbc show.
Kinzinger: Senator, you’ve been given a huge position to lead and tell people truth. Yet you have squandered it on lies and abused the patriotism of those who trusted you. I will have zero regrets… will you?
Swalwell: Adam, if you want @tedcruz’s support you’re going to have to attack his wife.

Indeed, Cruz did suggest the possibility of Texas seceding from the U.S. (which it cannot legally do) if Democrats continued to rack up legislative successes that actually improved the lives of the American people. As opposed to the carping by Republican sore losers who have nothing to offer but bitterness and threats of violence.

However, Swalwell takes the Gold for Shade Throwing with his sly observation on how best to get Cruz’s support. And it seems to have silenced Cruz, at least temporarily. But don’t get excited. He will surely recover and be back to form with more of his guffaw inducing witticism. Until then you can substitute the feeling you get from the humor he provides by chewing on broken glass.

NOTE: Twitter suspended the News Corpse account after 11 years without giving a reason. So if anyone wants to tweet articles from my website, please feel free to do so often and repeatedly. Also, Be sure to visit and follow News Corpse on Instagram. Thanks for your support.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

OMFG! A Trump Supporter and a Reporter Put Their Hysterical Stupidity on Full Display

Posted by on October 25, 2021 at 2:58 pm. 1 Comments :

There is often a fine line between between comedy and tragedy. It’s a line that the record of Donald Trump’s public life frequently crosses. For instance, while there is certainly nothing funny about Trump’s negligent and incompetent mismanagement of the COVID pandemic that has resulted in nearly 800,000 American deaths, you can’t help but laugh at his preposterous proposals to treat the virus with bleach injections.

Donald Trump Crazy

Trump’s Olympic-grade idiocy has, unfortunately, become a daily affair, even after his eviction from the White House. And it is buttressed by the cult disciples who cling to him like a maniacal messiah. An example of this humiliating behavior that Trump inspires from his flock was delivered Monday morning in a Twitter post by Newsmax White House correspondent, Emerald Robinson. Her tweet asked…

“Does Mitch McConnell still think Trump is ‘morally responsible’ for the Jan. 6th fake-insurrection created by the FBI?”

Obviously Robinson hasn’t been paying attention to how obediently McConnell has been upholding Trump’s “Big Lie.” He was opposed to the congressional investigation into the January 6th insurrection. He urged voting against the release of any documents related to Trump’s criminal conspiracies. He is also against compelling testimony from Trump’s accomplices like Steve Bannon and Mark Meadows. So whether or not he “still thinks Trump is ‘morally responsible'” – which he said on the Senate floor shortly after the Capitol riots – that isn’t really relevant. McConnell clearly thinks Trump should be granted a “Get of Jail Free” card. Although his motivation is more focused on the GOP retaining power then on Trump’s interests.

However, that wasn’t the only ridiculousness in Robinson’s tweet. It is also notable for calling the insurrection, that everyone watched live on TV, “fake” and baselessly accusing it of having been “created by the FBI.” That’s a conspiracy theory she probably borrowed from Tucker Carlson, the Senior Conspiracy Crackpot of Fox News.

In addition to that laughably moronic outburst, a supporter of Trump at a recent cult rally was interviewed by TheGoodLiars about getting vaccinated for the coronavirus. It didn’t take long to devolve into pure farce:

Trump Supporter: Everyone who has taken the vaccine will be dead within 5 to 15 years. Guaranteed!
TheGoodLiars: So why did Donald Trump authorize Operation Warp Speed and create the vaccine?
Trump Supporter: Because if not, I think a lot more people would have died.

Lemme get this straight. More people would have died if it weren’t for the vaccine that is killing everyone? For the record, there have already been about 220 million American adults vaccinated. The total population of the U.S. is about 330 million. That means that after all of these vaccinated people die off there only be 110 million people in the whole country. That will have some positive consequences for the environment and anyone who is looking to buy property. Problems with traffic and getting concert tickets will disappear. However, the economy will take a massive hit with the reduction in both people to consume things and people to make things.

This Trumpist also seems a bit confused about the lethality of the vaccine. When asked about Trump’s role in producing it, he flipped his argument, asserting that it actually saved lives. So which is it – miracle cure or deadly toxin? Don’t bother asking any Trump supporter.

As a bonus feature, you may be interested to learn that Donald Trump Jr had his fee fees hurt when he learned that the people of New York hate him and his family. He tweeted a link to an article in the New York Post that claimed that “[Mayor] De Blasio’s bid to rid NYC of Trump name could cost taxpayers over $30 million.”

That $30 million figure is based on dubious estimates by either the Trump Organization (known for misrepresenting the value of their properties) and the NYPost. However, many Trump properties have already divorced themselves from the brand on their own. And there is an argument to be made that ditching the Trump name would make the properties more profitable. So this is a trend that is only just getting started.

NOTE: Twitter suspended the News Corpse account after 11 years without giving a reason. So if anyone wants to tweet articles from my website, please feel free to do so often and repeatedly. Also, Be sure to visit and follow News Corpse on Instagram. Thanks for your support.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Fox News Celebrates 25 Years of Ripping America Apart with Propaganda, Lies, and Racism

Posted by on October 10, 2021 at 7:07 pm. 5 Comments :

In 1996 Rupert Murdoch, an immigrant to the United States via England, via Australia (neither of whom would take him back), joined with a professional Republican propagandist, Roger Ailes (who was later fired due to his serial sexual harassment), to launch a cable “news” network with the express purpose of advancing ultra-rightist policies and promoting neo-fascist politicians.

Fox News, Fake News

Twenty-five years later Fox News continues to sow discord and turn the American people against one another. Most recently Fox News has contributed (along with Donald Trump) to the demise of hundreds of thousands of Americans by dispensing disinformation about the deadly coronavirus. They have fractured democracy by buttressing Trump’s “Big Lie” that the 2020 presidential election was “rigged” and “Stolen” from him. They have defended the domestic terrorism of Trump’s January 6th insurrection. And they have exacerbated racial hatred by promulgating the “white replacement theory”

Notwithstanding that resume of ill-repute, the “Curvy Couch” potatoes at Fox and Friends were anxious to honor their employer with platitudes that bore no resemblance to reality. Co-host Rachel Campos-Duffy embraced a fairy tale worldview when she gushed that…

“Don’t you wish you had a dime for every time someone said to you, ‘what would happen to America if we didn’t have Fox News.’ We’d have no alternative information at all. Think about that. Democracy, essentially, would die. Because you can’t have a democracy like that.”

Really? Campos-Duffy is lauding Fox News for its commitment to “alternative information,” a close cousin to the infamous “alternative facts“ contrived by Trump advisor Kellyanne Conway. And her conclusion that such manufactured falsehoods are required for democracy to continue is downright laughable.

Speaking of laughable, Desi Lydic of the The Daily Show had a much better tribute to what Fox News has contributed to the nation and the world for the past twenty-five years. Her homage includes such gems as…

“Without Fox News I wouldn’t know that Hillary Clinton showered in baby blood or that Planned Parenthood invented Benghazi with George Soros and the Teletubbies at the Venezuelan BET Awards.”

And…

“Fox News, you should be proud of yourself. For the past 25 years you brought half this country together – against the other half.”

Buckle up and enjoy the rest of the fantastical accolades Lydic has compiled for the Fox News anniversary. It’s funny because it’s true.

NOTE: Twitter suspended the News Corpse account after 11 years without giving a reason. So if anyone wants to tweet articles from my website, please feel free to do so often and repeatedly. Also, Be sure to visit and follow News Corpse on Instagram. Thanks for your support.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

NY Post Newshound Chews Out Psaki Over the Biting Controversy of Biden’s Dog, Major

Posted by on August 27, 2021 at 4:28 pm. 3 Comments :

The United States is currently facing some serious challenges. First and foremost is the ongoing COVID pandemic that is surging among the vaccine resistant Trump supporters and Fox News viewers. There are also crucial legislative matters pending concerning infrastructure investment and voting rights. And President Biden’s commitment to ending the war in Afghanistan has encountered some tragic obstacles that Trump and the GOP aren’t shy about exploiting for political purposes.

Rex, the Hero Dog

Consequently, it’s encouraging when a real journalist has the courage to chow down on the issues that truly impact the lives of the American people. Which is exactly what the New York Post’s Steven Nelson did at Friday’s White House press briefing (video below). Not wanting to be just another lapdog in the press corps, Nelson took a bite out of press secretary Jen Psaki as she attempted to chase away the day’s most critical questions with distracting “treats” about war and viral diseases. When he was recognized by Psaki Nelson muttered that…

“Yesterday the conservative transparency group Judicial Watch released Secret Service records on dog bites involving the First Dog, Major. One email said that the Secret Service agents were bitten every single day for eight days from March 1st to March 8th, and that White House visitor was as well. At a March 9th briefing, you only described one biting incident to us, and described the dogs as being whisked back to Delaware on a preplanned trip to his family friends.

“Obviously, that is not the world’s most important story, but it is significant because we expect honest information even for minor stories. So can you explain to us why there was kind of a misleading account presented to us? And if we can’t get honest information about minor stories, why should we have faith in the administration’s account for larger issues like Afghanistan?”

Indeed! Whether it’s Afghans or German Shepherds or Russian Sheep Dogs, the people must be told the truth. Some observers might think that Nelson was just bitching about an old story that has been a pet project of his for a long time. Or they may regard his howling as typical for a newspaper that is of the same breed as Fox News (i.e. fox terriers). But the American people will not roll over for government officials who bury the bones of important stories in the Rose Garden. Which is why Psaki’s response was so critical:

“I know you do keep the dog in the news in the briefing room, so thank you for that. As we’ve stated previously. Major has had some challenges adjusting to life in the White House. He has been receiving additional training, as well as spending some time in Delaware where the environment is more familiar to him and he is more comfortable. I don’t have any additional specifics, but I think that speaks to where Major is located to be fully transparent in your ongoing interest in the dog.

Hopefully, this will satisfy Nelson and the rest of the media watch dogs, and they will stop hounding the White House. Major, like any other presidential family member, is not a public figure and deserves to have his privacy respected. And one thing that the nation doesn’t need right now is another “wag the dog” melodrama.

NOTE: Twitter suspended the News Corpse account after 11 years without giving a reason. So if anyone wants to tweet articles from my website, please feel free to do so often and repeatedly. Also, Be sure to visit and follow News Corpse on Instagram. Thanks for your support.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Hannity’s Infantile Anti-Biden Tweet Draws a Scorching Backlash Against Trump

Posted by on May 25, 2021 at 1:08 pm. 1 Comments :

No one has ever accused Sean Hannity of being an intellectual giant. And for good reason. He is notoriously uninformed and illogical. His greatest asset as a television pundit is his ability to lie without shame and an inexhaustible supply of arrogance.

Donald Trump Sean Hannity

On Monday evening Hannity thought he was struck with a brilliant inspiration for a tweet to attack President Biden. It elaborated on a theme that Hannity has been trying to popularize for months, with no success whatsoever. Despite his repeated failures, Hannity’s contention that Biden is mentally deficient is contradicted every time Biden speaks publicly. And the American people (according to a Fox News poll!) have already concluded that it’s Donald Trump who is too mentally unsound to serve.

Undaunted, Hannity tweeted this pathetic bit of childishness…

Seriously? This is the level of political discourse provided by the host of a program that Fox News presents with pride every night in primetime? And ironically this comes from someone who has his own peculiar bedtime rituals. Hannity was known to have nighty-night calls with Trump every night after his show.

In all fairness, it isn’t actually any worse than the rest of Fox’s lineup (i.e. Tucker Carlson, Laura Ingraham, and the “Curvy Couch” potatoes of Fox and Friends). But the one redeeming factor is that this sort of idiocy is so easy to rebut. And Twitter was ready and willing to take on that duty:

NOTE: Twitter recently suspended the News Corpse account after 11 years without giving a reason. So if anyone wants to tweet articles from my website, please feel free to do so often and repeatedly. Also, Be sure to visit and follow News Corpse on Instagram. Thanks for your support.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

FLAGRANT FOWL: QAnon GOP Rep Blames ‘Biden’s America’ for Chick-fil-A Sauce Shortage

Posted by on May 13, 2021 at 7:53 am. 7 Comments :

On a day when there was no shortage of newsworthy subjects to focus on – Liz Cheney’s ouster from her House Republican leadership post, conflict in the Middle East, congressional hearings on the Capitol insurrection – Colorado’s own QAnon congresswoman, Lauren Boebert, managed to detour into a deep ravine of ridiculousness – an area with which she is intimately familiar.

Lauren Boebert

The Hill published a story Wednesday morning with breaking news coverage of a critical matter facing the American people…

“‘Due to industry-wide supply chain disruptions, some Chick-fil-A restaurants are experiencing a shortage of select items, like sauces. We are actively working to make adjustments to solve this issue quickly and apologize to our Guests for any inconvenience,’ a Chick-fil-A spokesperson said.”

Holy Shitake Mushrooms! First a deadly pandemic, and now this? Haven’t we suffered enough? Well, according to QAnon Rep. Lauren Boebert our tribulations have been thrust upon us by the singular cause of every problem known to mankind for the past four months: President Joe Biden. Or so says Boebert…

That’s right! Somehow Biden is responsible for the Chick-fil-A sauce shortage that is devastating the nation. Boebert doesn’t say exactly how Biden screwed this up, but she’s certain that he’s the one who did it. Just as certain as she is that Biden’s climate plan includes cutting 90% of red meat from our diets. It’s a coordinated plot to hit the beef industry first, and then – BAM – go after poultry when people try to adjust. It’s downright diabolical.

Some folks are saying that Boebert herself is a double agent, carrying out her own role in this dastardly scheme. Last year it was reported that “her pork sliders allegedly poisoned dozens of people at a local rodeo, making them nauseous and sending some home with bloody diarrhea.” So there goes pork products.

Before long the Democrats (or is it socialists?) will force us all to become – GASP – vegetarians. Or worse, we will all simply be starved to make the planet more hospitable to the non-human species from whom it was stolen. Boebert’s comrade, Tomi Lahren, may have already caught on to that conspiracy:

Never mind that the sauce shortages were caused by interruptions in distribution due to gas shortages caused by the Russian-affiliated cyber-ransom attack on Colonial Pipeline. See how the dots are connecting? Then Fox News played its part by frightening their viewers into believing that the supply of gas would soon dwindle, so they had better stock up.

In the meantime, you may want to to start hoarding condiments from your favorite fast food restaurants before they have all disappeared. There may not be much time left. And if we aren’t careful, the only source of nutrition left will be from Del Taco. And if you don’t know what that means, ask Tucker Carlson who has uncovered the “white replacement theory,” a plot by Democrats to flood the electorate with non-white voters. There are dark days ahead folks.

UPDATE: Naturally, Fox News was all over this frightful story, shouting that “Chick-fil-A sauce shortage blamed on ‘Joe Biden’s America'” And they featured tweets by numerous worried and sauce-less patriots such as Josh Mandel, Clay Travis, and Ted Cruz:

NOTE: Twitter recently suspended the News Corpse account after 11 years without giving a reason. So if anyone wants to tweet articles from my website, please feel free to do so often and repeatedly. Also, Be sure to visit and follow News Corpse on Instagram. Thanks for your support.

How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.

Sean Hannity Flings Flaccid Threat at Jimmy Kimmel: ‘Don’t Talk About My Show’

Posted by on May 11, 2021 at 11:44 am. 6 Comments :

The violent insurrection advocates and malicious anti-vaxxers at Fox News have been working overtime to frighten the American people on behalf of the former reality TV game show host, and twice-impeached loser, Donald Trump, whom they have coronated as their lord and savior.

Fox News, Sean Hannity, Jimmy Kimmel

But they have to take some time off every now and then to bask in their own narcissistic outrage and victimhood. On Monday Sean Hannity took the opportunity to lash out against a late night talk show comedian who, according to Hannity, was “spewing hatred and rage” He thinks that’s what comedians do because his only role model is Fox’s terminally unfunny Greg Gutfeld.

Hannity was appalled that Jimmy Kimmel had the temerity to poke fun at his interview with Caitlyn Jenner. In Kimmel’s monologue (video below) he mocked Jenner’s callous commentary about the homeless in California, noting that a neighbor of his was moving to Arizona so he wouldn’t have to “walk down the streets and see the homeless.” Well, that was just too much for Hannity who unloaded this unhinged rant:

“Far-left, low-rated late-night host Jimmy Kimmel is spewing more hatred and more rage saying, ‘Is it transphobic to call a trans person an ignorant a-hole,’ in response to our interview with Caitlyn Jenner talking about the real problem of homelessness. Jimmy, what is with all the anger and all the cheap shots? Yet you haven’t noticed all the homeless people all over your state.

“By the way, don’t you have anything better to do? Maybe actually trying to be funny or boost your dismal ratings because we’re absolutely crushing you by like 70% in total viewers. That’s this quarter. Jimmy, here’s my advice, don’t talk about my show anymore. […] You talk about my show, I’ll hit you back 50 times harder.” [Later adding that…]

“We had a little spat back in the day. And if he wants me to remind his bosses at Disney of all the crap that he’s done over the years that, frankly, are pretty ignorant, to use his words, I’ll be glad to pick that fight. I’d advise him not to talk about me anymore. That’s my advice. Late night as we once knew it is dead.”

First of all, Hannity’s idea of what “talking about the real problem of homelessness” is consists of two sentences about a wealthy man who was driven from California by just the sight of poor people. But then Hannity got to the core issue, which was his hurt feelings at having been the butt of Kimmel’s jokes.

So naturally, Hannity threatens Kimmel with a threat so impotent it couldn’t hold up a feather. Does Hannity think that the Disney executives are unaware of the ancient bits that Kimmel did long ago? Does he really think that bringing those up is hitting back “50 times harder”? And what is his point about the ratings? Anyone who is knowledgeable about television knows that you can’t compare primetime numbers to late night.

Hannity is competing in a contest for which is pitifully unprepared. If Kimmel chooses to take up this challenge you can rest assured that Hannity will end up toasted beyond recognition. So in addition to provoking a fight over an issue that Hannity can’t defend, he’s also setting himself up for an epic ass-whooping. and this is what passes for “news” on the Fox network.

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How Fox News Deceives and Controls Their Flock:
Fox Nation vs. Reality: The Fox News Cult of Ignorance.
Available now at Amazon.